Need a little help
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Join Date: Sep 2014
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Need a little help
Ok so where do I begin. I'm just winging it, I've been addicted to Oxys for 5-8 months now. And it started back in December i witnessed at the time my best friends step dad who was like a father figure in my life, commit suicide and life changed since that moment. I've lost my friends due to drugs and I've been beat up on my front lawn by 2 of my best friends and my "second mom". That happened back in July, since then I've been hard into the opiate use.. I sniff them and I do about 120 mg a day. Now I've been to detox and I couldn't do it, I didn't even last a whole day before I called my dad to pick me up. Now this is the bad part.. I have access too these pills everyday at home.. So I know I'll never be without. But I want to quit. I'm breaking out in rashes all over. My feet have blisters my hands my stomach.
I'm just not healthy anymore and I need some insight please..
I'm just not healthy anymore and I need some insight please..
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 598
Welcome aboard akristinaa27!
I can relate - I liked to snort oxys too, and when I had access and/or the money I would snort up to 15 30mg pills a day!
You can absolutely do this if you want to. I do have to ask why they will be at home? Is someone else prescribed them? I ask because it will be very hard, though not impossible, to have them so accessible to you.
I'm sorry about the things you have been through, certainly sounds bad
But now is the time you can change your life for the better. Sending best wishes your way!
Others with more experience will be along
I can relate - I liked to snort oxys too, and when I had access and/or the money I would snort up to 15 30mg pills a day!
You can absolutely do this if you want to. I do have to ask why they will be at home? Is someone else prescribed them? I ask because it will be very hard, though not impossible, to have them so accessible to you.
I'm sorry about the things you have been through, certainly sounds bad
But now is the time you can change your life for the better. Sending best wishes your way!Others with more experience will be along
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Join Date: Sep 2014
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Originally Posted by EyesOfAStranger 
Welcome aboard akristinaa27! I can relate - I liked to snort oxys too, and when I had access and/or the money I would snort up to 15 30mg pills a day! You can absolutely do this if you want to. I do have to ask why they will be at home? Is someone else prescribed them? I ask because it will be very hard, though not impossible, to have them so accessible to you. I'm sorry about the things you have been through, certainly sounds bad But now is the time you can change your life for the better. Sending best wishes your way! Others with more experience will be along
But now is the time you can change your life for the better. Sending best wishes your way! Others with more experience will be along Holy that's a lot, did you get clean on your own?
Yes someone has a prescription so I don't have to ever pay for them.. Which plays a huge role in quitting, I know I won't dwell on the past once I'm clean.
I'm motivated I just need to keep talking to people, it will help me stay focused .
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 598
I actually did....my usage varied - I'd say that was my highest, but I had been using for a long time. I'd take what I could get....from 5mg percoset all the way up the chain to the 30s. As I said depended on what I could get and the money I had....but would always take as much as I could.
I've been doing the dance for 20 years though, last 10 of them was highly addicted. Started recreationally, then became addicted, then had some serious health problems requiring them, then back to my addicted self.
It was the cycle that really got to me (along with the fact I was spending ALL my money). I was at the point that my use overpowered my stock so I was constantly running out and having to deal with withdrawal until I could get more. I just seemed to be constantly sick, and even when I had them didn't enjoy it like I once did. Obviously there's a lot more - but that was when I realized this was not right.
Definitely keep posting - I found it helped me ton when I first quit. And to be able to talk with people that "get it" was invaluable. I'm only just over two months so I'm short on good advice but long on being able to give support and encouragement!
I've been doing the dance for 20 years though, last 10 of them was highly addicted. Started recreationally, then became addicted, then had some serious health problems requiring them, then back to my addicted self.
It was the cycle that really got to me (along with the fact I was spending ALL my money). I was at the point that my use overpowered my stock so I was constantly running out and having to deal with withdrawal until I could get more. I just seemed to be constantly sick, and even when I had them didn't enjoy it like I once did. Obviously there's a lot more - but that was when I realized this was not right.
Definitely keep posting - I found it helped me ton when I first quit. And to be able to talk with people that "get it" was invaluable. I'm only just over two months so I'm short on good advice but long on being able to give support and encouragement!
