please help

[tammera]

Hi all....
I was a recovering addict with 12 years clean.....
"was"
I started having migraine headaches about 3 years ago and they progressivly got worse until I had a headache every day
I saw doctors Neorologists etc etc and none knew what to do
I was sent to a pain managment clinic and they gave me nerve block shots into my ocipital nerve and along with that gave me percocet and told me to use them because the pain would increase before it got better. That of course was the begining of the end. I have been progressivly taking these pills for about 10 months now and I have known I have been hooked on them for about the last 8 months. I told my doctor at the last vist "I am physically addicted to these pills" He raised the acetiminophene in them. <sigh>
So I have been on 10/625's or 650's I dont remember how much they are..and way I have been on them now for about 10 months and been taking about 4-6 a day. I of course am out of the pills and cannot get the script refilled until next week. I have 7 left and I thought ok great this is the time I can detox myself off this crap but the physical syptoms are BRUTAL! I was never a pill popper in active addiction before and god now I know what they go through! I am REALLY not wanting to tell my recovering friends cause I don't want all the drama that goes along with the fact that someone with 12 years clean has relapsed. I don't know about your NA areas but mine is kinda small and does not have a lot of people with long amounts of clean time. Not that I actually have any now .....well you kow what I mean.


I have enough pills to take 1 a day for the next week...I was thinking that this will help some of the physical withdrawl. But to go from 4-6 to 1 the physical stuff is still pretty bad.
I am at work and I feel like I am going to CRAWL or JUMP out of my skin.

<sigh>
thanks for listening....

[SysFixer]

Hi Tammera,
As bad as it seems, the withdrawl from 4-6 pills a day won't last that long. I was taking about 800 mg of oxy a day, that's equal to 80 of your pills. Now that's withdrawl. Everyone is different but the worst should be over in a few days. It's been my experience that it's just better to STOP. Taking one or 2 a day will just delay the inevitable. You were sober for 12 years so you can do this! I know you can! Take the weekend to relax, you'll probably want to sleep more than usual. Keep posting, there's lots of help here.

[abtchonamission]

I get migraine headaches. My doctor prescribed amitriptyline, which is for nerve pain, insomnia, and mental depression. It is relatively harmless in the big picture - no street value, low risk of addiction, and all the other things the doctors say. I take 50mg at bedtime, within about 2 weeks of starting the prescription, my headaches were greatly reduced, within a month, very rare. (I had at least one a week, sometimes lasting 4-5 days). There are also other medications to prevent them. I don't have any pain meds for these headaches, and truthfully, with the meds I do take, I rarely need anything stronger than Excedrin Migraine.

I don't understand enough about addiction to advise you about how to handle that, but you said you've been there before, and there are plenty of people here who can give advice, as I'm sure you know. I just wanted to let you know that there are alternatives to pain meds for these headaches that WORK. (Just so you'll know, I had migraines for 13 YEARS, with doctors telling me that it was my imagination. My new doctor knew absolutely NOTHING about treating migraines, and spoke to my doctor in Massachusetts before re-prescribing when I moved down south. Doctors don't seem to pay a lot of attention to migraines, at least not enough to help. The other thing that works for me, is a couple of times I went to the emergency room HOPING for something to make the headache go away - the doctor gave me IV fluids, and composine...it takes away the nausea, and somehow when you get rid of the nausea, the pain goes too.....

Trisha

[tammera]

jesus thats a lot!
yeah I will keep posting here
I need to summon up the courage to pick up a white keytag
I am really not wanting to go to treatment.....maybe denial
but hell I used to teach the classes in a treatment center. I sort of know what I need to do. It is a matter of making the choice to DO IT!

I am such a dope.......
I suffered from the "I am different than those addicts" syndrome <sigh> and now here I am addicted to pills and scared to tell anyone cause they will force me to go to detox and treatment.

Thnanks for your post I really appreciate the response <hug>. It is feeling a little lonely these days until I tell my sponsor and support folks whats "really" been going on with me.

And only a FEW days thank god!!!! for the the hope!

[tammera]

I have amitriptyline, I guess I better start taking it. I got on my high horse before I ended up hooked on the percs...and read about the drug before I would take it and it sounded like a sleeping pill so I refused to take it. You know ..I was in recovery and didn't want to be taking sleeping pills....
god how ironic is that

[AddictionAddict]

I can't even recall how many times I have gone through withdrawal. I usually end up taking at least twice what you are taking, and it usually only lasts about 3 days. It is a bad 3 days, but I honestly think you should be through it quickly, and without too much suffering because of the small amounts. My friend just got off and he was taking more than 30 a day 5/325's and it lasted about 4 days of pure hell.

I wish you all the luck in the world. Remember for the future though, once you've been hooked on opiates, you are ALWAYS going to be vulnerable. Well, that is my experience with it anyways.

Mark

[abtchonamission]

The amitriptyline will make you feel sleepy until your body adjusts to it (about 2 weeks for me) but will even out as time passes. I believe that was why my doctor said 'at bedtime.' It does work for me, and the headaches do stop almost completely within a month. (Which means everything to me - they get so bad all I can do is lie in the dark contemplating shaving my head because even my hair hurts.)

