914born

Ashamed that im on SR right Now and im high as hell right Now. fix me. tell me what to do.

kendrah

The fact that you're loaded and here says a lot. I know that feeling. Don't want to be high anymore but can't ******* stop. No one can fix you except you. Reaching out says that you want help though. Get yourself to a meeting or check into treatment. That's what I had to do and it saved my life. I was strung out on meth years and I've been clean for 18 months now. GOOD LUCK and keep reaching out.

Impurrfect

Though I did crack, it's just another form of cocaine, so I get that.

I'm going on 8 years in recovery, I smoked, injected and snorted.

What worked for me? Putting a distance between me and the "people/places/things". Yes, I had a problem with some of these things, but I did my best.

SR - the people here helped me, tremendously.

Playing the tape to the end - it's, I think, an AA thing, but it helped me. Get high, come down and regret being high. I played the tape to the end to the "regret being high" part. I still do, after all these years. It helps, a lot.

FWIW, I lurked here for at least a couple of years while still using. Something in me wanted better, and when I hit bottom, I came back.

You're high but you will probably come back here to read when you come down.

Using is a dead end street. The "good" of the high is soon followed by remorse for what you did when you were high. If you haven't gotten to that point yet? You will. Been there, done that, got the t-shirts.

Come back here when the high has worn off and you're dealing with life on life's terms. I promise you, it will be worth it.

You're not alone, we are here to walk through this path with you.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Dee74

Hi 914.

I'm gonna lay it out for you. We can help you, we can support you, we can advise you - but we can't fix you.

Thats your job.

Cocaine was never my thing, but I decided I had to work at least twice as hard on staying clean and sober as I used to spend on getting high....

If NA and SR aren't working - maybe it's time to speak with a Dr to discuss other options? Rehab perhaps?

Your bub-to-be deserves every chance in this world that you can give it, 914.

D

larrylive

I definately agree with changing the "people, places and things". But I would to that finding someone to help manage/control your money. By that I mean you should not carry any. These are good safe gaurds, but not fixes. That is going to come from within you, something has to change. Just how much "change" you will need is well..up to you.
I needed a deep and severe psychic change, Although I give credit to AA for showing me the way, I also needed a time out, mainly rehab.
Things can and do get better, it all depends on how much work you want to put into your life.

Be well,
Larry

RedManc7

Yep agree you got to hit rock bottom as an addict often - I did - before you commit to change. Really commit. though the definition of rock bottom depends on your life/circumstances. Took me 2-3 years trying to get even 7 days clean of smack. Had to hit my rock bottom. Did and now dealing with the aftermath, way better than using though. As said its a dead end street. Takes you nowhere.

Ken33xx

I used to tell myself I was going to straighten out a lot while I was loaded.

The fact that you're here is positive.

Come back tomorrow.

RedManc7

Yeah every time I was on heroin I'd say I'm not using tomorrow - then wake up feel like death and go score. Vicious cycle but can be broken.

Chasingthedream

Hey 914

We've all been there. It's probably the beginning of your journey into sobriety which can only be a good thing. At least you posted and asked for help. I used to lurk around here whilst high, probably for a couple of years, before I was really ready to commit to giving up coke. If you want to stop- I hope it doesn't take that long for you.

Come back and say hi when you're not high and maybe we can help you figure out a few things, but as Dee says, no-one but you can fix things.