Thinking of using
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Cairo, Egypt
Posts: 17
Thinking of using
Hello guys,
Iv been clean and sober for nearly 1 year. Im 21 years old, and im working the 12 step NA program. I feel like im to young for this stuff, i feel like using, most of people my age are using, i have no doubt im an addict, but i feel i can handle **** for a few years till i can quit again and work the program but im afraid i wont be able to handle it. This is my first recovery attempt, ive never experienced relapse. I dont kmow why maybe cuase of my age but my head keeps telling me using and drinking is how you have fun in lifee.
Need your advice, suggestions, thoughts, anything Thanks
Iv been clean and sober for nearly 1 year. Im 21 years old, and im working the 12 step NA program. I feel like im to young for this stuff, i feel like using, most of people my age are using, i have no doubt im an addict, but i feel i can handle **** for a few years till i can quit again and work the program but im afraid i wont be able to handle it. This is my first recovery attempt, ive never experienced relapse. I dont kmow why maybe cuase of my age but my head keeps telling me using and drinking is how you have fun in lifee.
Need your advice, suggestions, thoughts, anything Thanks
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 770
I got sober at 23- I remind myself a lot that I didnt get sober so young bc drinking and drugging were still fun, if they were I would still be doing it.
I know the thoughts tho, that it would be so nice to go out and party again, but then when I go to those parties and I see my wasted friends it is a great reminder - I have better ways of having fun that don't have harmful and long term Consequences. Of course I still glamourize drinking and using and that's okay - it's programmed in us at a young age, and it's all over the tv and media, it really does feel like everyone else is drinkin at times but in truth that is not the reality of it.
Anyways,, I tend to ramble.
kudos for getting on here and being honest like that - I wish you the best .
maybe there r some "young peoples" meetings or something like that in your area? There were a ton in mine and the used to go out dancing and clubbing snd doing all of that stuff together , sober, with eachothers support
I know the thoughts tho, that it would be so nice to go out and party again, but then when I go to those parties and I see my wasted friends it is a great reminder - I have better ways of having fun that don't have harmful and long term Consequences. Of course I still glamourize drinking and using and that's okay - it's programmed in us at a young age, and it's all over the tv and media, it really does feel like everyone else is drinkin at times but in truth that is not the reality of it.
Anyways,, I tend to ramble.
kudos for getting on here and being honest like that - I wish you the best .
maybe there r some "young peoples" meetings or something like that in your area? There were a ton in mine and the used to go out dancing and clubbing snd doing all of that stuff together , sober, with eachothers support
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
Think back to the reasons why you quit a year ago mraouf.
Any idea you have that things might be different this time is just addictive wishful thinking. It's a lie to get you back there.
It's going to be exactly the same...or maybe a little worse.
If 'everyone is using' you really need new friends, because not everyone uses.
D
Any idea you have that things might be different this time is just addictive wishful thinking. It's a lie to get you back there.
It's going to be exactly the same...or maybe a little worse.
If 'everyone is using' you really need new friends, because not everyone uses.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
recovery birthdays can be a tricky time. i mean heck, we've pulled off the impossible for a year right? we've beat the demon, surely NOW we can drink again like NORMAL people do?
that's all addict speak. the beast never rests.....it lurks in the bushes, waiting, patiently waiting. it will be there today, next week, and 10 years from now. i realize that sounds like a lousy deal, but once you just ACCEPT it, and don't feed it, don't talk it, don't encourage it, it WILL leave you alone........mostly.
we just have to stay on our toes in recovery. be vigilant. be safe. no different than getting in our cars, quick check of the mirrors, make sure the engine starts, we have gas, and our seatbelts are clicked on, and THEN we can take it out of park.
that's all addict speak. the beast never rests.....it lurks in the bushes, waiting, patiently waiting. it will be there today, next week, and 10 years from now. i realize that sounds like a lousy deal, but once you just ACCEPT it, and don't feed it, don't talk it, don't encourage it, it WILL leave you alone........mostly.
we just have to stay on our toes in recovery. be vigilant. be safe. no different than getting in our cars, quick check of the mirrors, make sure the engine starts, we have gas, and our seatbelts are clicked on, and THEN we can take it out of park.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
It's all a personal choice. But if you choose to drink and/or use again, it is important to think of the consequences that will come with that choice, and then if it is worth it. I am choosing to stay abstinent today because I don't want to feel depressed, anxious, and dysfunctional the next day after using, and I don't want to have to go back to using Aleve PM and sleeping pills after I wake up after three hours of passing out and technically have 5 more hours of restless sleep.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 432
Mraouf...
