Addicted to Heroin and needing desperate help

[hldover25]

I've been shooting heroin daily now for about 3 months. I know I am addicted, and I know I need help.

Here is my history with the drug. My first time shooting was in mid-October of the year 2004. From this time on, I've been shooting up daily until now. For the first month or so, I could go a day or so without the drug without any problem at all, although I rarely took a day off. After a month of using I realized I was in big trouble and was headed for much bigger trouble. I attempted to quit all by myself in mid-November. That lasted about 2 days before I gave in without much of a personal fight. Now, for the last 2 months, my addiction has gotten worse and worse. I spend all my money on "h", and all I think about is getting high. The last week or so, I've really been struggling with my addiction. For about the last month until 3 or 4 days ago, I was shooting up (on average) once in the daytime (around 4 or 5 PM when I woke up) and 2 to 3 times at night (after work usually in the AM hours). The last 3 or 4 days I've only shot up once a day, and I feel like I'm going crazy. I get very depressed about 8 hours after shooting up, then the physical withdrawals wipe that out at hour 12 or 16. Then it is straight hell until I get my next fix. I guess the only symptoms that really get to me are the restlessness and the insomnia. I can't lie still for more than a minute which makes it pretty hard to sleep. The other withdrawals I can deal with, the restlessness and inability to sleep, I cannot.

A little info on me personally: I am 24 years old and am a college student living at home with my parents and 3 younger brothers. My parents are religious and I know it would kill them to know of my addiction. More so, I do not want my brothers to find out.... it would kill them too because we are pretty close. When I do the drug, I do it alone. I stay in my basement and just watch TV or get on the computer. I don't shoot up with friends or anyone.

I know I need to quit, but I don't know if I can. I guess, what I am asking of you guys is what to expect when I DO quit. When will I feel normal again? When will I be able to get a decent night's rest?

I know that the physical withdrawals last anywhere from 3 to 7 days. What about my case? Any guesses?

One more thing... what are your thoughts on using Xanax, Vicodin, etc. to aid in quitting?

Also, I know many of you will say check into detox and go to NA meetings, etc. Please give me other alternatives for quitting on my own (or with help of clean friends)

[Time2Surrender]

hldover25,welcome to SoberRecovery.You can quit if you want.I was never into Heroin,but stick around.we have plenty of people on this site that have kicked and been clean a long time.Im sure someone will be along soon that can answer some of your questions.

[lostchild35]

hi hldover25, i wish you the best of luck on quiting, as i watched my g/f try and kick the first time, i can tell ya if you can quit, there will be some trying times ahead of you, the best way i can describe the withdrawls as she told me, was like the flu symtoms and needles all over her body, except worse on the flu part, as for vics and other, i would ask a dr. or some kind of counselor for help, my g/f tried the methadone treatment for awhile, but found herself still using. it finally took detox and treatment.
but she also says, that people have different metabalisms for quiting.
by the way, my g/f recently relapsed so, there is always a chance unless you can keep yourslef strong and willing.... and try and meet new people would help, clean ones.
hope that helps in some way
dan

[Cathy31]

Hi There
YOu're still so young, if you can do this (which you can!) you have the whole of your life ahead of you.

I won't suggest NA or rehab even those are the first that sprang to mind.

1) What I will mention is...doctor? Can you go see one and get proper advice.

2) Don't do this on your own. You say it will kill your family...no, you being killed, you killing yourself slowly without wanting to stopp (which you do!!) is what will kill your family. I hope that I can help you to understand...your family want nothing more than to help you. I WOULD TELL MY PARENTS if I were you. They will help you.

If you can't do this, then definitely get the doc's advice.

What you are trying to do is VERY DIFFICULT (wanting to do on own) but IT CAN BE DONE. And once you're over the worst, you're over it!!

You can do it = please keep coming back and you will get lots of advice from many great people here.

