Go Back  SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > Drug Addiction > Substance Abuse
Reload this Page >

Jails, institutions and death--I made a big mistake



Notices

Jails, institutions and death--I made a big mistake

Old 11-24-2015, 05:40 PM
  # 161 (permalink)  
RIP Maria
 
Tiredofdrugs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: AR
Posts: 7,654
Lyoness!

The doctor's are being cautious now in what patients they accept! Their necks are on the line more and more with the way the drugs are being watched and distributed! So it's not you specifically that is constantly being denied.

I wish you'd QUIT cutting yourself down and look at the REASON(S) you are in this predicament! You broke the Law! It doesn't matter who you are. What color you are! What life you live or have been thru! You broke the Law! That's what it boils down to! So get mad at yourself for that reason ONLY! You did it once before and thought you could get by with it again! You got caught this time though!

I have to question your reason though! Was it your addiction or your PTSD that made you do it? There are multiple ways to take yourself out? Did you take the entire amount of pills you got or just some of them? Did you want some left over in case you woke up so you could take them? I keep trying to get you to look at how often you talk about your addiction! Moreso than the PTSD!

Your addiction could also be why you're PTSD is taking hold of you? I know I've never been in a good place mentally when I was popping pills! I haven't read too many stories on SR where anybody was in a good mental place while using their DOC either!

I'm glad you had someone to go with you too! And thank goodness you got a female judge! Woot! Woot!

TOD
Tiredofdrugs is offline  
Old 11-24-2015, 08:52 PM
  # 162 (permalink)  
Night owl
Thread Starter
 
Lyoness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
TOD, I'm not 100% sure what you're asking but I'll try to answer. My motivation for doing what I did was to try to get enough extra pills to kill myself with. That was all I felt, all I thought, was totally focused on ending my life.

I did obviously fail. A couple times I fell asleep before I could take enough medicine. I suppose somewhere in my mind I might have been thinking to save some in case I failed. Suicidal Depression was the catalyst, the reason for why I did what I did.

Because years ago when I was shooting and snorting the oxy, dilaudid and morphine and had altered scripts to get more, I remembered that while suicidal I tried it again.

I guess that is why I feel I've suffered enough. Being depressed and suicidal enough to do what I did feels like already being punished. You've said you can't speak to, don't understand and have no experience with this kind of mental illness. So all I can say is being in that much pain is punishment enough. Losing my doctor, losing my friend, losing my self worth all feel like punishment enough.

Having all of that plus the legal issues feels like overkill. I didn't hurt anyone,I didn't try to hurt anyone. I did try leave this endless, ongoing pain. I don't think I deserve punishment for already being punished every day of my life.

And clearly you disagree and believe I do deserve punishment. I believe in the spirit of the law and having it be based in reality, compassion, humanity. And it sounds lime you believe in the letter of the law, no exception, no taking into account a person's experiences, no room for punishment already served.

My former doctor and even lawyer, and others feel I have already suffered enough. What good or purpose does it serve to further punish someone like me?

I didn't do it to score drugs, to get high, to sell them. I just wanted out.

So maybe we'll just have to agree to disagree. If I could I would change the whole injustice system. I would get treatment for drug crimes and mental illness crimes
Not just for me but everyone. Cuz the system we have now is only making things worse. People get mote time in jail for possession than for raping children. That is f***** up. And those victims will grow up mentally ill and try to esse their pain through drugs. I just honestly believe the whole system is messed up and feeds the addiction and mental illness in our communities. It certainly
Lyoness is offline  
Old 11-24-2015, 09:06 PM
  # 163 (permalink)  
Night owl
Thread Starter
 
Lyoness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Trying to erase a double post. Third try, hope it will let me.
Lyoness is offline  
Old 11-24-2015, 09:07 PM
  # 164 (permalink)  
Member
 
venuscat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,024
Lyoness ~ I wish there was a way to help you believe that things can get better.
I know that in that very darkest place, it is hard to find hope.

One thing I can tell you is that I am very glad I 'failed' when I tried to leave this world...I would never have known the freedom I feel now. I would never have known this feeling of calm, and I would never have believed that life would be a joyous place for me.

