ADVICE! What happened to my sister!?
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Join Date: Nov 2014
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ADVICE! What happened to my sister!?
Hello everyone I'm new to this site and I've been trying to decide if I should post or not but it's getting to be overwhelming and I don't know what to do. My sister is 30 has three kids two in middle school one barely in preschool and she was married or tech is still married but that wasn't how it always was for them. They used to be happy and I used to talk to her everyday on the phone a few times a day. She was a stay at home mom and loved her kids and loved us all so much. The past two years or so she's done a 180. She lost a bunch of weight and went from dolling up everyday to never ever putting makeup on and just slicking her hair into a pony. She wears baggy clothes and looks sick all the time. As a matter of fact she is sick all the time! Has a stuffy nose a lot on one side. But, the past year and a half my mom was having to drive to her house in the morning just to get her kids to school because she wouldn't wake up. And would sleep and sleep and then other days where she was up late for a few days and up early then shed sleep and be grumpy. Last night my mom said some sketchy friend of my uncles who has been to jail for marijuana knocked on the camper my sister is staying in because she won't stay in the house cuz my parent watch her but anyways she brought my youngest nephew in and left him inside the house and was watching my mom outside until she left and then my sister ran into the garage where my uncles friend has just come from. Then she came back inside and her pupils were dilated and she was giggling and humming and playing with her kids....which half the time she yells at them and just doenst care. But she also goes through stages of baking sweet stuff like cakes and cookies. Just the day before this she was about to flip out cuz my mom didn't have money for her to get cigarettes. She never used to smoke. She didn't make it back from her new boyfriends house in time for her older sons bday or to take them trick or treating either and older man that she all the sudden left her husband for and took off with the kids. But she will go stay with him for weeks and leave her kids with my parents. She also does her nails like for hours and hours and has started coloring those felt things and taking them with here everywhere even to her kids games and doesn't even watch. Her bf supplies her money for anything but can never have money to pay my parents back. Her and her hubby used to have a lot of money cuz he had a good job then all the sudden all this happened and shes a totally different person. I do know for a fact that she has a problem with pain pills she came up to my house and tried to go through a detox which I feel didn't work cuz she was so so sick during it one day then the next she was asking me for candles to make her room smell good and in and out of the door getting food and really talkative and she used to stink really bad like cat pee almost is what it reminded me of. Back at her house she had with her husband that is but now she doesn't smell as much like that. Is she doing meth? Or Heroine? Cuz sometimes she can't even stay awake or wake up and her pupils will be so so tiny. She wouldn't even wake up to get her kid to go to the bathroom so he ran into my parents house in tears almost peeing himself. Any advice is greatly appreciated. This isn't even the half of it but Id need to write a novel for that.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 27
all the signs say she's doing meth, coke, or crack.
except for the sweets. which would be opiates.
however, many times a meth/coke/crack binge is closely followed by an eating binge.
next time you suspect she's high, have a close look at those eyes -
glossy eyes with very small pupils = opiates
dialated pupils = meth, coke, crack
sorry yr going thru this - an addict is the most selfish being in the universe.
except for the sweets. which would be opiates.
however, many times a meth/coke/crack binge is closely followed by an eating binge.
next time you suspect she's high, have a close look at those eyes -
glossy eyes with very small pupils = opiates
dialated pupils = meth, coke, crack
sorry yr going thru this - an addict is the most selfish being in the universe.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
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I have no idea about meth. But it sounds like some sort of opiate. Opiates..heroin for me gives a huge burst of energy then a crash. Some people nod off. I hate nodding.
I really don't know. Have you asked?
Sorry you have to got through that and her kids too.
I really don't know. Have you asked?
Sorry you have to got through that and her kids too.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 211
I'm sorry your sister isn't well, this is like an addicts version of cluedo.
my 2c. You know she's into pain pills so I would say it's a combo of pain meds and meth - pains meds to chill with & meth to perk up and get things done.
my 2c. You know she's into pain pills so I would say it's a combo of pain meds and meth - pains meds to chill with & meth to perk up and get things done.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
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I vote a little of everything....whatever she can get a hold of to stay on her high and not withdrawal.
The staying up for days or long periods of time is meth. As well as the weight loss. It is a serious appetite suppressant for some people. The opiates or heroin will have periods of energy with a crash or nodding off and not being able to stay away.
She is not taking care of herself because all she is caring about are the drugs. She is going to need to go to treatment. She needs to have her children taken away from her for safety reasons. They aren't dumb...they know she is sick or "Not right".
The staying up for days or long periods of time is meth. As well as the weight loss. It is a serious appetite suppressant for some people. The opiates or heroin will have periods of energy with a crash or nodding off and not being able to stay away.
She is not taking care of herself because all she is caring about are the drugs. She is going to need to go to treatment. She needs to have her children taken away from her for safety reasons. They aren't dumb...they know she is sick or "Not right".
