BelleReve

Hi, I'm Reve. I don't know where to turn. I need to explain a bit before I can explain my predicament:

When I was 17-19, I was suffering an unexpected, intense bout of chronic pain which lasted for a couple years until my doctor discovered the cause was endometriosis and polycystic ovary syndrome. In 2008, I had laparoscopic surgery and the pain went away completely. Unfortunately, my dependence on my pain pills became an addiction so I went to detox and rehab in 2013.

I swore never to touch narcotic meds again. Last autumn, the intense, unexpected chronic pain hit me like a load of bricks. Endometriosis, kidney stones, and cysts in my ovaries again.

I was determined to get through it without narcotic pain meds. My new doctor warned me that if I left myself in too much pain for too long, a relapse would be more likely. I didn't listen and ended up accepting medical marijuana from a friend because I was hysterical and in a lot of pain after 2 and a half months of trying practically every non-narcotic pain killer in the book (I've been on Gabapentin since 2010). (Recreational and medicinal marijuana is legal in my state.) I lost my sobriety just short of four years.

To shorten the story, my doctor put me on a temporary low dose of pain killers due to the severity of my pain. I gave the pain pill bottle to my mom so I wouldn't be tempted, and I'm doing well with taking the medicine only when I need it....but that's exactly how my addiction started in the first place!

My parents are worried- especially my dad- but they also respect how responsible I've been... I feel like they may not trust me even though they helped me make the decision to take the low dose of pain pills. I, myself- I'm scared to death that I'll end up in that horrible place of addiction again. I've told my doctor I'll do anything to get out of pain because it's a sobriety predator, so to speak, and I honestly can't stand living in this much pain.

I just finished my 2nd refill of pain pills and my doctor has referred me to a pain management doctor. I cannot express how incredibly uncomfortable I am with this idea, but I don't want leave myself in too much pain for too long like I did before.

I've made an appointment to "put my foot down" and have my doctor set up another laparoscopy since that's what solved my pain problem last time (and the surgeon told me I would need another laparoscopy in 8-10 years).

But in the meantime, I'm right where my addiction started in the first place. I will not allow myself to fall into that horrible place of addiction again. It's so emotionally painful and unfair to me as well as my family.

To be honest, I've noticed some of my specific addiction-like behavior creeping up here and there. That's what really frightens me. I moved back home last year and I haven't been able to find a new therapist yet.

Any advice? Are there any recovering addicts like me who have had to or presently deal with chronic pain?

Please pray for me. I know God will help me with this righteous endeavor.

Dee74

I'm an alcoholic but also deal with chronic pain - I have cerebral palsy and deal with nerve and joint pain.

It's hard to find a doctor who understands chronic pain and addiction but they are out there.

I've learned to rely on other things like physio therapy, exercise, and even diet to keep myself as pain free as I can.

I also have an old school anti tricyclic depressant for the nerve pain.

I guess my point is - keep looking for the right treatment for yourself. You'll find it

D

Maudcat

I have a family member who is has chronic pain from Crohn's disease. She has found some relief from a pain management clinic.

teatreeoil007

First of all I want to make clear there is no judgement here. Your pain is your pain and no one else can really understand how your pain feels. Pain is what you say it is. If you say you have pain, it's beyond me to think, "Oh it's not that bad" and what not. That is something chronic pain people face though...people sometimes don't believe them when they say they hurt. It's not our place to say, "No, you don't".

I know you're scared. But living in pain isn't good either. It can lead to other problems like depression. I think it's a great idea to try and find other ways to get out of pain and in the meantime you've given your pills to you mom to control. For, now, until you find more answers, that might be the best thing you can do. Keep searching for answers and don't give up.

tiredcat85

I find it super frustrating because depending who you talk to the opiates are really the most effective pain killer short term (unless you don't respond) and all your effort is just trying to duplicate the effects of something already right there in your hands. What can you do except go back to doctor over and over until some prescription pans out? (Then you learn it has some other effect so you can't take it long term) No point suggesting things (e.g. lyrica) cause it sounds like you tried it all. Honestly medical science is too slow. Why couldn't we be born one century later?