That doesn't mean I don't have problems; I have some doozies, but I can cope much better now. Things really can improve as long as we don't give up.
venuscat is online now  
Old 11-24-2015, 09:23 PM
  # 165 (permalink)  
RIP Maria
 
Tiredofdrugs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: AR
Posts: 7,654
Well! You just took everything I said to you and turned it around into a negative thing! I've been supportive this whole time and I'm all of a sudden treated like someone that's out to get you!

I asked you more questions to try and get a better picture of what happened!

And as far as you saying I believe in the letter of the Law! No exceptions? I guess you forgot the post I wrote early on in the beginning of this Thread? I got several clean slates along the way after seeing the Judge!

You're really volatile right now and I'm going to step out of this!

TOD
Tiredofdrugs is offline  
Old 11-24-2015, 09:27 PM
  # 166 (permalink)  
Night owl
Thread Starter
 
Lyoness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Originally Posted by venuscat View Post
Lyoness ~ I wish there was a way to help you believe that things can get better.
I know that in that very darkest place, it is hard to find hope.

One thing I can tell you is that I am very glad I 'failed' when I tried to leave this world...I would never have known the freedom I feel now. I would never have known this feeling of calm, and I would never have believed that life would be a joyous place for me.

That doesn't mean I don't have problems; I have some doozies, but I can cope much better now. Things really can improve as long as we don't give up.
Thank you for your kind words and sharing your experience.

I hear what you are saying, I do. Its just I have no hope. I feel everything is closing in on me, drowning me, choking me, suffocating me in darkness. I see no out, nuts more pain and punishment everywhere.
Lyoness is offline  
Old 11-24-2015, 09:29 PM
  # 167 (permalink)  
Member
 
kzaug2014's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
Posts: 1,318
I'm w/Venuscat. Yrs ago I nearly succeeded trying to commit suicide. I got into my mother's "pill bag" ( she was on a lot of different narcotics ) & I took them all...over 500 of them. The doctors told my family I wouldn't live & to call our minister. But, in the 11th hr., a specialist was aeromeded to me & saved my life.

I'm so thankful today that I didn't succeed. But, I wouldn't have believed it back then. No sir, I thought my life was **** & didn't think there was anything to live for.

I know you don't believe in God, but I do, so I'm going to pray for you.

((( Hugs )))
kzaug2014 is offline  
Old 11-24-2015, 10:02 PM
  # 168 (permalink)  
Night owl
Thread Starter
 
Lyoness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Originally Posted by Tiredofdrugs View Post
Well! You just took everything I said to you and turned it around into a negative thing! I've been supportive this whole time and I'm all of a sudden treated like someone that's out to get you!

I asked you more questions to try and get a better picture of what happened!

And as far as you saying I believe in the letter of the Law! No exceptions? I guess you forgot the post I wrote early on in the beginning of this Thread? I got several clean slates along the way after seeing the Judge!

You're really volatile right now and I'm going to step out of this!

TOD
I'm sorry you feel upset. I do and have appreciated your support. But I also felt hurt by your post. I thought I'd been clear all along about what happened and reiterated it. I also took what you said as if I wAs wrong somehow in feeling already punished. It sounded like you felt differently and that did confuse me based on your other posts.

I hope we can clarify what each of us was saying so there is no misunderstanding. But I will honor your need to step away if that is what you want to do.
Lyoness is offline  
Old 11-24-2015, 10:29 PM
  # 169 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 357
Hey Lyoness. You did it, you got through the hearing, you had some support, that is HUGE. You are still here and still fighting. Yes I know you feel scared and incapable but that is just a feeling, it is not YOU.

What are the options they are looking at? What are the choices you have?
Startingover444 is offline  
Old 11-24-2015, 10:36 PM
  # 170 (permalink)  
RIP Maria
 
Tiredofdrugs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: AR
Posts: 7,654
Lyoness!

You know I care about you?

I'm a straight talker! When I get something in my head about a situation? I ask questions. It's not to say you are a worthless person or that you don't deserve a break!

I didn't recall you fully explaining what happened when you got the extra pills. That's why I asked: "What happened? How did you take the action(s) in taking the pills?" A person wanting to commit suicide would have taken the entire contents! It wouldn't have been some here and there! Like KZ said: "She took 500 pills!" She wasn't taking any chances of waking up from them! So I was wondering how you went about it!

