buttercup89

yay, good news for you Butter survived... but it was close ;-) no i guess in the end it wasn't as bad as expected. The blood thing was ok, it was my favorite nurse and we talked about flying and laughed about the questionaire. Lucky me got through the physical examination because we ran of time. 2 vaccines are done, 2 to go. one won't be finished before i leave (need 2 shots) i hope that won't be a problem. Keep your fingers crossed, will ya?

but for today i'm done... my poor nerves

lost, i like tod's adivce that you can wait until you have more time under your belt. Just keep in mind that if this secret affects your gf directly and personally she deserves to know.

cleaninLI

Butter glad you got thru it ok! Yay! Now you can relax right?

Congrats TOD you are doing great! Amazing how you push thru and get so much done! I true inspiration!

Hey lost...yes my kiddos were fast asleep which was why I was up so late. I desperately miss my quiet time! Lol I may be lacking on sleep...but it's worth it just to have a few hours alone to get on here and read and post. I know when the time is right you will make the decision that's right for you. None of us know the dynamic between you and your GF....how will she react...will she be able to forgive...can she and your relationship overcome this? Only you know those answers or have an idea about it. I think all advice was good advice and given to you with good intentions....but in the end it's your decision right?

Just hope whatever your decision is your relationship gets stronger each day. But the main thing is you are clean and sober right? That's awesome lost! You are doing great....keep up the good work!

Hugs back my friend!

buttercup89

More or less clean ;-) there is not enough time to get the full dose of the hep.B vaccine. so i told that my student adviser if that's a problem. i havent heard from
her yet so i'm bit nervous.

oh gosh i just had my last class with one of my favorite students and had my first test as a teacher. tomorrow i work for the last time. i am sure gonna miss teaching. i have some teacher friends in boston so in case i miss it too much i will
be their assistant.lol

how are you all doing?

needingabreak

Hi everyone,
I am still typing on the kindle.
It takes forever and I have to type slow otherwise you get commas after ever word and auto correct making ridiculous changes!
Hoping to get a new computer this week.
Butter how was Germany? I'D like to hear about the restaurants and food you ate. What part did you visit? Sounds like you had a wonderful tome.

Eyes I am so impressed by all you have gone through and conquered. It could not have been easy at all. I cannot tell you how much I applaud your determination and strength to get through all you do. To top it off your attitude is amazing. You have gone through SO MUCH yet can sit here and still say you have it better than some (yes many do not beat cancer' s a**). I want to tell you how much your post helped ME today.
I woke up and was in a terrible mood. You know I am going through menopause (sorry for TMI people), have had my you know what for 12 days. I am tired, no ambition, stressed out and just plain depressed and bitchy. Your post made me feel ashamed of how ridiculous I was being. Outwardly I know how blessed I am. I need to start walking that walk. I hope your days get better, your gums heal quickly and you feel better getting yourself up and out. Hugs.

TOD sorry to hear about your sister. It's so sad. We lost my 21 yr old nephew to an accidental od January 2013. It hits all families.

Clean I too loved hearing your Home Depot story. How are you feeling?
There are so many things I want to get done but I need to get out of my funk first. I was on antidepressants for years and got off them a year or so ago. I have been trying to do other things to fend off the depressed feelings I get from time to time. I do find my patience level is much worse as is my anger level. I'm trying. It's day to day, up and down.
Elsie, Blue, Hk, hope you are doing well.
Hope Mama is enjoying Vegas.

buttercup89

I'm sorry you're feeling down and grumpy needing Some swiss chocolate?

I'm gonna send you a pm. That goes for everyone, if you want to know more about germany and so, i'll send you a pm. I don't mind telling but somehow i don't feel comfortabel sharing it soo publicly... i'm weird lol. just let me know

cleaninLI

Thank you butter! I think we understand....or at least I do.

Needing you are so right about eyes story making you think a little more about gratitude and patience. I feel that way too. But I know that everyone's trials and tribulations are hard for them and they really can't be measured as tough or tougher than others. I guess what I'm trying to say is that everyone has problems of one form or another and they are just as difficult as somebody else's....just different. What you've had to deal with in your life....with your mother and then with your AS....the depression and now even the menopause stuff you're going thru is really hard....so I commend you for getting thru all that and making a wonderful life for yourself and healing....and now today finding that gratitude. You're an amazing person needing.

Hope everyone is having a great day. Mama I miss you! Wish you could check in with us....but I understand you are busy with hubby and enjoying your vacation! So happy for you!