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I do definitely like hearing others stories, it just lets me know that there is a light. And most importantly, I'm not alone. My dad is also addicted to them he takes them for pain though. So medically prescribed .. He found out I was using H and I started taking these. My friend was in the hospital for a week straight. And I kind of just stayed on them. He feels bad about the way it is, but at the same time he doesn't want to see me hurting so it's a horrible cycle I'm in. I have no other places to go. My boyfriend is also an addict.. So a lot of huge factors here
And I take about 120-150mg daily just trying to get down to about 50 and under for a week or so. Then I'm going to try cold turkey, I also log my dose from 12am-12pm. Daily.
And I take about 120-150mg daily just trying to get down to about 50 and under for a week or so. Then I'm going to try cold turkey, I also log my dose from 12am-12pm. Daily.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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Read through my threads and posts. I have been an opiate user for years. I always detox alone. I couldn't do it living with a whole prescription but it can be done. can you move out/ Can you go to NA meetings those are free??? If there is a will there is a way. Being on pills does nothing but rob our soul. You coming here is a huge step.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
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Ok so today I feel much better about my goals, I went through the entire night without having any. I just did a half 10mg. Im so determined, there is soo much waiting on me to get clean. I want a future, this isn't a future for me. I will not let it turn into anything more than it is. I just have to keep aware and focused!!
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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Yes my sentiments exactly TE. Do you know how many years I spent planning tapers? They never worked! NEVER! I had great intentions but that was all they were!
I'm not trying to tell you what to do. If you are able to do it...then more power to you! I am here to support you. Just giving you my ES&H.
I will explain why my tapers never worked.
#1 reason is I'm an addict. If I had the ability to taper off opies, It would mean that I have control over how many I take.
Even when the pills were doled out to me....I still had a problem. I went crazy searching for where my husband hid them. Sometimes I found them.....but if I didn't I would nag him relentlessly for just one more! Often times he would get so frustrated he'd give in and refuse to be a part of it.
There were a couple times I tapered semi-successfully.....but the WD were no better then if I had cold turkeyed. It just drew them out longer!
So if you want to give it a try. Good luck!
If not, just cut the cord or rip-off the bandaid.
I'm not trying to tell you what to do. If you are able to do it...then more power to you! I am here to support you. Just giving you my ES&H.
I will explain why my tapers never worked.
#1 reason is I'm an addict. If I had the ability to taper off opies, It would mean that I have control over how many I take.
Even when the pills were doled out to me....I still had a problem. I went crazy searching for where my husband hid them. Sometimes I found them.....but if I didn't I would nag him relentlessly for just one more! Often times he would get so frustrated he'd give in and refuse to be a part of it.
There were a couple times I tapered semi-successfully.....but the WD were no better then if I had cold turkeyed. It just drew them out longer!
So if you want to give it a try. Good luck!
If not, just cut the cord or rip-off the bandaid.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
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Well I have some good news i plan on just taking it say by day!' Monday I had 100 mg and yesterday I had 70 I'm having some good w-d clammy hands and crawling skin. But I have so many playing factors on why I want to yet clean, my only detox option is to go back to detox If I fail this taper. But I'm already feeling improved memory I can remember all my passwords that I usually have to write down. My sense of smell is coming back, I'm just focusing on it one day at a time.
Once I get down to a bit lower of a dose I'm quitting cold turkey. I'm determined. My body can't take this crap anymore and it's really a daily reminder of what I need to do. I appreciate hearing how you've quit. It helps me stay motivated I've seen a few drs and they've all told me one thing. If I fail this taper I need to go in, which I totally except but I'm also ready to be the exception I don't want to be the person who has to go to detox I want to be the rare few who does if on their own. I know I can !!!!
Once I get down to a bit lower of a dose I'm quitting cold turkey. I'm determined. My body can't take this crap anymore and it's really a daily reminder of what I need to do. I appreciate hearing how you've quit. It helps me stay motivated I've seen a few drs and they've all told me one thing. If I fail this taper I need to go in, which I totally except but I'm also ready to be the exception I don't want to be the person who has to go to detox I want to be the rare few who does if on their own. I know I can !!!!