Yes I know you're suffering! Yes I know you're scared of the whatif's! What I tried to get you to realize is you broke the Law! That's not something you're going to be allowed to walk away from! You've got to answer for that! If I went out tomorrow forged a script and got caught? I'd be going thru the same thing you're going thru!

It does sound like your Counselor is doing everything she can legally to help you! That's more than most will do!

I didn't mean to hurt you! That truly wasn't my intentions! I was sitting here with questions swirling around in my head and I asked them! It's like me sitting here in front of you, leaning forward with my hands clasped together talking with you! Asking you about things!

Hope this clears up some of the doubt you have in my intentions?

TOD
Tiredofdrugs is offline  
Old 11-24-2015, 11:10 PM
  # 171 (permalink)  
Night owl
Thread Starter
 
Lyoness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Thanks TOD, it does help. This is the challenge with writing sometimes, we can't see facial expressions or hear intonation. I was trying to answer honestly without my upset feelings coming through but obviously didn't do so well either.
I took what you said as criticism and that's why I got so upset.

So I'll try to answer from a now calmer place. It is hard to talk about, there are so many feelings of shame, etc. that it can make me feel vulnerable saying . Also not sure how much detail is okay to say on SR.

But what happened is I have tried to research what would be a successful and available way for me to exit. I don't have the means for certain ways (I.e.weapons or knowledge. ) I also wAnted to avoid as much pain as possible and long lasting damage if I failed. (Here's where I'm not sure what's okay to post so will not get too detailed. ) Basically I did make attempts, I failed at them, worst effects were just feeling sh**** for a few days.

And yes, I think I also fell prey to that idea of saving some in case I failed. That's not logical, but people trying to kill themselves are not having access to all of their knowledge or experience or logic. I also think whatever part(s) of me that wanted to live sabotaged my attempts. There are wAy more attempts than successful suicides. It's not an easy thing to do, even if it's what you want overwhelmingly.

As for the legal stuff, I know I broke the law. I just question is it better to handle a situAtion like mine and so many others the way it is or can we find other solutions,like what Portugal has done. I guess I also feel that it wasn't my intent to hurt anyone and would hope that would be taken into account. Have to talk, more to my lawyer about this.

So I hope I was able to answer your questions and respectfully. I value your friendship and don't want misunderstandings to get in the way.
Lyoness is offline  
Old 11-24-2015, 11:40 PM
  # 172 (permalink)  
RIP Maria
 
Tiredofdrugs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: AR
Posts: 7,654
Well you know me? I like to pick things to pieces to get to the answer in the middle of things. My Mom says I'm like a dog with a bone! Worrying it to death! You know how a dog will chew on a bone from one end to the next? Trying to get to the center of it! That would be me! Well you know me? I like to pick things to pieces to get to the answer in the middle of things. My Mom says I'm like a dog with a bone! Worrying it to death! You know how a dog will chew on a bone from one end to the next? Trying to get to the center of it! That would be me!

My mind is usually thinking faster than my fingers are typing! So I might hit and miss on things when I'm asking about stuff! Sorry about that! Don't mean to come off sounding rude and crude!

I think you already know if I'm going to chew on your azz about something? It's going to be done by private sources!

I found this site due to looking for someone to help me thru w/d's and the detoxing off the pain meds! I'm a recovering addict trying to help others. I'm not here to bash others for screwing up and getting addicted to things. If I don't understand why something has happened? I'm going to ask questions! The more I know about a situation? The more info I have to try and help that person with! If I don't know about something? I'm going to say so! Just like what you have going on Lyoness with your PTSD!

In that hoarding story about the Principle! The Therapist took him back to his school he worked at. She had gotten the letter from the police and had put it in the desk. She had him go to the desk and pull it out! And let me tell ya! This whole journey was a terrifying journey for this man. He wouldn't read the letter and she asked him if he wanted to tear it up? He tore it up into as many pieces as he could! He released himself from his terrors by doing that! He got his home cleaned up and started acting like the person he used to be! He found his release in order to live a normal life! You have to find your release from the past in order to live a normal life! I don't know what it is! Only you can figure that out! If it takes you making stick figures and putting the names of those men on each one then beating them with a bat to help you feel better? Then that's what it will be! You understand what I'm saying here?

I was married to two different abusive husbands! I left them in order to live a better life! If we stay in the same circle of thoughts and events? There will never be a change for the better!

