How to tell parents about addiction?
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Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1
How to tell parents about addiction?
I'm 18 and I just finished high school last week. Straight A student, top 10% of my class of over 700 kids, supposed to start college in the fall and I'm addicted to painkillers.
I've experimented with drugs since I was twelve. First weed, a few pills here and there, then I had major reconstructive surgery and was prescribed Vicodin and at the time I was suffering from major depression. That quickly snowballed and soon it was me smoking what I could, snorting whatever was available and stealing any pills I could get, including my mom's which is the worst feeling ever because she legitimately needs them for health reasons.
My parents know about me smoking weed and I'm sure they think I still do from time to time and maybe have the occasional drink. Most highschoolers do after all. They found this out when I was 16 and was hospitalized for suicidal thoughts and self harming. They think i've overcome everything though and they don't know that i've been hooked on pain pills for so many years now. They don't know i steal them from my mom or buy what drugs i can.
My girlfriend is supportive and does her best to keep me sober. Taking my drugs away, helping me through detox, etc. but it's not always enough nor is it fair to her. There's not much she can actually do seeing as how she's only 18 too and this is just way too serious for her to fix.
I'm tired of relapsing and of giving in and lying to everyone around me. I'm tired of being scared that when i go off to college my parents are going to get that phone call. I'm tired of having to save apology and borderline suicide notes because my addiction might take my life one day. And while I'm tired of all of this, i'm terrified to tell them. I'm terrified about what getting help might entail. I'm scared of leaving my life and starting over. Losing my job, maybe not going to school this fall, seeing the disappointment in my entire family as they realize what i'm doing. It's an extreme amount of guilt and it's so terrifying.
Does anyone here have a similar situation or was in the similar situation and can offer some advice or maybe just share their story on how they were able to tell their parents or loved ones about their addiction? Any support is really appreciated guys.
I've experimented with drugs since I was twelve. First weed, a few pills here and there, then I had major reconstructive surgery and was prescribed Vicodin and at the time I was suffering from major depression. That quickly snowballed and soon it was me smoking what I could, snorting whatever was available and stealing any pills I could get, including my mom's which is the worst feeling ever because she legitimately needs them for health reasons.
My parents know about me smoking weed and I'm sure they think I still do from time to time and maybe have the occasional drink. Most highschoolers do after all. They found this out when I was 16 and was hospitalized for suicidal thoughts and self harming. They think i've overcome everything though and they don't know that i've been hooked on pain pills for so many years now. They don't know i steal them from my mom or buy what drugs i can.
My girlfriend is supportive and does her best to keep me sober. Taking my drugs away, helping me through detox, etc. but it's not always enough nor is it fair to her. There's not much she can actually do seeing as how she's only 18 too and this is just way too serious for her to fix.
I'm tired of relapsing and of giving in and lying to everyone around me. I'm tired of being scared that when i go off to college my parents are going to get that phone call. I'm tired of having to save apology and borderline suicide notes because my addiction might take my life one day. And while I'm tired of all of this, i'm terrified to tell them. I'm terrified about what getting help might entail. I'm scared of leaving my life and starting over. Losing my job, maybe not going to school this fall, seeing the disappointment in my entire family as they realize what i'm doing. It's an extreme amount of guilt and it's so terrifying.
Does anyone here have a similar situation or was in the similar situation and can offer some advice or maybe just share their story on how they were able to tell their parents or loved ones about their addiction? Any support is really appreciated guys.
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Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 16
sorry it took so long for someone to post to you but in my opinion as a mother myself do yourself a favor and as well as your mother and go tell them asap. your life is very important and you are very unique. God broke the mold on everyone of us here on earth because he loves us that much. You are the only one that is you. You deserve a happy healthy life and your parents love you very much. go tell them and ill be praying for you. Huggs
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
First of all: Awesome job on your success in school. You should be proud. You are obviously smart. But as we all know, addiction doesn't play favorites. It can happen to anyone, and I mean ANYONE. It can happen to the homeless person with no income and it can happen to a high class high powered executive and it can happen to the pastor at church!!
Now, whether to tell the 'rents. I've got mixed feelings on that. One is if I tell them would it really benefit me? Could they really help me; would they even know what to do? Some parents are good on this and others not. Some parents would just freak out and do and say all the wrong things. Others....could be loving, supportive, helpful without being enabling. But for most of them it would really hurt them and bring them grief.
I'll be perfectly honest here: there were things I did in my college years that I would in no way tell my mother about!! No frickin' way, man. There are still some things I don't tell her. Need to know basis, I guess. So what are the things I DO tell her? Well, things that feel she can truly help me with, I guess; things that we can share that are going to benefit both of us.
I'm glad you have your sister, but so understand you don't want to burden her. I have a sister like that, but I've never felt I burdened her by sharing my problems with her, for some reason; she can take it; that's why I feel free to share so much with her. If I felt she couldn't take it I wouldn't go there. She feels free to share with me too.
Now, whether to tell the 'rents. I've got mixed feelings on that. One is if I tell them would it really benefit me? Could they really help me; would they even know what to do? Some parents are good on this and others not. Some parents would just freak out and do and say all the wrong things. Others....could be loving, supportive, helpful without being enabling. But for most of them it would really hurt them and bring them grief.
I'll be perfectly honest here: there were things I did in my college years that I would in no way tell my mother about!! No frickin' way, man. There are still some things I don't tell her. Need to know basis, I guess. So what are the things I DO tell her? Well, things that feel she can truly help me with, I guess; things that we can share that are going to benefit both of us.
I'm glad you have your sister, but so understand you don't want to burden her. I have a sister like that, but I've never felt I burdened her by sharing my problems with her, for some reason; she can take it; that's why I feel free to share so much with her. If I felt she couldn't take it I wouldn't go there. She feels free to share with me too.
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,298
Obviously you are smart, that is why chose to be here. You already know what you need to do. Maybe a little scared about how to do it. So take your friend who obviously loves you and talk to your parents. They love you too! You could have a solid 60-90 days of sobriety before college starts. Don't let this thief steal anymore days or years of your potential. Be brave, reach out and get help now! Blessing.....
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