CobraCommander

thanks again tod, the breathing thing has been very scary. so hearing you say that helps me feel a bit better. im almost wondering if im tapering to fast even though its been a long time. ive been on 1.5 pills about 17 days now and i can go a very long time now before any pains or withdrawals and do very good, but wow these breathing issues. this morning i walked up to my house 3 doors up (im still staying at my moms to recover). within 10 minutes of me walking there and back i was completely out of breathe, my body was overheating, i felt dizzy and hot, and if i was gone any longer i think i would of blacked out. my muscles in my legs were so weak from not getting off the couch the past half a month i could feel them shaking like spaghetti kinda from not being used. i hate to say this but i think i might increase back to 2 pills a day so my body can adjust a little better to the tapering because its totally effecting my entire day. i have a normal panick attack wheni wake up, then i have a heavy chest pain anxiety attack, and then i have a withdrawal anxiety attack. its becomming to much for me my body doesnt seem to want to adjust to the low dosage of 1.5 pills a day. i go to the heart dr today for a echo test i think thats my last test to rule anything extra out.

its so hard right now to know if im doing the right thing by staying at 1.5, or if i went down to fast, or what because i feel so bad everyday. i wish it was cravings i was dealing with. i have so many extra pills from all the tapering i been doing that are ready to be flushed down the toilet.

sorry i sound like a repeat record here, it just helps complaining here. i have a breathing issue taking the pills, and then i have a breathing issue not taking the pills. i have like 4 or 5 different breathing/anxiety reactions from tapering and withdrawals etc. its such a mess i wish it would ease up already so i could physically do something instead of laying here unable to breath all day.

im not worried about the addiction part at all, i have so many extra pills that ive not taken i could kill a dinosaur and i have no feeling at all the entire day to take any if i dont have to. the past few days ive only been taking a pain pill when like 7 hours of not being able to breath correctly has passed and i cant handle it anymore.

im extremely terrafied of rehab. i dunno if its just my state but id say almost 75% of anyone in the medical field ive encountered is extremely unprofessional and mean to me after i basically kiss there but being friendly.

can you leave rehab when you mandatory check in can you leave anytime you want if you feel like they are mistreating you? or are you stuck there once you go in? and im kinda worried about how they go about the routine of distributing pills to you, ive thought of going in hopes that they will know how to figure out to help my breathing issue and taper me and give me the right stuff to get me to breath normal again but i dont wanna trade one drug for another drug id rather just be completely done with it all at once

i guess im going to keep trying this 1.5 until my breathing is adjusted and stable enough to lower down some more. on my refill next week im going to ask for 10mg instead of 15mg pills, so when i take the halfs ill only be taking 5mg instead of 7mg. this will drop me down to a even 1pill a day. im hoping that will somehow work better.

im also wondering if my body already did adjust to the 1.5 pills, and when i take a half the 7mg is to much causing bad effects.. so i guess ill be able to tell when i get the lower dosage in a week.

im kinda all over the place with my writing im sorry this is prob frusterating to read and to try to help me, its just been a horrible night again. hell, a horrible YEAR and im extremely lost, confused, and scared

also could my shortness of breath and nearly blacking out be a possible cause of just being out of shape? i havent worked in a few years and ive been resting like 7 months. im not overweight or anything. but maybe me running out of breathe while walking is being out of shape but in my mind i think its something wrong and then my brain goes into anxiety mode. i dunno. i remember the first month or 2 i couldnt even walk down my stairs without running out of breathe but then the xanax balanced that out and i was still being pretty productable. i think if i took more xanax i could balance the breathing out better but im to afraid of my body getting dependant on that to so i been trying to keep that as low as possible. i didnt start the xanax until a few months after the first chest pain/breathing issue happened so its not something i originally took everyday

damascus1986

i went through detox , then rehab. i couldnt leave detox checked myself in. i could have left rehab, did that the first time used for 2 and a half years.

Rehab wasnt fun but for me the most important thing was getting off drugs. if i could go back 4 years ago and talk to myself and show myself how awesome my life is now there would be no question.

My sponsor would tell me to keep it simple. detox,rehab, meetings(i did NA), work the steps, Get a sponsor( i tried for four or more years), and dont use drugs. If you do these things and follow through with them life can be truely awesome.

I agree with what TOD said rehab was the best thing i ever did and it saved my life. I just had to really put not using any kind of drugs or alcohol before anything else.

CobraCommander

i thought detox and rehab was the same thing? or is detox getting off the drug and then rehab is coping with being off it and getting support?

