SmallAnon

Hello, new here... I've been doing coke on and off for a few years now. However, over the past few months, things have taken a really dark and scary turn. All of a sudden, I'm doing it alone, all night... At least a gram, sometimes more. This past week marks 4 nights and now I feel like a worthless person. I went to a 24 hour clinic today because I was worried I might be having a heart attack. I wasn't, but I was told how much havoc I was causing my body... Like I didn't already know. So completely embarrassing.... I'm losing a lot of my friends, my family lives far away and we aren't really in touch so they have no idea. I went to a friend's this morning after the clinic and told him how bad it's gotten... Now I'm sitting on his couch researching recovery options... But I don't want to burden him or bring him or my other friends into my problem. The only reason I told him is because I live alone and realized I did to much, and got worried for my own health.

I'm incredibly depressed and I'm really in need of some support. Please help.

OpioPhobe

SmallAnon - welcome to SR and welcome to recovery. Do you have a plan on how to get through the day clean?

heartcore

This is a double posting. Smallanon also posted it in the newcomers forum & got many many responses.

I'll pm a moderator...

kasperwhite

I'm in a similar situation and your post makes me feel not alone. Thank You for sharing!

heartcore

kasperwhite - if you put "cocaine is ruining" in the search box you can find everyone's answers to this post in Newcomers Forum (3rd down in my search...)

Steadwell

In my own experience with the stuff, when i ran out of money and removed myself from the circle of people that were associated with it, i just quit. No physical withdrawal only psychological - nothing that a benadryl couldn't fix.

Getting away from that stuff was one of the best things that ever happened to me. The weakness for it is still there and always will be, so I steer clear of places and people where it prevails. I know how powerful it is, it made me lose all interest in alcohol, which is really saying something.

I feel what your going through, try to put it behind you.

heartcore

Ps. It takes a few months for the brain to rebalance. It is hard work. It's ok to be sleepy.

Justme12

Currently battling with this drug, 3grams each session 3 to 4 times a week atleast. I cant offer you advice cause i cant take any myself, just know youre not alone, best of luck to you.

Mountainmanbob

I ended up in the ER because of coke a time or two.
The stuff was hard on my heart -- now in A-Fib.
Been almost 20 years since I touched the powder.
You can leave it behind as many, many have.
M-Bob

AnvilheadII

i didn't think i could get off crack cocaine....the grip seemed so enormous and all consuming. but the truth was as long as i THOUGHT i couldn't quit......i couldn't. it wasn't nearly as hard to actually DO IT as i had built up in my head. hell the whole thing was a mind****

We CAN and DO recover. from all sorts of stuff. my husband was a 20 year + addict.....even i wasn't sure HE could quit and STAY quit. but here we are............8 something years later.

AlwysConflicted

Your post hit home, I know exactly how you feel. My binges eventually caused my septum to collapse and even after I was still using until my nose started visibly slumping. I look back and think how could i have let it get that far? I also look back and consider myself damn lucky that my nose stopped me before something else did. I used to mix C with beta blockers and i think back to how dangerous it was and i feel damn lucky. The more u binge, the more depressed and less willing you are to help yourself until you have to. Its really fantastic you were looking up support today - good on you! But follow through - the alternative is this right now, every day, how you feel. I wish u all the best