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Kristina I'm happy to see you are motivated to do this and that you were able to drop down some. That's awesome! Keep going! However you chose to do this we are here for your support. If you can successfully taper down its wonderful!
I have done it two different ways. The first time I got clean by a cold turkey detox. That was because I had no other choice. I had ACS after me! Great motivation for sure! I went to an outpatient detox where they gave me comfort meds each day. I think they were anti-D's, benzos, and then naltrexone. I was clean for 4 years until I relapsed. This last time I cold turkeyed for about four days. But I wanted to try sub for maintenance because I had too many failed attempts and was about to lose my family.
You asked the amount I was taking right? Probably similar to what you were taking.....Between 100mgs per day to 150 mgs per day...orally.
But honestly I wasn't very good at keeping track. I would pop them until I ran out and withdrawal until the following Friday. (Payday) we are talking about 3 or 4 days withdrawal each week. It was insane and very uncomfortable. I had reached the point where I was sick and tired of being sick and tired! Which was probably my biggest reason for quitting! That's why I personally could never taper. Because I tried to limit myself to a certain amount per day so that I wouldn't run out early and WD until I could get more. It never worked...even knowing I would be so sick and have to go to work sick....still I couldn't control it. I also tried for years to taper down. That was my plan but I couldn't do it! It was just frustrating me to no end. It's almost like the more I tried to control the more I popped them. Very sick behavior let me tell you! Whatever it is in my brain that says I've had enough must be broken. Because I'm that way with food, cigarettes, alcohol, coffee and pills. Maybe other stuff too...but never got into other stuff. But if I don't try to limit then I'm ok with it. Like I'm only that way when I try to diet. If I don't try then I don't overeat. I'm not fat. But I have the potential of being fat if I diet. Weird right?
I have done it two different ways. The first time I got clean by a cold turkey detox. That was because I had no other choice. I had ACS after me! Great motivation for sure! I went to an outpatient detox where they gave me comfort meds each day. I think they were anti-D's, benzos, and then naltrexone. I was clean for 4 years until I relapsed. This last time I cold turkeyed for about four days. But I wanted to try sub for maintenance because I had too many failed attempts and was about to lose my family.
You asked the amount I was taking right? Probably similar to what you were taking.....Between 100mgs per day to 150 mgs per day...orally.
But honestly I wasn't very good at keeping track. I would pop them until I ran out and withdrawal until the following Friday. (Payday) we are talking about 3 or 4 days withdrawal each week. It was insane and very uncomfortable. I had reached the point where I was sick and tired of being sick and tired! Which was probably my biggest reason for quitting! That's why I personally could never taper. Because I tried to limit myself to a certain amount per day so that I wouldn't run out early and WD until I could get more. It never worked...even knowing I would be so sick and have to go to work sick....still I couldn't control it. I also tried for years to taper down. That was my plan but I couldn't do it! It was just frustrating me to no end. It's almost like the more I tried to control the more I popped them. Very sick behavior let me tell you! Whatever it is in my brain that says I've had enough must be broken. Because I'm that way with food, cigarettes, alcohol, coffee and pills. Maybe other stuff too...but never got into other stuff. But if I don't try to limit then I'm ok with it. Like I'm only that way when I try to diet. If I don't try then I don't overeat. I'm not fat. But I have the potential of being fat if I diet. Weird right?
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Hi everybody!! I've been tapering now 1full week! And I'm down to around 60mgs!!
Out working so I just use this to keep me going. Going to drop down again in a day or two.
I'm doing it!! And I have no interest of doing anymore!! I'm so happy with how far I've come!! Thanks everyone for the support
Out working so I just use this to keep me going. Going to drop down again in a day or two.
I'm doing it!! And I have no interest of doing anymore!! I'm so happy with how far I've come!! Thanks everyone for the support
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Western NY
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Kristina - good job on the taper thus far. Do you have any way to restrict access in the future? I failed at opi tapers because I would almost always screw up on the way down. It was too easy for me to say that I was going to take more today and then do a more aggressive taper starting tomorrow. I used to keep a big spreadsheet with everything planned out. The problem was that I was adjusting the 'plan' everyday.
