Looking for advice/support- heroine addict
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 4
Looking for advice/support- heroine addict
First timer
About a year and a half ago I started occasionally doing pills a 17. Once I met the boyfriend (Andy) I have now he introduced me to pure pills so the milligrams started to go up each time. Becoming more and more expensive. I did pills and was very new to the whole drug thing but Andy did heroine. Andy is 23 now so he quite a few years older than me and also started with pills until it got to expensive and switched to heroine . I wasn't okay with the fact that Andy did heroine and was too scared to try it myself, well for awhile. I didn't wanna spend tons of money each weekend on pills so eventually I tried heroine. I immediately fell in love with the high. I switch from pills then to heroine. I would only mostly get high on the weekends with Andy but he had been doing heroine (not everyday) for probably a year. Then this summer Andy got a job over the road making really good money. So I would go and visit for a couple days at a time and we get high the whole time. Wasn't much else to do. So it had to pin down a time when I started snorting heroine everyday I would say it was then. So for the past about six months I have done heroine everyday. There were times we tried to stop but the withdrawals were too much. So we just continued to have to scrap toghether money to get the heroine to avoid the withdrawals. I've been arrested twice because of heroine once while I was seventeen but no charge. And the second time was on Jan 31st. The police were watching the house and pulled us over immediate after and found the heroine in my car. Andy said it was all his and took the fall for it to protect me but I still spent two days in jail. Also my car was kept by the cops. Andy was already on probation before this so is now in pretty big trouble. This was rock bottom for us there was non more hiding the fact that we were heroine addicts. He is now in treatment but will eventually have to do jail time. After jail I had been clean a couple days a time but would always find an excuse to get high again. I have been four days clean now. I want to get clean for myself but also for Andy too. Some days the doubt creeps in about how heroine addicts are too addicted and I will never reach sobriety, or that I will need inpatient. So that's what has brought me where I am today.
About a year and a half ago I started occasionally doing pills a 17. Once I met the boyfriend (Andy) I have now he introduced me to pure pills so the milligrams started to go up each time. Becoming more and more expensive. I did pills and was very new to the whole drug thing but Andy did heroine. Andy is 23 now so he quite a few years older than me and also started with pills until it got to expensive and switched to heroine . I wasn't okay with the fact that Andy did heroine and was too scared to try it myself, well for awhile. I didn't wanna spend tons of money each weekend on pills so eventually I tried heroine. I immediately fell in love with the high. I switch from pills then to heroine. I would only mostly get high on the weekends with Andy but he had been doing heroine (not everyday) for probably a year. Then this summer Andy got a job over the road making really good money. So I would go and visit for a couple days at a time and we get high the whole time. Wasn't much else to do. So it had to pin down a time when I started snorting heroine everyday I would say it was then. So for the past about six months I have done heroine everyday. There were times we tried to stop but the withdrawals were too much. So we just continued to have to scrap toghether money to get the heroine to avoid the withdrawals. I've been arrested twice because of heroine once while I was seventeen but no charge. And the second time was on Jan 31st. The police were watching the house and pulled us over immediate after and found the heroine in my car. Andy said it was all his and took the fall for it to protect me but I still spent two days in jail. Also my car was kept by the cops. Andy was already on probation before this so is now in pretty big trouble. This was rock bottom for us there was non more hiding the fact that we were heroine addicts. He is now in treatment but will eventually have to do jail time. After jail I had been clean a couple days a time but would always find an excuse to get high again. I have been four days clean now. I want to get clean for myself but also for Andy too. Some days the doubt creeps in about how heroine addicts are too addicted and I will never reach sobriety, or that I will need inpatient. So that's what has brought me where I am today.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,428
Hi and welcome Taylor
I moved one of your threads here for more response.
I don't have any personal experience with heroin, but I know you'll find support and understanding here
My own personal view is that there is life after addict5ion, if you're prepared to find enough support and to make changes in your life that reflect your desire to be clean and sober
It's tough initially but that where the support from places like SR comes in
D
I moved one of your threads here for more response.
I don't have any personal experience with heroin, but I know you'll find support and understanding here
My own personal view is that there is life after addict5ion, if you're prepared to find enough support and to make changes in your life that reflect your desire to be clean and sober
It's tough initially but that where the support from places like SR comes in
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Cincinnati
Posts: 103
Taylor ((hugs)) Congrats to 4 days been clean and I'm so glad that I came across your post because when I read your words I could totally relate to your story.
As an recovering heroin addict myself It truly reminded me & my relationship with my boyfriend our situations are very similar. Hang in there and if you ever want to talk feel free to message me on here.