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Join Date: Nov 2014
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Thank you all for the replies and the kind words! 
we have asked her before if she's using and she just gets very upset and yells. She claims she hasn't done anything since she came up here and detoxed but thats def not true. She missed our easter dinner cuz she had to take a nap on the side of the road which took her 4 hrs with no response. She had been sneaking off all day and night to see her bf too. Any advice on what I can do? Anytime we try to confront her about her bizarre behavior she just flips and cries and starts trying to make us feel bad for her by say she is a horrible person and everyone thinks it. She missed my lil sis Bach party cuz she said she wanted to be with the kids( whom she left behind for 3 weeks to visit her bf) then she told my mom she "didnt want ppl thinking she didn't wanna be "around ppl" cuz of drugs cuz that's not the case at all and she wants everyone to see she's done with EVERYTHING." I'm just tired and her being this way and when she used to be so loving and healthy instead of being ungrateful to my parents and this miserable person she is now. I feel worse for her kids because they just want her affection and attention and she just yells at them and is like a zombie. Her hubby and his gf picked her up at 11:30 pm lastnight and she just put her youngest in the house and said he needed to talk to her and left....dunno when she returned then they came back at 7:30am and same thing put the youngest inside and said he needs to talk to me. She's also been complaining about her back hurting which she's been to the e.r. 5x in a month cuz she said she's had panic attacks which is causingback pain now went to the e.r. and my niece told me my sis got a shot in her butt of somethin. Went to the dentist 3x in the same week all in which she came back with an rx. She's also on a prescription for xanax and something else
we have asked her before if she's using and she just gets very upset and yells. She claims she hasn't done anything since she came up here and detoxed but thats def not true. She missed our easter dinner cuz she had to take a nap on the side of the road which took her 4 hrs with no response. She had been sneaking off all day and night to see her bf too. Any advice on what I can do? Anytime we try to confront her about her bizarre behavior she just flips and cries and starts trying to make us feel bad for her by say she is a horrible person and everyone thinks it. She missed my lil sis Bach party cuz she said she wanted to be with the kids( whom she left behind for 3 weeks to visit her bf) then she told my mom she "didnt want ppl thinking she didn't wanna be "around ppl" cuz of drugs cuz that's not the case at all and she wants everyone to see she's done with EVERYTHING." I'm just tired and her being this way and when she used to be so loving and healthy instead of being ungrateful to my parents and this miserable person she is now. I feel worse for her kids because they just want her affection and attention and she just yells at them and is like a zombie. Her hubby and his gf picked her up at 11:30 pm lastnight and she just put her youngest in the house and said he needed to talk to her and left....dunno when she returned then they came back at 7:30am and same thing put the youngest inside and said he needs to talk to me. She's also been complaining about her back hurting which she's been to the e.r. 5x in a month cuz she said she's had panic attacks which is causingback pain now went to the e.r. and my niece told me my sis got a shot in her butt of somethin. Went to the dentist 3x in the same week all in which she came back with an rx. She's also on a prescription for xanax and something else
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Denver, CO
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She's doing harm to her children. To some extent or another she's robbing them of the childhood they deserve.
She's doing harm to her relationships to her family.
She's doing harm to herself. By the sounds of it quite a bit.
The relationship with the bf sounds toxic as fuvk.
A family meeting is in order to see if everybody is on the same page. And if so, an intervention forthcoming.
She's doing harm to her relationships to her family.
She's doing harm to herself. By the sounds of it quite a bit.
The relationship with the bf sounds toxic as fuvk.
A family meeting is in order to see if everybody is on the same page. And if so, an intervention forthcoming.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
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Thank you so much for the replies! She is def doing harm to everyone in her life. Her bc has been in trouble for drug paraphernalia, carrying a gun and domestic violence and ingesting a controlled substance to hide it from the cops. I think I said that last one right. My mom, lil sis and i tried an intervention once actually on easter and she just sat there like she didn't care until my mom told her she cares more about her bf than her kids then she ran into the bathroom and locked the door and cried. Do we need to call an interventionist?? When I first found out about all this she said she was scared of the withdrawal which she said she was only using painpills and didn't admit to other drugs but her husband had told us otherwise. Can we do a hair follicle test or something?? She has an excuse for everything which I y I worry about the intervention.
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She's upset because you have called her on her behavior and her bluff. You and your family need to stand your ground. Just tell her mater of factly that you ALL know she is messed up and using and it will need to stop. She is no longer allowed to hurt you, the family and the kids and she will need to get help.
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There is nothing in her behavior that doesn't scream addict. Your descriptions go on and on but can be summed up in one sentence. She's on drugs big time
We all have done similar if not the same things ourselves.
An active addict will do ANYTHING and will say ANYTHING to protect their addiction. The greatest fear that we have is the fear of withdrawal which ties together with the enormous fear of quitting the addiction.
What you are seeing is endless variations of behavior based on those same fears and they go very deep. To say again, AN ADDICT WILL DO ANYTHING AND SAY ANYTHING TO PROTECT THEIR ADDICTION.
We all have done similar if not the same things ourselves.
An active addict will do ANYTHING and will say ANYTHING to protect their addiction. The greatest fear that we have is the fear of withdrawal which ties together with the enormous fear of quitting the addiction.
What you are seeing is endless variations of behavior based on those same fears and they go very deep. To say again, AN ADDICT WILL DO ANYTHING AND SAY ANYTHING TO PROTECT THEIR ADDICTION.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
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Thank you all so much! All of your replies have helped me confirm what I've thought all this time. I told my mom we need to sit her down and tell her we know she's doing some type of drugs or drug even if its "just pills" as I've heard my sis say before those can be just as awful as harder drugs. I will also tell the rest of my family to stay strong and stand our ground even through her denial. She will eventually get tired of defending it right?? At least I hope.
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It's probably just me, but it struck me how everyone jumps on the bandwagon to let this young girl know what drug you think her Sister is on. The only thing I know is that there is a whole lot of information that I don't have. You might consider just asking her, and let her know why you feel suspicious.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
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I don't think it is a bandwagon. She came here asking what we thought she may be on by what she described. I answered as Im sure as everyone did by our own experience by the description. She stated she has asked her and the sister denies anything as we addicts often do.
Good luck fiff...
Good luck fiff...
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