I do understand how you took things the wrong way! I'm glad we cleared them up!

TOD
Tiredofdrugs is offline  
Old 11-24-2015, 11:48 PM
  # 173 (permalink)  
Night owl
Thread Starter
 
Lyoness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Originally Posted by Startingover444 View Post
Hey Lyoness. You did it, you got through the hearing, you had some support, that is HUGE. You are still here and still fighting. Yes I know you feel scared and incapable but that is just a feeling, it is not YOU.

What are the options they are looking at? What are the choices you have?
Another good reminder, that my feelings are not me or all of me. I, obviously, have an extremely difficult time doing this. And my feelings are strong, painful, chaotic, all over the place now. One reason I'd like to find an antidepressant that could help me stabilize enough to be able to try some of the tactics for changing the brain.

As far as legal options, like I posted above, my case is considered much more complex than the ones you would think would be complex. The lawyer says I have to prioritize what is most important to me, what aspects and results do I want most?

For instance that could be going to trial to explain the situation and why I made the choice I did, and to refute the inaccuracies and outright lies in the police report. But that would mean convincing a jury if my truth and motivation and experience which could be very difficult. Because the lAwyer thinks they'd use the police report against me and the DA would say I got suicidal AFTER getting the drugs (false) rather than being suicidal and getting the drugs to commit suicide with (true). And it could be grueling for me and further damage my mental health.

Then there is my state's version of not guilty by insanity. Except here it's guilty AND insane. So you still get the guilty plea and ruling. And a bureaucracy in the state capitol (about five hours away) can step in and really control your life, including forcing you to move to a new city, incarceration in a mental health facility and so on. I can't remember if your record is clean after that or not.

So neither of those options is looking good.

There are two that seem more plausible. One is to go to mental health court where the local mental health bureaucracy makes decisions for you including final say on all medications. That makes me nervous because I just started with a psychiatrist and want to keep working with her. Also, what if their meds don't work, make me sick or I otherwise can't take them? Does that mean I fail and remain GUILTY?

The positive side of that one is I would have nothing on my record at the end. I don't know how long of a process this is. I also don't know if my insurance would cover, I couldn't afford it otherwise.

Last option is asking DA to drop charges down to misdemeanor or maybe altogether. Because I have no criminal record this is feasible. I would basically just be put on probation and wait it out. I'd have fees to pay depending on what could get worked out in plea bargain. The main negative could be having a record, though a misdemeanor not a felony which could hopefully get expunged at some point. And having a record could theoretically close some doors to me.

So those are my main choices. I would appreciate any feedback, experiences, etc. that people would like to share. That is assuming anyone made it to the end of this post!

Lyoness is offline  
Old 11-25-2015, 12:25 AM
  # 174 (permalink)  
Night owl
Thread Starter
 
Lyoness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Originally Posted by Tiredofdrugs View Post
Well you know me? I like to pick things to pieces to get to the answer in the middle of things. My Mom says I'm like a dog with a bone! Worrying it to death! You know how a dog will chew on a bone from one end to the next? Trying to get to the center of it! That would be me! Well you know me? I like to pick things to pieces to get to the answer in the middle of things. My Mom says I'm like a dog with a bone! Worrying it to death! You know how a dog will chew on a bone from one end to the next? Trying to get to the center of it! That would be me!

My mind is usually thinking faster than my fingers are typing! So I might hit and miss on things when I'm asking about stuff! Sorry about that! Don't mean to come off sounding rude and crude!

I think you already know if I'm going to chew on your azz about something? It's going to be done by private sources!

I found this site due to looking for someone to help me thru w/d's and the detoxing off the pain meds! I'm a recovering addict trying to help others. I'm not here to bash others for screwing up and getting addicted to things. If I don't understand why something has happened? I'm going to ask questions! The more I know about a situation? The more info I have to try and help that person with! If I don't know about something? I'm going to say so! Just like what you have going on Lyoness with your PTSD!