GOod luck
Cathy31
x

[S-ROD]

Do not use any other drugs to help you quit. You will get addicted to them. I have been off oxys for 78 days. I did them for 2 years. And it started just like you. I started out just getting high once in a while then my life revolved around getting high. Get out as soon as possible, it only gets worse and worse. It doesnt go away on its own. That why i did it for so long. I thought it would go away. I hit rock bottom before i stopped. And i hit hard. I wouldnt want anyone to have to do that to stop. You'll physical withdrawals will go away in about 3 days. Night sweats are bad, and you'll have the chills all the time for the 3 days. But the mental withdrawals last for a while. I still feel depressed sometimes. The cravings are terrible too but just take it a day at a time and you will be fine. If you cant do it alone, get help from an outpatient clinic. Look into them. They are confeditional. You can talk to me anytime. you'll feel so much better when a substance is not controling your life. Love, stacy. P.s. good luck!!!

[lostchild35]

hey hldover25, another quick note, when i was looking into this, i read somewhere, taking saunas helps out alot with pushing out the toxins in the body, and staying active.. my prayer are with you....

[nodope]

Hi Hldover, I have been there. Also I understand concerning your family If I could kick, and STAY clean I believe almost everyone could.

I ABSOLUTELY empathize with the insomnia. That was also the worse symptom for me. It is maddening not being able to close your eyes for ten days.

My advice also is please do not consider using other med's to help. It will not. You have taken the first big step.

Just PM me, and we can talk. Hang in there, sweetie. Just hold on, and know you want this very badly.

BTW it took me many, many detoxes. Rehabilitation is needed. Meetings will help you immensely. Promise.

[hldover25]

Thanks for everyone's help! I think I need to clear up that I have NOT quit yet. I have been reading into everything involved and one thing I noticed a lot was it is good to plan out the whole detox process. I think I'm going to try to kick it for good on January 28th. Some of you talked of not using meds to help quit, but I think I'm going to have to have some just to get some shut eye here and there.

I found an interesting website that kind of mapped out the detox process on average. The site said the physical withdrawals will last around 5 to 7 days with the worst of it coming on day #3. Then there comes a 1 to 2 week period where the body gets used to being free from heroin. Some may not sleep for the initial 5 to 7 days but will gradually get more and more sleep the following week or 2. After this period, the site states that it will be another 1 to 2 months before you will feel completely normal again. During this time there will be periods of insomnia and depression... ANYONE KNOW IF THIS IS FAIRLY ACURATE OR NOT????

[Evanna]

Sounds about right to me. But dont forget that is a generalisation and much will depend on other factors such as your age, physical health, length of using. I know that withdrawing feels like shite when you are in it but i suspect that you will be through the physical side quite quickly.

Great that you are making plans for quitting.

Best Wishes
Evanna.

[nodope]

Every kick is different. You are very wise to do research, but reading about it, and doing it are two different things. It is definately worth it when you come out the other side. It is your life.

Take into consideration where you will detox. Telling someone about it is very important. You live with your family so they will keep asking what is wrong. The flu excuse often works on people that don't know about the drug use, but you will certainly not feel like explaining yourself. Also you are less apt to run out, and score to relieve the withdrawl if someone is with you who is helping you.

You are doing a wonderful thing. You must also have a plan on what to do after detox. This is crucial. Meetings will give you a good support system.

[WNY Addict]

Originally Posted by hldover25

My parents are religious and I know it would kill them to know of my addiction. More so, I do not want my brothers to find out.... it would kill them too because we are pretty close.

Think of how much they'd be hurting if you overdosed or caught a incurable disease due to your using, hldover25.

I (along with anyone anyone else here) can't tell you what to do, but we can share our own experiences.

I know that I avoided a inpatient detox program for some of the same reasons you're worried.... your family finding out. My family was aware of my drug problem, but they had no idea how involving it was. They thought I just had a problem with pills, and they had no idea that I was into intervenous drugs.

In hindsight, I went through relapses, lost more jobs, friends and self esteem by not dealing with my problem earlier. It's easier said than done, but now I'm at the point where I don't care what people think of my past. I've made ammends for what I've done, I'm a contributing productive member of society, I help other addicts, and I live my life the NA way. There's nothing more I could do, and other people's opinions of stuff that I may have done holds little signifigance to me.