Interesting that I would find your post here today. I am 50 years old going on 25 and still feel the same way you are feeling. I am an addict and an alcoholic. It started out as fun turned ugly fast. I drank for years but when I went straight to IV drug use it was a fast drop into hell. I am 3 1/2 years sober. I went for 1 year and had a relapse for about a week and had that stark reality come back and hit me in the face that I am still and always will be an addict. Quit again.
Today I was having one of those days about how I want to drink or use. Tired of people telling me how great sobriety is. Not feeling it so much today. But when I look forward to what would happen IF I did use, that doesn't end well at all.
That first year I spent thinking about "Am I really never going to drink or use again? Wow, that's a long time. I'm not sure I can do it." Well I am still not sure I can do it but for today, when I am wanting to use the most I came her and found your post. I know I won't use today.
Please take care!
Interesting that I would find your post here today. I am 50 years old going on 25 and still feel the same way you are feeling. I am an addict and an alcoholic. It started out as fun turned ugly fast. I drank for years but when I went straight to IV drug use it was a fast drop into hell. I am 3 1/2 years sober. I went for 1 year and had a relapse for about a week and had that stark reality come back and hit me in the face that I am still and always will be an addict. Quit again.
Today I was having one of those days about how I want to drink or use. Tired of people telling me how great sobriety is. Not feeling it so much today. But when I look forward to what would happen IF I did use, that doesn't end well at all.
That first year I spent thinking about "Am I really never going to drink or use again? Wow, that's a long time. I'm not sure I can do it." Well I am still not sure I can do it but for today, when I am wanting to use the most I came her and found your post. I know I won't use today.
Please take care!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,947
hi Mraouf
great job on the sobriety and great that your sharing about your desires to use. I hope you don't!
I hope you can find in your heart that there is a life out there without drugs that is so much more exciting than the illusion that drugs are fun. there is a world of wonder inside yourr heart...a whole universe of love...and that is way more exciting than drugs.
perhaps your at a point where you need to ramp up your "program" of recovery. try something new. a renewed journey into the steps with a new sponsor? yoga? meditation twice a day for 20 minutes? eating healthy; actually listening to your body and eating what it wants?
anyway your at a little platau or something like that right now. a crossroads so to speak. you may need to dive into something in order to not go back to using.
some 16 year old kid figured out a way to catch pollution/litter in the ocean and soon (4 years later) it is now going to be implemented. a young kid right about your age. it makes me reflect on what the heck have I done with my life?
there is more to do than just party and there is so much more happiness to be found in many other possible areas of your life.
Good luck and keep up the good work.
I'm proud of you; and I never even tried to get sober until I was 32 so you got a big jump on me....don't give up dude....you can literally save the world!!!
great job on the sobriety and great that your sharing about your desires to use. I hope you don't!
I hope you can find in your heart that there is a life out there without drugs that is so much more exciting than the illusion that drugs are fun. there is a world of wonder inside yourr heart...a whole universe of love...and that is way more exciting than drugs.
perhaps your at a point where you need to ramp up your "program" of recovery. try something new. a renewed journey into the steps with a new sponsor? yoga? meditation twice a day for 20 minutes? eating healthy; actually listening to your body and eating what it wants?
anyway your at a little platau or something like that right now. a crossroads so to speak. you may need to dive into something in order to not go back to using.
some 16 year old kid figured out a way to catch pollution/litter in the ocean and soon (4 years later) it is now going to be implemented. a young kid right about your age. it makes me reflect on what the heck have I done with my life?
there is more to do than just party and there is so much more happiness to be found in many other possible areas of your life.
Good luck and keep up the good work.
I'm proud of you; and I never even tried to get sober until I was 32 so you got a big jump on me....don't give up dude....you can literally save the world!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: South Boston
Posts: 547
It just keeps getting worse. I'm 26 and basically the "I'm too young" excuse has kept me in the game for years. Assuming you survive it your addiction will only progress, your life will only get worse and all that will just make it that much harder to recover. Choosing addiction means risking everything you have, choosing recovery means you get better. You don't want to look back at this post in a few months or a few years and imagine what your life could have been like if you stopped. The sooner you stop the sooner you can start living. Drugs are the road to misery, never met anyone whose happy using but seen plenty of happy people in meetings who have embraced recovery. It's hard but it only gets harder if you keep doing the same old ****, the addiction only grows. It doesn't remain constant it gets worse, not just physically but mentally... I don't think you'll ever find someone who says they regret getting clean, but you'll find everyone who says they regret continuing to use.
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