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Dealing with a coworker with past drug issues, am I being too hard on her?



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Dealing with a coworker with past drug issues, am I being too hard on her?

Old 10-05-2016, 03:57 PM
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Dealing with a coworker with past drug issues, am I being too hard on her?

I work in a retail beauty supply store.
We have a 20-year-old girl who has been working here for about a month. She has bipolar disorder, PTSD from a "sexual trauma" that happened to her two years ago, ADHD and who knows what else. She goes to an IOP class three times a week. She says it's for her "trauma" but I wonder if it's for drug addiction.
Her mom keeps her on a really short leash. They share a car, so her mom always drops her off and picks her up. In addition to this, her mom comes into the store regularly, usually it's to bring her daughter something. The last time it was to bring her cigarettes, even though she doesn't like her smoking.
Wednesday of last week, her mom pulled the car up to the curb in front of the store to drop her off for her shift. I could see that they were in the car arguing. The girl finally came in sobbing crying, clocked in, and went to the back.
A few minutes later she told me how her mother had forced her and her boyfriend to break up, how her mother went to her boyfriend's mom's workplace and threatened to file a restraining order against him.
She says her mom doesn't trust her ever since her "trauma"...she was raped and sexually molested by her drug dealer when she was a freshman in college.
I have no idea if she's still using drugs. She makes me nervous because I feel like she might steal.
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Old 10-05-2016, 04:04 PM
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Originally Posted by choublak View Post

I have no idea if she's still using drugs. She makes me nervous because I feel like she might steal.
Seems that at this time you have no proof for either of those thoughts ?

You might wish to keep (a little) eye on her but,
don't judge her until found guilty.

M-Bob
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Old 10-05-2016, 10:31 PM
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Do you own the store? Why don't you just tox her to see if she is using?

Did you put trauma in quotes because you think she is lying?
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Old 10-06-2016, 06:46 AM
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Originally Posted by OpioPhobe View Post
Do you own the store? Why don't you just tox her to see if she is using?

Did you put trauma in quotes because you think she is lying?
I don't own the store. We're corporate.

I put trauma in quotes because it seems more like she was having sex for drugs. I get that any rape is trauma regardless of who you were raped by, but being raped by your drug dealer means (to me) that the rape isn't the main issue here.
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Old 10-06-2016, 10:17 AM
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Just for argument's sake let's say she was prostituting (trading sex for drugs). I haven't been raped by a man nor have I traded sex for drugs. Have you? They both seem like traumatic situations to me. The women I know that have been through those situations are TOTALLY ****** up in the head over it.

To answer your question, I think you are being judgmental and meddling in someone else's business. It sounds like her life is already ****** up enough.

Have you thought about ways you could help her? Maybe give her numbers of a friend in recovery? Maybe invite her to church?
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Old 10-06-2016, 01:27 PM
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She sounds like a lost, traumatized young lady who is trying to find her way....you know, there are many rape victims out there who DON'T TALK ABOUT IT...so we might never know if someone we are interacting with has been raped or not. Nor do we really know who might steal something or not. Stealing may not be her 'vice'. Good to be aware, I guess, and, when she's at work maybe try to encourage her to focus on the job and hook her up to getting help. She's pretty young. I'm thinking she felt comfortable CONFIDING in you....and that tells us something right there....many rape and sexual abuse victims have major TRUST issues...
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Old 10-23-2016, 08:17 PM
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Do they have IOP for rape trauma?
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Old 10-24-2016, 04:24 AM
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Originally Posted by choublak View Post
Do they have IOP for rape trauma?
Many of the Substance Abuse IOP programs are integrating trauma treatment into their programming. This is coming out of evidence based practices that show a correlation between trauma and the problematic usage of alcohol and drugs.

Either way, I can understand why you are confused and concerned, you dont have an understanding of addiction, obviously havent been through this personally. The best thing you can do is to encourage her be supportive etc. If she begins using again, there will be enough signs and her life will become unmanageable in significant ways, or she just wont show up for work anymore. In the meantime, dont set her up to fail by looking for reasons not to trust her, give her a chance.
She may just surprise you and become the best and most trustworthy employee that store has ever seen!
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Old 10-24-2016, 11:33 AM
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I agree with Oooona. (love that nickname, btw) .

I don't if this young is currently in any kind of counseling, but fact that she in a sense came clean with you about her past indicates to me she is not trying to "hide" that from you. Being honest and open are good things. Many addicts do not divulge that information. She definitely needs counseling for the rape. Ideally with someone who specializes in that. Many rape victims can sort of be traumatized again, for example when they are physically examined by Dr.'s and nurses after the rape. They can feel like they are re-living it.
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Old 10-24-2016, 03:12 PM
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Maybe I missed it, but did she report the rape to the authorities?

Some rape victims are afraid to report it.

In other cases, the rape victim reports it and the cops may ask her if she wants to press charges and rape victim will decline. Why is that?

Well, part of the reason why is they are afraid of the perpetrator. And, their safety is likely not guaranteed if the perpetrator wants vindication.

Another reason they don't report and don't press charges is because for some reason they feel ashamed, probably because it is a crime that's sexual in nature. Another reason is if/when they report it they feel like they are "re-living" it.

So, I don't know where your co-worker is on that.
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Old 10-28-2016, 06:36 AM
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Originally Posted by teatreeoil007 View Post
Maybe I missed it, but did she report the rape to the authorities?
I don't know if she reported it to the authorities, but she did tell me her mother doesn't like her talking about it even to other relatives.
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Old 12-10-2016, 06:29 PM
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I would be heart broken if someone thought I must be a thief just because I struggle with addiction. Not all addicts are thiefs, and I think the ones that are are probably that much more desperate and broken and crying out for help much more than most. What addicts need are compasion and understanding. We aren't bad people, we are sick people. Someone with a major disease and medical bills piling up is probably just as likely to steal, but people wouldn't look at them and say "oh watch out for that cancer lady, she's bound to clean us out." Just my opinion.
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