CobraCommander

little update. for most of july i stuck mainly at 1.5 a day and 2.0 a few of the really bad withdrawal days.

the past 7 days ive been at 1 pill a day or .75 of a pill a day and the withdrawls are dimming down a bit but when i wake up i feel like i get hit by the most horrific anxiety attack and leg pains ever. but i think its progressing.

i made a long post but some database error occured and deleted everything. so thats all for now. the withdrawals have been horrendous leg pains, migraines, horrific anxiety, no sleep. etc.

im really hoping all this work isnt for nothing and these chest pains go away for good once this is all out of my system and it balances itself back out because im all out of ideas and so are the dr's. im hoping that the pills werent intensifying a unfound problem and im hoping the pills alone were the only problem. so i guess time will tell

im so sick of being stuck on this couch unable to do anything

damascus1986

detox is to get your through the withdrawls the first few days. they transpoted me straight to rehad for 28 days im paitient so i can start to get ahold of the steps.
first day out of rehab i went to a NA meeting. i did 90 meetings in 90 days.

imo the only way to stop having any withdrawl effects are to get off all the drugs it just throws the body out of whack. and as addicts were not good at managing our addictions. the process mentioned above saved my life. im just a dopefeind that got lucky had some help and tried it.

GS123

I just finished reading through your posts and first I want to say it sounds like you are making some positive steps and its great that you are trying to get off of the pain meds. I have personally struggled wth a very long addiction to pain meds and am working on sobriety so no judgement or anything like that. A couple things that stuck out to me are as follows, first, is that I have always heard that pain medication and anti-depressants are one of the worst combinations for your heart/breathing. I am not sure exactly what the science is behind it, but I have read that together they can lead to serious issues. Have you asked your doctor about the combination of the two and potential side effects? Do a quick google search on the combination, most of the discussions about them include things like "induce immediate vommiting" or "go to a hospital" ask your doctor or pharmacist next chance you get about the combination. Second is that the assertion that .25mg of Xanax is nothing leads me to believe that you are underestimating the strength of this drug, anything you put in your body that is not natural will have an effect, you are taking two very potent drugs together for long periods of time, just something to discuss next time you see your doctor, it does sound like you have some real pain but when you have real pain caused by real issues and you start masking the pain with medications it doesn't fix the underlying problem it only alleviates the symptoms allowing you to do additional damage without realizing it. I wish you all the best with your recovery and hope things work out for you.

damascus1986

i agree with gs123

Keeya

Keep up the fight cobra, I've got 35 days under my belt and feeling much better.

You're going to do it too.

CobraCommander

hi thanks for the concern and reply, im actually only taking the xanax to help get past the withdrawals and to keep my pulse down ive had multiple doctors suggest it. i have no intention on staying on it at all nor do i like it etc. gives me no sorta high or anything like that, just makes me tired and able to breathe and calm down. the heart dr also gave me a beta blocker which is actually stronger then a anxiety pill, it lowers your blood pressure to stay calm, i got it filled but im not taking it.

CobraCommander

well another monthly update. this month has been the absolute hardest since ive now went down to the lowest mg ive ever been on and have had the worst withdrawals EVER! i went down to 1 pill a day and .75 (1/3rd) of a pill a day. i was at .75 most days. for the last few days i been at a half a pill (.50 roughly 7mg) a day. i tapered HARD. i went 24 hours one day without nothing, 15 hours another day, and 17 hours another day. been taking 6 hot showers, the only time now im taking anything is to stop the leg cramps when i need to sleep. i had to take a half at bedtime though which is the only thing breaking my streak. the leg pains were so horrendous they wake me up crying in my sleep everyday. ive been rubbing some pain gel on my legs and diving in hot baths. i tried tylenol pm's but those only knock me out 3 hours b4 the leg pains wake me. ummm got magnesium and potasium pills and tons of gatorade but none of it helps. excedrine migraine helps a little

a few questions, my ribs are killing me! especially my left side which is the side my chest pain was on. i dunno if this is from laying around to much but i can barely move. my mom is now sleeping on the couch and im sleeping in her room to have mroe comfort shes basically nursing me so the bed seems to help a little more but yesterday morning i went on a walk and my left lung seemed to hurt after 40 minutes and ive had a side pain all day in my rib area which seems to happen and last a few days then goes away but i have to nurse it and not stretch wrong and lay around alot. ive also been sneezing like crazy, and a few days it felt like my feet were walking on pins. one thing really concerning me though is my side pains causing me a pretty nasty cough. ive did some googling and read that these are normal side effects but wanted some opinions. also im proud to say my heart rate has been tons better except a few bad panik attacks through the day. but im a bit worried because i still sometimes get the same chest pain even after being clean like 12 or so hours. im pretty close to completely off. the side effects are scary. as one friend told me they are actually good signs because that means im one step closer to being normal again. i hope so! oh also the migraines were horrendous. ive talked to my dr again and told them give me the lowest dosage possible and that im going clean and only wanna take half of a 5mg for my legs until im at 0mg. im now at roughly 5 to 7mg a day now. at most 10mg if my legs are that horrible but im pretty consistent at about 7mg.

