The Monster
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 8
The Monster
Oh how I wish I could take back the day I let "The Monster" AKA Methamphetamine, into my life.
The one drug that I vowed I would NEVER touch, even after using heroin, now ruled every single decision I made. Any morals I had left were pushed aside.
A night out partying with the monster never failed to turn into two, three, four, or five sleepless days and nights. At the end it was always me, alone, hanging on to my sanity by a thread for dear life. Sometimes the thread would brake and the delusions and hallucinations would take over and bring me to the hospital.
Using meth is like walking hand-in-hand through the Devil's playground with Satan himself. I'm lucky I'm still alive.
It's been over a week since I've used. The Monster likes to talk to me still but I ignore him. Sometimes a memory of a past "pleasurable" experience with meth will pop up in my head and I can literally feel the adrenaline and dopamine start to pump through my body. My brain sets off signals letting me know it's time to get tweaked.
But the beautiful reality is I don't have to use, I don't want to use, and I'm not going to use.
Today I have a choice and for that I'm thankful.
The one drug that I vowed I would NEVER touch, even after using heroin, now ruled every single decision I made. Any morals I had left were pushed aside.
A night out partying with the monster never failed to turn into two, three, four, or five sleepless days and nights. At the end it was always me, alone, hanging on to my sanity by a thread for dear life. Sometimes the thread would brake and the delusions and hallucinations would take over and bring me to the hospital.
Using meth is like walking hand-in-hand through the Devil's playground with Satan himself. I'm lucky I'm still alive.
It's been over a week since I've used. The Monster likes to talk to me still but I ignore him. Sometimes a memory of a past "pleasurable" experience with meth will pop up in my head and I can literally feel the adrenaline and dopamine start to pump through my body. My brain sets off signals letting me know it's time to get tweaked.
But the beautiful reality is I don't have to use, I don't want to use, and I'm not going to use.
Today I have a choice and for that I'm thankful.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
glad to meet you, YIR. I have no experience with meth, my sibs have been addicted to meth, for some reason I choose alcohol. Anyway, I am glad you are clean today! It's a lucky/blessed thing to get off meth. I'm happy you've joined us here!
Love from Lenina
Love from Lenina
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
But the beautiful reality is I don't have to use, I don't want to use, and I'm not going to use.
beautifully said! you touched upon the KEY to recovery.....we don't HAVE to use. when locked in the grip it "seems" we have no choice. that's the lie. that's the death sentence. recovery is like the Innocence Project were the wrongly convicted are SET FREE.
beautifully said! you touched upon the KEY to recovery.....we don't HAVE to use. when locked in the grip it "seems" we have no choice. that's the lie. that's the death sentence. recovery is like the Innocence Project were the wrongly convicted are SET FREE.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Each day we remain clean or sober not
using any kind of narcotic or habit forming
substance in our bodies and learning about
addiction with incorporating many healthy,
informative tools and knowledge to our
everyday life, then we are building a strong,
solid recovery foundation to live upon for
many one days at a time down the road.
Sharing your ESH - experiences, strengths
and hopes with many of us in recovery and
those just beginning recovery lets us know
that we have all been there and done the same,
similar experiences as you and no one has
to feel alone.
Not only as you continue to grow and change
in recovery achieving health, happiness and
honesty in all areas of your life, you are remaining
clean and sober and helping others just
coming into recovery and needing support.
Striving for progress and not perfection.
using any kind of narcotic or habit forming
substance in our bodies and learning about
addiction with incorporating many healthy,
informative tools and knowledge to our
everyday life, then we are building a strong,
solid recovery foundation to live upon for
many one days at a time down the road.
Sharing your ESH - experiences, strengths
and hopes with many of us in recovery and
those just beginning recovery lets us know
that we have all been there and done the same,
similar experiences as you and no one has
to feel alone.
Not only as you continue to grow and change
in recovery achieving health, happiness and
honesty in all areas of your life, you are remaining
clean and sober and helping others just
coming into recovery and needing support.
Striving for progress and not perfection.
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Thinking of you Young - Below is a link to the week-ender thread:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...march-1-a.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...march-1-a.html
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 17
"The monster" is the perfect way to describe it. I used Meth for about 6 months MAX, and it's been over a year since I quit..but I still battle every single day with that nagging feeling of wanting it. I keep wondering if and when that feeling will ever go away. Just take it day by day.
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