In that hoarding story about the Principle! The Therapist took him back to his school he worked at. She had gotten the letter from the police and had put it in the desk. She had him go to the desk and pull it out! And let me tell ya! This whole journey was a terrifying journey for this man. He wouldn't read the letter and she asked him if he wanted to tear it up? He tore it up into as many pieces as he could! He released himself from his terrors by doing that! He got his home cleaned up and started acting like the person he used to be! He found his release in order to live a normal life! You have to find your release from the past in order to live a normal life! I don't know what it is! Only you can figure that out! If it takes you making stick figures and putting the names of those men on each one then beating them with a bat to help you feel better? Then that's what it will be! You understand what I'm saying here?

I was married to two different abusive husbands! I left them in order to live a better life! If we stay in the same circle of thoughts and events? There will never be a change for the better!

I do understand how you took things the wrong way! I'm glad we cleared them up!

TOD
I am glad we cleared things up, too. I also ask a lot of questions and and want to understand more. Our styles are probably somewhat different but also the same. I've caused misunderstandings too, well, I just did up there a few posts above.

But yeah, asking questions is the only way to learn something so it's a good thing.

I'm going to see if I can find that Hoarders episode. Exposure therapy is something that can be very successful in some cases. I would have to be careful and figure out how to go about it safely. Don't want to expose myself to pedophile/torturing priests! But I've had plenty of fantasies of doing this to them. And more.

I've wondered about going to the church where the worst abuse took place. Wondered if I even could go there. And doing something like taking a sledgehammer to the walls or just blowing the place up. Not highly legal activities but possibly very therapeutic.

When I did my really intensive therapy I sort of did that. My counselor had made a little tiny room, lined on all sides with red cushioning. And after our time together I would stay in there, equipped with a baseball bat and yell and scream and hit/bat the Cult, and my parents and all those evil abusers out of me. And I really did feel that I got a lot of them, their poison, their programming out of me. I also wrote thousands of pages, spewing that poison, getting it out of me. It was very cathartic and very healing. And very exhausting.

When I was through, well I hoped I was through for good. I'd spent eight years in therapy, the last couple super intensive and I just needed time away from it. I needed life that didn't include therapy for awhile. I still worked on myself but never that intensely again.

But I know healing, especially from this much stuff, is like that bloody onion, layer after layer after layer. Gotta deal with those layers when they come up. Or deny them. Or discover opiates and how they can numb you and those problems slip away from the surface for awhile.

And as much as I don't want to feel it or acknowledge it or accept it, I'm at another deep, intense, painful layer of onion. It was just such exhausting and all-consuming work last time and I haven't felt like I have the strength or energy or courage to do it anymore. I also don't have the support system. I need a therapist who has specialized training and takes my insurance and that isn't so easy. Especially as this is a small population area.

But if I'm to have a chance to survive I'm going to have to find new coping tools because I don't really have any anymore. Opiates were my last, best coping tool. And hiding away, hibernating in depression is another. And suicide is also a coping tool, it's always there as a possible out. Knowing that I have that choice can sometimes help me hang on. And sometimes make me want to leave. That may sound crazy but it's like this one thing I can always count on.

And, like you said, I need to find new releases. Last time it was yelling, screaming, batting those padded walls, exorcising the Cult, the devil, my father, the priests, their programming out of me.

Now I don't know what my releases would be. I have a feeling a lot of crying would be involved. I've never really grieved what's happened to me, I've avoided it because grief is miserable and frightening. But I have much to grieve including losing any chance at being loved or wanted by any family, the abuses, so much. It's a lot of grief and I'm afraid of drowning in it.

When I did the earlier work it was anger I was sitting on. I felt so much rage inside (while never showing it on the outside, I stuffed it and denied it) that I was literally afraid that if I felt it I might explode or implode the planet. That bat and those cushions and yelling til I was hoarse and hitting the walls til I was blistered really helped me safely let out and get rid of a lot of anger.

Right now trying to figure all this out on top of everything else feels SO overwhelming. That's why I am just hibernating. Trying to recover from all this stress, trying to hide from it. And maybe trying to rest up in order to face and meet these challenges.

I guess that's enough to bombard you with for now, eh?

(((TOD)))
Lyoness is offline  
Old 11-25-2015, 03:54 AM
  # 175 (permalink)  
Do your best
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Soberwolf is offline  
Old 11-25-2015, 08:05 AM
  # 176 (permalink)  
RIP Maria
 
Tiredofdrugs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: AR
Posts: 7,654
Lyoness!

Go get you a soft doll to hug and love on! Think of it as your inner child!