im relaly hoping this solves the chest problem for good and i hope it doesnt come back in the future as something that i cannot stop. all my tests from all the drs said i was ok so far.

another odd thing is i cant use my phone, it gives me bad chest pains. this was happening before on my laptop so i had to stop using the computer alot. its happening when i play video games to. this is something ive asked the drs about and they just laugh which really offends me that they dont take it seriously. it seems like when my arms are closer together it is putting a stress on my chest that gives it more aches.

sorry that was alot of jibberish again, have had alot happen in the past month since last post

damascus1986

I want you to get clean and be free as i have learned to do. I am not a doctor i will say that my doctor would have kept me on suboxone for years if i kept going there. I still suggest detox facility( where the will give you the meds neccesary to get off narcotics and watch your health) then rehab., then some good meetings to begin to treat the disease of addiction. The only way to get rid of any withdrawl is to get completely off drugs and let the body try to fix any problems going on. I hope you know im not trying to attack you in any way. Without stopping the use of all drugs which change the way your mind and body work even a doctor cannot know whats a actual problem with the body and what could be caused by the use of substances.

CobraCommander

whats the best way to find a detox/rehab? ive heard some places are good and some are like prisons depending on price range?

the past 2 days ive only taken 5mg at night to sleep, and so far today im at 22 hours clean and coughed and dry heeved most the day and some shaking. so im doing ehh pretty good except the horrific side effects. i think if i cant make it past the coughing and leg and rib pain within a month i might try to get medical help.

damascus1986

I went through a program called BACODA. detox and rehab were free. The state of texas paid for it and helped me alot to change my life.

When in detox i medically admitted myself and they were there to ensure i was to make it through the withdraw. they did give me several medications to deal with the effects^ very similiar to what u were going through( all non narcotic drugs). i did sign myself in there and it was for myy own good i could not leave detox until a doctor dismissed me and it was for my safety. It took about a week before i was dissmissed and throught he worst of it. The best part of that is once you make it through them u never have to go through them again as long as u dont use. Then they transported me to rehab. I went to a place called the Cheyenne center its considered "theraputic community" Addicts helping eachother stay clean and some conselors that mostly are in recovery themselves. I could have left rehab at any time my want to be clean kept me there it wasnt fun but it was neccesary, it gave me my freedom. I truely wouldnt trade my recovery for anything and it feels good if i can possibly help someone else experience the miracles possible as well. In my addiction i felt so alone, felt abandoned by god ,by my friend , by my family, they never understood me. In my recovery ive learned my higher power was always looking out for me i was blinded by my use, my old friends werent really friends i let go of some 20+ year friendships because they still wanted me to use and i gained back the trust of my loved ones and i was able to love back now in better ways being the real me. Maybe some of these numbers can help.



BACODA | Contact Us

u may not be in texas but they may have a number that can help or someone they can referr you to.


Narcotics Anonymous Hotline - Drug Alcohol Helpline

also theres the NA hotline i think they can always help, finding meetings, possibly rehab and detox too. the first day i got out of rehab i went to my first Na meeting and continue to go. I think every one including normal people could benefit from the working of the 12 steps. i hope some of this will help you.

CobraCommander

thanks i appreciate it so much. if i had a counselor standing in front of me right now id jump right in there car.

can they take you immediately? or do you have to wait a day or week etc? im in ohio so i guess id have to do some searching . ill save that hotline number

i have a notebook filled with a few numbers i wrote down over the past few weeks

right now im 40 or 41 hours clean but i dunno if i can keep this up with this cough ive only slept 2 hours in 2 days with my throat coughing so much

its like im at a crossroad do i throw the 40 hours away, get better then go to a detox so they can rewire me. or do i keep up with the suffering and hope i can make it. if this doesnt get better by tonight or in the a.m. i might have to relapse just to sleep and stop these side effects. i feel so upset right now if i have to give up and start all over. the worst part is being scared the entire day having never been through this before i keep thinking im going to die or something

oh also one more thing did you have to stay on subutex or methadone after the detox or were you pretty much off everything. im afraid of switching one drug for another but if it helps the detox im willing to try anything

damascus1986

when i went to detox i never too subs or any narcotic again. i asked them about it when iw as going in we threw away what i had left they didnt allow it.

for me the 3rd to 4th day was the worst from being opiod dependent after that it let up some. As far as when u can check in it all depends on how full the facilities are. they did transport me straight from detox to rehab btw,