Am I alone?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: London
Posts: 5
Am I alone?
Hello everyone, I hope you are all well. My names is James and I am from the U.K. Im nearly 11 months clean and sober (My drugs of choice were Cocaine and Alcohol,) the past few months have been great but I'm still struggling with something that I had hoped would of gone away or settled by now and its really starting to worry me, I would feel so much better if I could find someone else who may experience the same thing, I haven't really been able to explain it well enough in meetings or find anyone that can relate. Basically, I have a fairly constant feeling of craving that I just cant shake, I feel it specifically in my mouth, like I am absolutely gagging for sugar/alcohol. The feeling can vary from mild to VERY strong throughout the day, but doesn't really take a pattern. When it is at its worst the only way I get through it is smoking one after the other or chewing something. I don't bother eating sugar to satisfy it because that just makes it worse (once you start you cant stop.) I know its to do with my addiction, my diet is great, I don't have diabetes or anything and my blood tests are always perfect. This only started after I got clean. The thing that bothers me most and what is definitely the strangest is that when I know I have to do something (e.g mow the lawn, call the bank, do the dishes or even something pleasant like meet a friend or watch a movie,) I will get an overwhelming sense of dread come over me and that craving feeling will appear in a flash and make me want to pick up a drink or a drug or both. I will instantly turn lazy. My brain will literally turn up its nose at the thought of anything other than using. Its really starting to upset me, and I'm wondering if anyone else can relate to this? Is it called something? Will it ever go away or at least subside? Any relation would be amazing, thanks.
James
James
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by soberjames 
The thing that bothers me most and what is definitely the strangest is that when I know I have to do something (e.g mow the lawn, call the bank, do the dishes or even something pleasant like meet a friend or watch a movie,) I will get an overwhelming sense of dread come over me and that craving feeling will appear in a flash and make me want to pick up a drink or a drug or both. I will instantly turn lazy. My brain will literally turn up its nose at the thought of anything other than using. Its really starting to upset me, and I'm wondering if anyone else can relate to this? Is it called something? Will it ever go away or at least subside? Any relation would be amazing, thanks.
James
James
You mentioned meetings - I am assuming AA, but may be incorrect?? Are you doing step work with a sponsor?
Some of what you mention sounds to me like issues steps 4-5-6-7 deal with.
May be something to talk to a sponsor about......
Glad you're here posting!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: London
Posts: 5
I am really hoping that someone might be able to relate, thanks for your welcome guys. I am currently doing stepwork with a sponsor, but it dosent seem to be getting rid of it, i do hope i can find an end to it somehow!!!
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by soberjames
I am really hoping that someone might be able to relate, thanks for your welcome guys. I am currently doing stepwork with a sponsor, but it dosent seem to be getting rid of it, i do hope i can find an end to it somehow!!!
That's great James! The program has worked for many people over the year for sure.......
Remember......If we are painstaking about this phase of our development we are going to be amazed before we are halfway through....
In my experience, this is indeed true!
Keep coming back
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Soberjames I do not have that exact feeling. That feeling in your mouth.
1 thing I do have is a nearly constant tightening in my chest/upper torso. It's my craving for nicotene manifesting as a physical tightening in my upper stomach. Eating sweets does help it. But like you said it makes me want to keep on eating them and then what? Diabetes? But it's frustrating and I don't know how to get rid of it. I was hoping it would go away in time.
Now about that exact feeling you are experiencing I have heard of it thru a member that was here on the forum. She used to mention this strange feeling in her mouth that was related to cravings. I will look for that thread and send it too you.
1 thing I do have is a nearly constant tightening in my chest/upper torso. It's my craving for nicotene manifesting as a physical tightening in my upper stomach. Eating sweets does help it. But like you said it makes me want to keep on eating them and then what? Diabetes? But it's frustrating and I don't know how to get rid of it. I was hoping it would go away in time.
Now about that exact feeling you are experiencing I have heard of it thru a member that was here on the forum. She used to mention this strange feeling in her mouth that was related to cravings. I will look for that thread and send it too you.
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
Soberjames, 11 months clean and sober is just FANTASTIC, congratulations. James I was a crackhead, alcoholic for 40 years and it was a year for me for such problems to start going away. I believe it's called oral fixation but that has gone away for me and it's good you can stay off the sugar too, it's just as addicting as every thing else. Rootin for ya. 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Oh thanks Michael! It's nice to put a name to it! 
This is the thread where she talks about that strange mouth sensation. Not sure if it's helpful or not....but at least you know you are not the only one dealing with it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-5-a.html
This is the thread where she talks about that strange mouth sensation. Not sure if it's helpful or not....but at least you know you are not the only one dealing with it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-5-a.html
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: London
Posts: 5
Ahhh you guys are awesome, thank you so much for your support. Its been so hard to try and explain it all to someone but was easier to type it all as im not great at describing things on the spot!! I feel so much better now i know other people have had it and that it has a name!! was starting to worry that my 11 months clean time was wasted for a little while. Feeling so much stronger now. PHEW!!! Thank you again guys, God bless you all.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 16
I actually can kind of understand that feeling. I think its psychosomatics. I think your brain is having such conflict by trying to supress cravings that it tricks your body into thinking its drinking. Thus, why you feel a swallowing sensation. Just my guess.
Interesting enough, I can also relate to completely shutting down when cravings get too strong. I am very stubborn and I always get what I want. Its a tragedy.
Interesting enough, I can also relate to completely shutting down when cravings get too strong. I am very stubborn and I always get what I want. Its a tragedy.
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