This is a life or death situation, and you have to realize that there's a lot worse that can become of this than hurt feelings. I did outpatient programs (which eventually worked after the thrid attempt), but I wish I would've had the strength and courage to ask for the inpatient detox that was offered to me. There's no need to suffer through nasty withdrawl, and they can help you much better in an inpatient setting.

The choice is totally up to you, friend, but remember that it's your life that is at stake here.
God Bless, and many prayers.

PM me, anytime.

[Jane63]

Hi hldover25 and glad to see your still with us!
I was afraid to go to inpatient detox too...for all the same reasons, but it was the best decission I ever made. The medications they gave me while I was there kept the worst of the WDs at bay and I was monitored by professionals which I feel is very important. They also provide helpful info while there and for when you go home to help you stay on the right path...that is priceless!!

I am very close to my family too! I thought I had them all fooled, but they knew...maybe not every detail, but they just "knew". Not trying to scare you or anything, but you may be surprised just exactly what all your family knows as well! I needed all the love and support from my family that they could give and fessing up, for me, was not an option...it just seemed like the right thing to do...but these choices are our own and I wish you the best in making yours!

Please keep visiting as we have all been there before and many have helpful ideas and insights...take what you need and leave what you don't, but please make the choice to get clean as it is one you will never regret!
{{{HUGS}}}
Jane

[gratefulgal]

Originally Posted by hldover25

I found an interesting website that kind of mapped out the detox process on average. The site said the physical withdrawals will last around 5 to 7 days with the worst of it coming on day #3. Then there comes a 1 to 2 week period where the body gets used to being free from heroin. Some may not sleep for the initial 5 to 7 days but will gradually get more and more sleep the following week or 2. After this period, the site states that it will be another 1 to 2 months before you will feel completely normal again. During this time there will be periods of insomnia and depression... ANYONE KNOW IF THIS IS FAIRLY ACURATE OR NOT????

I learned that heroin gets out of your system completely within 7 days. Your info. sounds pretty accurate. I also learned that as far as the more long-term "withdrawal," you can expect to have post acute withdrawal symptoms (memory loss, poor coordination, sleep disturbance, etc.) as follows: 1 year = 1 month. In other words, I used pills for about 2 1/2 years so I can expect to experience post acute withdrawal symptoms for about 2 1/2 months (it could be shorter, but that's the formula they use). Hope that makes sense.

[nodope]

Originally Posted by Jane63

I am very close to my family too! I thought I had them all fooled, but they knew...maybe not every detail, but they just "knew". Not trying to scare you or anything, but you may be surprised just exactly what all your family knows as well! I needed all the love and support from my family that they could give and fessing up, for me, was not an option...it just seemed like the right thing to do
Jane

That is an excellent point, Jane. We are so shocked when we discover how much our families know. They may not be able to put a finger on it exactly, but they know.

When the truth comes out you feel such relief, and have a support system to boot. My dad was a cop for thirty some years. It was unimaginable for me to tell him I was a heroin addict. I was so into my addiction that I was in a neighborhood where he patrolled to score all the time. There was absolutely NO reason for me to ever be there. I found out later that my one brother followed me a few times, and reported back to him. All the while I thought I had them all fooled.

Please hang in there Sweetie. This is your life, and your future. Inpatient detox can truly help you both physically, and more importantly mentally.

[hldover25]

Thank you all so much, and please keep the responses coming. I'm leaning more and more towards telling my parents, but I still don't know. You guys are right, they would do anything for me. They are the best parents in the world. I just don't know how I can say: "Mom, Dad: I've been shooting up heroin in our house for 3 months now". I just wish there was an easy way to quit.

Any more info on what I should expect during the entire detox process would be greatly appreciated.

Also, one more thing. Should I plan to take off of work the first 3 or 4 days of my detox? By day 5 will I be OK to work?

Thanks again to all of you! All of your responses are helpful and greatly appreciated. I have decided that January 28th will be my first day of a long life without heroin! (Would it make it any easier if I tapered my use for the next week and a half until this date?)

[Time2Surrender]

I don't know your parents and I understand it might be hard to tell them whats going on.But,I doubt it would be as heartbreaking as attending your funeral.Sounds like you could use some help.Anyway,I am glad you are here.