As an recovering heroin addict myself It truly reminded me & my relationship with my boyfriend our situations are very similar. Hang in there and if you ever want to talk feel free to message me on here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Souris, PEI
Posts: 50
Well the first step is really a desire to be clean, so you have taken that. I don't understand why a judicial system would put someone in jail after a recovery program, thats like the last place a recovering addict should go. Where do you get support there ? you must really encourage your boyfriends lawyer that if he is successful there is a thing called a suspended sentence where if you don't mess up you stay free you mess up you go to jail.
As for you I would definitely try to go to treatment. You may not see it now but there is a wonderful life for you out there. I will pray you find your way.
I had 16 years in from heroin where I was literally living on the street, in and out of jail about 10 years then one day I can remember is clear as rain I was sitting in an alley getting ready to do my thing and I realized I didn't want to be there, I was better then this, my family didn't raise me to lose me like this. I went straight to the detox center and was like a miracle there was a bed available I was taken in straight away and my life was magic for 16 years, my family loved me again, I traveled then I was involved in a major motor vehicle accident cracked some of the vertebra in my neck. I was put on hydromorphon and well here I am today trying to get to where I was. You can do it. I am dying here but will not leave the house until I am strong.
Best of Luck to both of you
As for you I would definitely try to go to treatment. You may not see it now but there is a wonderful life for you out there. I will pray you find your way.
I had 16 years in from heroin where I was literally living on the street, in and out of jail about 10 years then one day I can remember is clear as rain I was sitting in an alley getting ready to do my thing and I realized I didn't want to be there, I was better then this, my family didn't raise me to lose me like this. I went straight to the detox center and was like a miracle there was a bed available I was taken in straight away and my life was magic for 16 years, my family loved me again, I traveled then I was involved in a major motor vehicle accident cracked some of the vertebra in my neck. I was put on hydromorphon and well here I am today trying to get to where I was. You can do it. I am dying here but will not leave the house until I am strong.
Best of Luck to both of you
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Western NY
Posts: 1,209
No one is ever 'too addicted' to recover. Pain is an excellent motivator. There are loads of people that I know who used for decades that are now in long-term recovery. I used pills for about 8 years and heroin for 4 years. Right now, I have a little over 18 months clean.
Four days clean is a great accomplishment. The first four days were always the roughest for me. Congrats.
What is your plan going forward?
Four days clean is a great accomplishment. The first four days were always the roughest for me. Congrats.
What is your plan going forward?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Welcome to the forum, Taylor. You've found a good place. Sorry for wat has brought you here. But, I am glad you found it and it's good you want to get clean now instead of waiting years and years to do so. You can do this. Heroin will ruin your life eventually, if you don't stop. Addiction just requires more and more out of you; never satisfied. Temporary fix. The flesh is never satisfied. But there is something much more sustaining; more fulfilling in life-and that is peace within. And, when you have peace within you also have peace with the world around you. I think we all just want true peace; not the artificial peace getting high makes you feel that is so fleeting. Never lose hope. Hope will help sustain you even in the tougher times.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 147
hey welcome i actually got arrested and placed in drug court for heroin... it ruined my life and after two years clean i relapsed back on day 31 now but once u have the true honest desire to stop there are the steps in NA that did miracles for me ... once i stopped working a program i failed once a gain.... recovery is a life long process that we do one day at a time... just realize everyday that using will make things worse .... dont give in make a commitment and never renegotiate it again... ur going to have to want it... and great ur on day 4 ur past the hardest of the withdrawals itll only get better from now on i was feeling great by day 5 and better a little each day sleep will come and just dont use and things will improve feel free to pm me anytime if u want to talk i believe in u and u can do this
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Souris, PEI
Posts: 50
Thanks godsdrummer and I agree inpatient is an excellent option.
Here is the thing in my active addiction many times I said I wanted to quit only because of the consequences of using, like a guy being sorry for stealing only because he was caught, you really need to want this.
Its not easy I had a rough evening but kept telling myself day 5 will be better day 5 will be better, so in an hour I hit the sack and pray to all the God's to have mercy on me and let me sleep the night.
I am 46 years old I outlived so many friends, its heart breaking. I want to live free, I don't want to leave this world a slave to addiction,
Here is the thing in my active addiction many times I said I wanted to quit only because of the consequences of using, like a guy being sorry for stealing only because he was caught, you really need to want this.
Its not easy I had a rough evening but kept telling myself day 5 will be better day 5 will be better, so in an hour I hit the sack and pray to all the God's to have mercy on me and let me sleep the night.
I am 46 years old I outlived so many friends, its heart breaking. I want to live free, I don't want to leave this world a slave to addiction,
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