Pallas

I am sorry I have not been around lately on the forums. I had a bit of a relapse, and had to go into detox. Just got home today, and I'm feeling great! I'm going to my first NA meeting tonight with a friend who is also in recovery. I have a way better attitude than I did when I checked into detox, and I'm looking forward to a better and brighter sober future.

Dee74

welcome back Pallas

D

Impurrfect

Welcome back and good for you on getting to a meeting!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Pallas

Thank you! I just got home from my meeting (after a brief pit-stop at the book store) and I thoroughly enjoyed it! It was great to have so much support from complete strangers! I am definitely going to continue going to meetings

gnarlyboots

Heya Pallas, glad to see you optimistic & feeling strong in your recovery mate. Hang with cats who have good clean time in those meetings, be honest in your shares and go easy on yourself. All the best!

neferkamichael

Pallas, glad you are back, rootin for ya.

Justincredible

Welcome back!

Pallas

Thanks guys, having a bit of a rough time of it today. A friend of mine, whom I asked to house my husband for a while because he had nowhere to go is accusing my husband of stealing all sorts of things from their apartment, and blasting all over online that we cannot be trusted and all this bull, and the stress is really getting to me. I don't know if any of the stuff was really stolen, but I am so stressed out that all I can think of is using. I'm going to try to find a meeting that I can go to this evening, but I just need to hold strong until tonight I guess.

Marcus

Hang in there Pallas. Using is not going to make things better. It is not going to make your problems go away - just compounds them. Get some phone numbers at the meetings. Reach out and don't try to do it alone.

Pallas

Thank you, and I definitely know that using isn't the answer now...it took me a while to understand that, but it's finally sinking in. I went to another meeting after work today, and I did get a few new phone numbers to call. I'm feeling pretty rough today, because the suboxone they gave me in detox worked its way out of my system, but going to that meeting tonight really gave me strength. I'm feeling more confident than I did any of the other times I tried to quit, and I really have been enjoying going to the meetings.

OpioPhobe

Pallas - welcome back man. It is good to hear that you didn't use. The suboxone takes a while to work out of your system. In fact, I am kind of surprised to hear that detox centers just cut people loose when they have sub still in their system. Actually no - it isn't surprising now that I think about it. It sounds exactly like something they would do.

Keep on keepin on.

OpioPhobe

Pallas - how is today going? Any residual withdrawal still lingering?

Pallas

Hey guys, I'm doing pretty crappy today. Still feeling like all my bones are going to snap in half, and my brain is about to protrude from my head, and like I just swallowed radioactive waste, but otherwise I'm good. I missed my outpatient appointment that they made me while I was in detox because my job wouldn't let me take the time off, so now I have to make a new appointment. I just hope that they get me on subs right away, because it is way too hard to hold out.

OpioPhobe

Wait...hold the press. I didn't know that you were planning on going on the subs. I guess I am confused as to why you went to the trouble of detoxing if you planned on getting on the subs? I am not sure what your sub taper looked like, but it looks like you are 5-6 days out from getting out of detox. Like I said, it takes a while for the subs to work their way out of your system so you are probably just feeling the full effects now. I am right behind you as my last sub was yesterday, and so far it hasn't been bad for me. My sub program was self-directed and was short-term (basically a DIY detox in the comfort of my own home).

If you have made up your mind that you want to get on the subs I am not going to try to talk you out of it, but I was just surprised by that. Was that the plan all along or did you come to that conclusion since leaving detox? The one thing I would say is that you might start feeling better tomorrow, and missing that appointment might be the best thing that ever happened to you. Coming off of long-term sub / methadone use appears to be a whole different, brutal animal. I don't have personal experience with it, but reading the sub / methadone forum has kept me away from using it long-term. Again, I don't want to try to talk you out of anything. It is up to you and your doctor to decide what the course of action is.

I do have experience using subs / methadone for a short-term detox, and I still think that is the best method. It is still painful, but the withdrawal is less intense. I think about it like an installment plan. Going cold turkey is extremely intense, but it does get things over quickly. As a quick rule of thumb I would say that using subs for detox cuts the intensity in half, but extends it twice as long. Also, depending on the speed of the taper during detox it delays it. If you are on day 6 and started feeling it the day you left the detox you have already got a lot of 'equity' in this quit. If you go back to the subs now you are going to be throwing away those 6 days. Don't forget that you never have to go through this again.

Best of luck either way Pallas. No judgments if you have decided to go back to the subs. There are a lot of folks that got off of subs and then relapsed when they succumbed to cravings. Unfortunately, some of those ended up being fatalities.

RedManc7

I have a few subs in my draw. Not touched. Have them Incase I got mental cravings for heroin (I haven't) - might dump them at some point

AliWProk

Repeat as necessary!