Soberwolf

Glad it went well at the dentists StartingOver

IWalkTheLine

Hi
I would like some help, but I would be worried of wasting your time as im really finding it hard to quit. Within 16 hours of my last hit im throwing up and it just gets worse, thats without the psychological crap.

It stared off as prescription then N+ in between but they stopped working unless I took 60 odd, then I found a generic one in a big high street chemist that was
stronger. Also black market codeine in between.

IWalkTheLine

I findnit dificult using my phone for this which is why im keeping my posts short.

did you tape at all or just coldnturkey? Did you reduce before quitting? How did you overcome the psychological boredom when your too ill to do anything?

Thanks for taking time to reply, on top of all my problems I lost all my friends when I stopped drinking and street drugs, and have no family that I talk too, I have my girlfriend and dog but no one knows about my lro

IWalkTheLine

.....my problems, these posts keep sticking. Thanks for your time, maybe I'll type more on the weekend on my tablet.

beautifulpines

keep hanging on - you can do this - it takes time and will be painful - but so very worth it!

Startingover444

No time is ever wasted on this battle we have.

Yes I had the nausea and sickness too and do still have the psycho crap at times although less now. The hardest part was making the decision to quit.

Startingover444

No taper, just CT. The boredom I just got through. Yes it hurt but it didn't kill me. Which will happen if you don't stop. I also quit drinking and am having to change my social contacts.

Your GF and your dog are a huge start. They are there for you to build your future with. Only a couple of friends knew about my struggles and that was after WD. No one knew while I was going through it. Too ashamed.

I see you live in London? What do you like to do with your time? Other than the obvious!!

IWalkTheLine

I work a lot, my dogs are my source of happiness, complete innocents in a harsh world. I liked the gym and buying and selling stuff but the drugs have robbed me of any motivation

IWalkTheLine

I made a lot of mistakes in my past through drink and drugs, when im clear headed I think back to what I've lost, its hard. But im trying to salvage what I can out of life, despite my best efforts to mess everything up I don't think ive left it too late to turn it around. I hope anyway.

teatreeoil007

Yep.: I too struggle with motivation...but it gets better and is getting better...

Startingover444

I am EXACTLY the same about my 3 dogs. They are the most amazing beings who keep me sane.

The drugs took over everything for me too. All I was concerned with was getting my next box and whether I had enough for the day. It was exhausting. The lies, the travel to different chemists, the stories I made up as to why I needed them, the disposal of the boxes, the money I spent, the physical effects it had on my health and the constant obsession with them and the minor buzz that I was able to obtain for a short time.

No motivation for anything else. However, that does lift. Slowly I am getting my life back. I am feeling that I am enjoying things again that have nothing to do with drugs or unhealthy living. I am 5 weeks off the booze and about 9 weeks off the pills (apart from the relapse with the tooth for a week)

Are you in a position where you are thinking you might want to quit ?

Startingover444

It is NEVER too late. And the good thing is the past is the past and the future can be whatever you like.

Determined82

Hey Starting Over
Just read through your journey from the beginning and wanted to leave some encouragement on your thread. You really are doing great! How wonderful that you are using your space to help other also... Very rewarding.
I notice you said you didn't want to attend meetings but you feel you may need a little more support. I am in the same boat as you and I too live in London. SMART does daily online meetings in the evening. All you need is some earphone/ headset and a lap top or android phone
I was meant to attend my first yesterday but something came up so will try again today. Just a suggestion if you still need that little extra...
Other than that keep up the great work. Your sober pill free life will be sooooooo worth it

Startingover444

Thanks Det, I will look up the meetings. I didn't know they did that.

That is the beauty of forums, you receive and get help also. I think that is crucial to any recovery. Seeing inspirational stories or even stories of relapse can help us in some way or another to keep moving forward.

IWalkTheLine

I try to quit every day, some days I think sod it and go with it and get my pills in the AM, most of the time I make it until 3 or 4 before I get sick and give in. Even when I'm trying to quit I need pills in the house incase the withdrawal gets too bad. So tomorrow im planning on quitting again. Thanks for your time, if I make it through tomorrow with no pills I'll let you know

IWalkTheLine

BTW what dogs do you have?

Startingover444

You can do this, i promise. Get yourself some lemsip, immodium and lots of fluids. Don't worry about eating just keep yourself hydrated. Yes you will feel poorly but it won't last forever and it will pass. Treat it like the flu and you will get through it.

GOOD LUCK

Startingover444

I have 3. I have an old Collie x about 13 years old. I have a Golden retriever who is just over 2 and a lurcher who is just over 1

What about you?

Determined82

Glad to see your still going strong and have successfully 'started over'
We've so got this!!

IWalkTheLine

Im struggling I got to about 5.00pm and was quite sick (had to pull over in my car) ended up using a LOT again, when 8 would have taken of the edge.