jinx230

Howdy again peoples...Still sober thankfully, about 5 months now.

Its funny now that I'm off of drugs...I'm really just returning to the person I already was. I mean, I had all these thoughts while I was stoned, but now when I attempt things, I have found that in some ways I have changed, but it others, I am the same person that I always was.

The only thing that's really bothering me is that sobriety has truly opened my eyes to a whole new life that I would like to achieve. What does that take? Hard work and dealing with a lot of frustration, aka, the reason I like to get high. I haven't been thinking about weed at all, but I just feel so down at the moment really. I have a lot to achieve to get where I wanna be in life, and I am a bit upset b/c achieving all these things will take A) hard work, B) a change in lifestyle and possibly friends. I feel overwhelmed by it all. On top of everything, I think I lost one of my best friends. I'm not so upset cause I don't even feel like we have much in common anymore. I'm upset b/c its another social outlet that is lost. As of sobering up, I lost alot of those druggy friends, and interest in activities that I usually only liked when stoned.

So, as always, just wanna hear feedback from anyone else out there. I feel like a great life is out there for me, but I just hate how its gonna take so much hard work to get there. Being high gave me that instant "great" feeling in life. Now to achieve that feeling I will need to find real things - I know what they are, but they all seem so distant.

Also - so you all know - I've definitely been putting things off and not taking one step at a time. I know this is wrong - but do not know how to break the trend.

Thanks for listening all!

Doug

Welcome back jinx, and congrat's on the 5 months. You must be doing something right, just keep doing it.

eddie z.

Hey, jinx! Welcome back. I remember you, believe it or not. And congrats on your 5 months!!!

The best way I know of to have friends in recovery is to have friends in recovery. In other words, try going to some meetings and finding some face-to-face support. Are you going to any meetings? You can find answers to alot of your concerns there.

Another thing you might want to do is to make a gratitude list. There's even a forum here devoted to that. Stop in some time and count your blessings. It's amazing how much difference it can make to look at the positives. And give yourself some credit, too. Five months is FANTASTIC!

By the way, when you say "sober," do you mean you quit alcohol, too? If so, BRAVO! :bravo I seem to recall that was a decision you were struggling with.

Peace, love, and joy,
Eddie

OxyWantin

5 months, now that’s an achievement! I’m still working on 5 days! But letting go is hard to do. You have loose those old friends and find new ones that will help you achieve your goals. Ask yourself what it is you would really want to do with rest of your life. Finding the right people along the way to your goal is what the hard work is. I was luck enough to hang around with people that were going the same place I was. I’m not sure how that happened, so I can’t give you any tips. But try hanging out with people that do things that you would really love to do. It’s also important to set modest goals so that you can actually achieve them.

Good Luck with whatever you do.

Dan

eddie z.

Dan,
The first five days are the hardest coming off oxycodone. I know this from lots of experience. Hang in there, get to a meeting, and know that it gets better.

Dan and jinx,
I firmly believe that "luck" has little to do with it or that we make our own luck. And I don't think it's that hard work to find people whose goal is to live clean. There are lots of support groups, including but not limited to, NA, that can help. All you have to do is ask! Trying to stay clean alone was hopeless for me. But I have found all the support, acceptance, and love I need (and more) in my fellowship. I wish you both the best!

Peace, love, hugs, and joy,
Eddie

jinx230

It's kinda funny - but I find it very difficult to now get along with the friends I had that smoke pot. I onyl hang out with these people for a specific reason, and even now when they are cool, I am still like "Dude, what is wrong with you?" I guess when your on that pot wavelength everyone has similiar ways of rationalizing things, and they must sounds awfully weird to me now that I am sober.

Sometimes I feel like saying something to one of the friends, but then again, I'm not even sure that I want to be friends with these people anymore. Very messed up - I know if I was stoned we could easily chill, but now that I'm sober, its harder. I wish it was easy for me to understand, but it really isn't at all. I know potheads tend to be inclusive amongst themselves, but I don't get this one.

eddie z.

I've always been told that if I wanted to stay clean, to change my "playgrounds, playmate, and playthings." If all you had in common revolved around smoking dope, then why would you want to hang with them anyway? You sound more sure than you say you are. Wishing you well!
—EZ

jinx230

I've been friends with one of the kids for a long time - and he's one of my better friends - well, at least I thought he was for a while. But recently, I'm beginning to wonder if our last 2 years of friendship was all due to weed. I mean, I have definitely been having other interests lately, but its truly hard for me to tell with this one friend.

I tell you this - right now, he's not really calling me or anything and its like hes holding a grudge. However, I have no real desire to call him to try and fix the situation. I think we may have a had a good friendship long ago, then had one through weed, now do not b/c of it.

The grudge he has, my un-willingness to say something and my presumed intuition that we no longer have anything in common leads me to believe that we should not be friends. But we were for a while, and I suppose if he wasn't being weird we might be - too hard to tell at this point.

eddie z.

Sounds like you are moving on, jinx. I wish you the best!
—EZ