Brooklynd77

It's been a little over a month since I've spoken with my ex addict and I feel I'm starting to get back to normal. It's a great feeling.
Though, I know it's not super healthy, but I have been keeping an eye open to possibly prepare myself for what's next to come with him. But I have to say, I'm surprised that nothing has come. Everything has been pretty quiet. The quietness has me a bit worried for some reason.
I know he was lucky with his recent arrest which happened in April. The drug charges got reduced to a misdemeanor with probation upon release.
This leads me to my question - has anyone had anyone they know been arrested for drugs and released on probation? What is it that they're required to do on probation? If there are drug tests, are they random and often? Are they capable of beating the system and still use while on probation?
Though I don't think about it often, I do hope maybe this silence is from him having to stay clean. Him staying clean equals a peaceful and quiet life for me.
Thank you in advance!

hope778

Brooklynd77 - My husband got probation for a possession charge. It was 6mo of probation if I remember correctly... He had to check in with his PO every few weeks (at his PO's office) and do drug tests those days. From my understanding the drug tests weren't "random" so he knew when they were coming. So, yes, he was able to trick the system. It came out late that he had relapsed during his probation period, so I know he was still using and somehow passing the tests.

AnvilheadII

well, one would be STUPID to use while on probation, so...............yeah people use while on probation all the time. getting away with it is a matter of perspective.

is there any REAL reason for you to keep tabs on him now?

JScatt

When I got my DUI 11 years ago I had to do random tests for a year. They, the state of CO used a color system.
You were assigned a color and the probation office would pick a color each day to determine who was to be tested.
Example: My color was red so I had to call the probation office EVERY day and ask what color they were testing that day, if it was my color I had to go test , sometimes my color was the color three days in a row sometimes it would be once in a week, it was VERY VERY random with no pattern and made it impossible as to guessing when it was safe to have a few drinks.
I believe they used the same system for all drugs, I'm sure the method varies from state to state

teatreeoil007

Yes, people on probation for drug charges are subjected to drug testing. IMO the only kind of reliable drug testing is random. Drug users know how long drugs typically stay in their system and would show positive on a urine drug screen, so they often try to plan ahead if they know a drug test is scheduled to come up like at a PO visit. They try to cheat all the time and sometimes they get away with it; sometimes they don't. I don't know why your ex is quiet, but what good does it do you to worry about him? It's best to let him go for your own peace of mind; regardless of what he might be up to.

Brooklynd77

Thank you for all the responses. It looks like it just depends on the state and probably the probation officer. But, I see now its definitely a possibility.
I think the reason I was keeping track of what is going on from time to time is because he always seems to find a way to get ahold of me. It ruins my day, even week sometimes and I'm the kind of girl who likes to be prepared. I don't check as often as I used to, but I'm not perfect and this is how I'm dealing at the moment..
Thank you for all of your responses.

I actually heard from a friend of his that he's in a 3 month rehab program. He's asking for my address to write to me, to make amends. Is it terrible that I said no? I'm not ready to hear an apology when he's only been clean for a week and a half.. I also feel as though I've heard it all before, over and over again. I just told his friend to relay a message to him that if he really wants to say he's sorry- complete the full 90 days and make a plan upon release on how to stay sober and then he can make amends with me.

hope778

I think you were very strong to say no, personally. If you're not ready you're not ready. I am the wife of an addict, and I know how desperate we are at times to have them come back and say sorry, so the fact that you were able to realize you are not ready to open that door shows strength.

If he truly wants to make amends, he will give you your space for now and try again in due time.

HardLessons

I have a relationship with an IV heroine user who is on probation for a year

I see all the signs of his continued drug use small pupils, track marks on arms, nodding out while talking to him. Saw him recently, asked him to text his GF about what time to pick him up & he nodded out in the middle of texting her. I had to text her.

I don't really understand how he beats the probation drug tests. He is about 6 months in. He was arrested for possession & paraphernalia Has a long criminal history mostly due to IV drug use.

Probation knows he is an addict. I don't get it.