Trisha

[mickdel]

Hi Tammera

Im an addict and alco. Dihydrocodeine was my downfall - although I took other things as well. I was clean from april when I did a 6wk rehab until three weeks ago, when I had a relapse (over 3days) when i discovered a supply of DFs etc in a relatives house when I was visiting. To the point - my experience of withdrawal in rehab was nasty. I did a lofexidine detox for 2 wks - but the next 3 wks were hell. Not a single nights sleep, which you know is the big payback for taking opiates. Don't try to do it cold turkey - maybe ask your doctor for a home detox script? I would have if I had known they were available before I went into the rehab. Cold turkey isnt worth it. Why suffer needlessly? I wouldnt worry about coming out with your relapse - it might just encourage your peers to get more into the programme as it will be a good example of how easy it is to relapse on these damn things. I hope you feel better soon

Hugs

Mick

[mickdel]

forgot about this - i was on this for a few months to try and stop fibromyalgia pain. It was good. Its an anti depressant at 75mg and above, but lower for pain relief. Non addictive and i had no problems coming off it. I was told to take it at night as well as it helped sleep. It leaves a horrible taste in the mouth if you dont take it with water!

[abtchonamission]

Originally Posted by mickdel

It leaves a horrible taste in the mouth if you dont take it with water!

Ain't that the truth!!!

[Stargirl]

tammera
I can relate to your withdrawl experience. I was not on a percocet prescription but my main drug of choice was oxycontin. When I couldnt get this I would take anything from vicodin to loratabs and so on. When I first went through the w/d process I felt completely horrible. I couldnt eat, sleep, sit still, move, or function normally for about a week. After that I still felt a little weird but somewhat normal to the point where I could function like a human being. The only problem I had was that I still couldnt sleep. I dont think I slept normally for over a month or two. Not everyone is like this but that was just my experience. I hope you dont feel the same. I dont believe you will though because my mom was also addicted to vicodin because she had a heel spur in both feet so she was on the same road you are on. SHe didnt have the withdrawls like I did and not nearly as long either. I used to tell her that I wished I was only on vicodin because oxy is such a strong med. it is almost unbearable to come off of cold turkey...but I did it. I had a little help though...2 tablets of 5mg methadone that helped me through 2 days but like I said, the w/d symptoms lasted way longer than that. Just hang in there and stay strong. Keep telling yourself you can do it and you'd rather live your life instead of worrying whether or not you have enough pills to get you through the month without going through hell each time! -star-

[wishIsedNO]

My DOC was heroin...I would do between 4-10 a day depending on how much money i could get...It took 6 yrs for me to get clean..Im 23 now and been on methadone for almost 3 yrs...Im looking to get off but i havent been sick in so long im scared to be even alittle uncomfortable.....So i still know what its like to fear the SICKNESS...But as we know the sickness aint the BIG problem..Its the days after we got over the damned witdrawal that usually brings us back to using...Our minds drive us crazy...
Anyways the reason i am writing is i never done pills except when i was 15 and was popping and cushing up muscle relaxers and pain meds my friends mom had in her bathroom cabinet...But i never got addicted to them..To me pills were a kiddie drug..the housewives drug for people who were afraid to do the real crap...But this past 2 years i learned different because my BF of 3 yrs got methadone with me but wasnt ready to completely stop getting high..When he couldnt feel the dope no more because the meth blocked it..he began taking BENZOs those are ugly habits..And now i truely believe there worse then a heroin habit...Because you cant die of a heroin withdrawal..You might wanna kill yourself but you wont be at risk...But when my Bf got hooked on xanax and elavils..and catapress..plus his 90 mg of methadone...Gosh if he didnt have any he would go through horrible seizures..And then while he be taking them he would forget things within a minute of telling him something..So he would take 2 sticks and then nod off then he would awake and think he didnt take any..Even though he hardly could keep his eyes open...He ended up in a coma twice cause he over took them..It was a year and half of pure hell..To the point i begged him to stop them and if he needed to get high go back on heroin...But thankgod after his 4th rehab stay in a year he stopped..and has been clean for 9 months..And i hope i dont ever see him go back...Now when i hear people looking to try to get high and think about taking xanax or any pill i tell them you should really rethink that..Because even when my man would come out and he would usually be away for a month...he still wouldnt be normal for another 2 months...Cause pills take a long time to leave your system totally..He would come home still shaky..I felt like he was 80 yrs old not 22 yrs old...He use to walk funny also when he be first clean..and he would studder..I know him for 4 yrs and he never studdered...Until he took them benzos...So i know how you guys feel...I think you should come clean and go into rehab...Its like taking off a bandaide..Im sure you think no one knows but im sure everyone either knows or suspects somethings up with you...Us addicts think we get over but we dont...You can tell when someone is doing something..It aint like you in a room full of people who never touched anything in there lives...When you in a room full of addicts they can spot someone who fell off the wagon a mile away..At least i know i could..Theres a girl in my program and she swears she still clean...even celebrated her clean time and all..But we see her all the time copping pills when her scripts run out after 2 weeks of getting them...and she pops pills like candy..she'll be doing a M.A. group and be nodding half way in the middle...And i know she thinks we dont see...But c'mon we aint got off the boat yesturday...So im sure when you come clean they will welcome you and say we been waiting for you to come to terms with it a while...And going into rehab aint the worst..It will help you get over this the right way..the longer you try and run from it and get over by yourself you just delaying your recovery time..I know i use to try my hardest not to have to go to detox and rehabs..Cause i hated feeling locked up and having to take showers in them disgusting shower stalls..and all them weird people that you know you cant trust...For me it was hard thats why im in a meth program...But for some it works..All i know is we all cant do it by ourselves..My prayers are with you...Jackie

[Lang79]

Believe it or not you getting off the meth is the best thing, I was on meth also, you wouldn't believe how much healthlier and better I feel. If you want send me a PM and I'll tell you how I got through the detox.
Monica