The one taper that was semi-successful failed once I got to the jump off. Going down on them and getting down to nothing are two different things. Also, as far as withdrawal goes I found length of use to be just as important as daily dose. My point is that it might not be as bad as you are expecting.
If you are looking for inspiration for getting through it I have seen people come off of quite high doses of oxy (>1g/day), and make it through withdrawal. They were fed up with it and desperate to get off. Also, if you check out some of the methadone threads that might help. There were some folks over there coming off of long-term methadone use that had to go to physical jobs during the day.
In my experience, there is no easy way out. Once I accepted that fact it was actually easier, because I realized I just had to bite the bullet. It is going to be tough no matter what way you go about it, but it can absolutely be done with serious effort and determination. Congrats on making it down successfully.
The one taper that was semi-successful failed once I got to the jump off. Going down on them and getting down to nothing are two different things. Also, as far as withdrawal goes I found length of use to be just as important as daily dose. My point is that it might not be as bad as you are expecting.
If you are looking for inspiration for getting through it I have seen people come off of quite high doses of oxy (>1g/day), and make it through withdrawal. They were fed up with it and desperate to get off. Also, if you check out some of the methadone threads that might help. There were some folks over there coming off of long-term methadone use that had to go to physical jobs during the day.
In my experience, there is no easy way out. Once I accepted that fact it was actually easier, because I realized I just had to bite the bullet. It is going to be tough no matter what way you go about it, but it can absolutely be done with serious effort and determination. Congrats on making it down successfully.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,125
Sounds like things are looking up for you. Not trying to scare or deter you, but just please be prepared for the mental assaults that are sure to come. Addiction is not the same for everyone, but there are definitely more similarities than differences. Every time I tapered it seemed inevitable that I would either have a bad day OR just a day where I would say - look how far I have come? I am down from 30 norcos a day to 6! I was so proud of myself that I said okay I am just going to pop a few extra this dose because I deserve a little buzz! That little extra would turn into a little extra again and again and before I knew it I was actually back up to my original amount PLUS some.
I am not saying this to be a downer or thinking you can't do it because you can. It is mind over matter, but unfortunately I found that it was the MIND that was the worst of this thing. Sure the physical addiction sucked and played a major role in my addiction, but I just couldn't keep it together long term. I was like a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode. All it took was for my mind to convince me that I either NEEDED it or DESERVED it and before long I was back to square one. Actually worse than square on because I was more disheartened that I was never going to be able to do it.
So take that with a grain of salt. Tell yourself that you can do it and that you will NOT be one of the many failed taper stories that so many of us have experienced. You CAN DO THIS! You are making progress, but just be vigilant. Realize that you might get disheartened and want to use, but that is normal. Don't feel like just because you WANT to use it means you HAVE to use. It is a natural reaction and you can fight it if you truly want to. Keep reaching out for support and sharing your feelings and you just might make it. You are doing great - keep it up!!!
Good Luck and God Bless!!!
I am not saying this to be a downer or thinking you can't do it because you can. It is mind over matter, but unfortunately I found that it was the MIND that was the worst of this thing. Sure the physical addiction sucked and played a major role in my addiction, but I just couldn't keep it together long term. I was like a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode. All it took was for my mind to convince me that I either NEEDED it or DESERVED it and before long I was back to square one. Actually worse than square on because I was more disheartened that I was never going to be able to do it.
So take that with a grain of salt. Tell yourself that you can do it and that you will NOT be one of the many failed taper stories that so many of us have experienced. You CAN DO THIS! You are making progress, but just be vigilant. Realize that you might get disheartened and want to use, but that is normal. Don't feel like just because you WANT to use it means you HAVE to use. It is a natural reaction and you can fight it if you truly want to. Keep reaching out for support and sharing your feelings and you just might make it. You are doing great - keep it up!!!
Good Luck and God Bless!!!
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