Your area IS really strange with it's court rulings! Maybe your Counselor can help you come up with which direction to go with? Mine was also reduced to a misdemeanor! Hopefully that's what will happen with yours?

Hugs!

TOD
Tiredofdrugs is offline  
Old 11-25-2015, 10:09 PM
  # 177 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 357
Originally Posted by Lyoness View Post
Another good reminder, that my feelings are not me or all of me. I, obviously, have an extremely difficult time doing this. And my feelings are strong, painful, chaotic, all over the place now. One reason I'd like to find an antidepressant that could help me stabilize enough to be able to try some of the tactics for changing the brain.

As far as legal options, like I posted above, my case is considered much more complex than the ones you would think would be complex. The lawyer says I have to prioritize what is most important to me, what aspects and results do I want most?

For instance that could be going to trial to explain the situation and why I made the choice I did, and to refute the inaccuracies and outright lies in the police report. But that would mean convincing a jury if my truth and motivation and experience which could be very difficult. Because the lAwyer thinks they'd use the police report against me and the DA would say I got suicidal AFTER getting the drugs (false) rather than being suicidal and getting the drugs to commit suicide with (true). And it could be grueling for me and further damage my mental health.

Then there is my state's version of not guilty by insanity. Except here it's guilty AND insane. So you still get the guilty plea and ruling. And a bureaucracy in the state capitol (about five hours away) can step in and really control your life, including forcing you to move to a new city, incarceration in a mental health facility and so on. I can't remember if your record is clean after that or not.

So neither of those options is looking good.

There are two that seem more plausible. One is to go to mental health court where the local mental health bureaucracy makes decisions for you including final say on all medications. That makes me nervous because I just started with a psychiatrist and want to keep working with her. Also, what if their meds don't work, make me sick or I otherwise can't take them? Does that mean I fail and remain GUILTY?

The positive side of that one is I would have nothing on my record at the end. I don't know how long of a process this is. I also don't know if my insurance would cover, I couldn't afford it otherwise.

Last option is asking DA to drop charges down to misdemeanor or maybe altogether. Because I have no criminal record this is feasible. I would basically just be put on probation and wait it out. I'd have fees to pay depending on what could get worked out in plea bargain. The main negative could be having a record, though a misdemeanor not a felony which could hopefully get expunged at some point. And having a record could theoretically close some doors to me.

So those are my main choices. I would appreciate any feedback, experiences, etc. that people would like to share. That is assuming anyone made it to the end of this post!

If it was me, I would try for the probation. Yes there are some downsides but not as long lasting or as stressful as the other options. You are certainly not insane so going to court I think would not be in your best interests. Plus it will keep this going for longer than you need.

Having a record may not close the doors you think. I think again the fear of the unknown is making things harder for you.

Ask your lawyer if you could continue to work with the psychiatrist you have. I would imagine the fact that you are willing and keen to work with a professional would be seen as favourable.

How long will it be before you know the outcome ? Can your lawyer push things forward to make it quicker?

Once again, I do feel as if this will not be as bad for you as you fear. I really do believe that
Startingover444 is offline  
Old 11-26-2015, 12:39 AM
  # 178 (permalink)  
Do your best
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Morning Lyoness best wishes today
Soberwolf is offline  
Old 11-28-2015, 12:47 PM
  # 179 (permalink)  
Night owl
Thread Starter
 
Lyoness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Today I go into the jail to be processed--fingerprinted and mugshot. Yet another awful, dehumanizing, terrifying thing to get through. I feel like this will never end. I know I made a mistake but I am the only one who has been hurt by it and keeps getting punished for it. That IS my life. That is why I am having such a hard time. I was always being punished just for breathing and that is how it feels now.

And it's so lonely having no f2f friends. It was not my addiction that drove them away, just me and my mental illness. It's been a pretty rotten couple of days. And now today I have to do this. I wish it would get better but I know it never will....

But I am once again asking for your positive thoughts sent my way to help me get through this wretched day. Please.
Lyoness is offline  
Old 11-28-2015, 02:56 PM
  # 180 (permalink)  
Member
 
kzaug2014's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
Posts: 1,318
Sending positive vibes your way, Lyoness...& praying for you. Just wanted you to know that all Christians aren't like those horrible excuses to humanity that raised you.
kzaug2014 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:47 AM.