Last night a thunderstorm rolled thru here. It cooled things off a little bit....but now I see temps are going back up and the humidity is getting a little thicker again. So far we've managed to go without AC. Course last night before the storm it was very muggy in the house and hard to sleep. We have two ac's in our garage....but they are very heavy to move and put in the windows.....besides our widows open out instead of up....if you understand what I mean. I am not sure if they even fit properly inside the windows. At one point we had a portable one that could be moved from room to room....but because our landlords refused to let us use it....due to the electricity usage we sold it off of Craig's list. Kind of wish we still had it! Oh well, we do have ceiling fans in most of our rooms except mine and upstairs daughter's room. We are using a box fan in those rooms....need to buy one more though. We have been surviving by taking showers and jumping in the swimming pool. Maybe tonight I will ask hubs to see if we can put the ac's in the windows. At least on really hot and humid days or nights we can run them. Maybe he can figure out a way to put them in the windows. I mainly worry about my little ones....they had trouble sleeping last night due to the heat. I don't want them to get heat stroke or something like that.

I worked on my résumé again. But it's too long....need to cut it down to one page. My kids (daughter) was teasing me about the length and said no one will read that many pages! Ha! I guess I have to figure out how to get what I want to say condensed....I have a problem putting an entire thought out in less words as possible. Can't you tell?

buttercup89

talking about hubby... cleaaaaaan you owe us a report on your experiment lol

i'm sorry it's so hot in your house clean. that's so uncomfortable. but at least you got nice weather. here it's raining soo much we haven't had a real summer so far. Right now in some area there is flooding.

Haha i have the same problem as you. I always need tooo much words or than i suffer from the opposite and have too few. If you want i can try to help you

cleaninLI

Thank you butter! I appreciate that!

Sorry you are getting too much rain! I have to admit we've had plenty of sunshine this summer!

cleaninLI

Oh about the experiment.....that's pending a nice cool day! Too hot right now! Lol

Is that cop out?

buttercup89

hmm is this a secret message? i don't get it

haha okay, but don't forget to report back

needingabreak

Thank you Butter and Clean. Yes everyone does have their own trials Clean and each of us has our own "stuff."
I hope you can find some relief from the humidity. We have an air conditioner in our bedroom as it gets sweltering up there and no ceiling fan. I get hot easily now so it would probably send me over the edge at this point lol
Butter too much rain can be depressing and the flooding is bad. My MIL's house had major flooding one day before she was closing on her house 6 years ago. What a nightmare. People had do much water it was coming to the top of their basement steps and flooding the first floor.
Hope you get t some sunny days soon Butter.

buttercup89

Besides some water in the basement i was luckily never affected by flooding. but the river in our village is pretty high. the floodin at your MIL sounds horrible. I read it a few times here what does "closing on their house" mean?

Tiredofdrugs

Hi everyone!

Waking up on Day 22 w/o pain meds here! I got plenty of sleep and only had to deal with the RLS until my meds kicked in to get rid of it!

Our weather today is beautiful compared to the past two days with 105 temps! It was difficult to breathe outside!

Butter! I see you made it thru the shots! Good going!

Needing! It wasn't my sister that passed! Although we just found out this past Feb my husband's cousin took his own life due to looking at years in prison from dealing and using Meth! Only 23 years old! I hadn't seen him in years. When his grandpa died and we attended the funeral I was blown away at how he looked. He used to weigh around 250 pounds. He looked like a stick figure wearing a suit that just hung on his body frame. So sad! I had heard rumours of his drug use, but didn't know for sure until we saw him at the funeral. Then we find out months later he took his own life.

Some of us fight with every fiber in our being to get away from the drugs/alcohol we are so strongly hanging onto. Many of us make it out alive to go on and live better lives. But there are those that never make it out. I pray they found Peace on the other side!

TOD

buttercup89

haha yes, i made it out alive TOD your hep. a shot story made me laugh, it seems to be a pretty useful method
105? OMG where do you live? that's way too hot, even for me.
Congrats on your 22 days! That's awesome! Keep going.

I've seen you on other threads and i love the way you write about your chickens. So cute

Addiction is such horrible disease. I can't think about it, because i couldn't deal with it. I've only seen a small part of it, but that already broke my heart. I'm so glad that y'all are trying to beat this disease and are doing so well! Keep fighting !!!

cleaninLI

TOD so glad you are making it thru! It's stories like these that frighten me about addiction and make me even more determined to fight this! My bio Dad is one that never made it out alive. He was a chronic alcoholic....suffered from PTSD from serving in the Vietnam war. Lost everything and became homeless. I met him at the bus depot....very bitter sweet moment meeting him for the first time. Shortly after that, he died in a trailer of cirrhosis of the liver. I had no idea except that I woke from a dream I had about him. In the dream he told me he was finally at peace...told me to take care of my mother and that was it....I awoke feeling that he had indeed died. So I called his last known address....a different bus depot in another town where he had a locker. The lady told me which trailer park it was. So I called the office and the lady who answered told me that yes he had died..where and how...and that my half brothers and sisters had just stopped by to clean out the trailer.
He was 50....same age as I am now. I called the vital statistics in that town and the lady sent me a copy of his death certificate...the obituary from the paper. That is all I have of my father.....that and a picture of him when he was younger with my half sisters. I do not want to follow in his footsteps!

One of my half sisters lives in Boston btw eyes and butter. Maybe someday I'll go there to meet her. It's just hard for me....can't explain why...it just is....lots of emotions about it.

Anyway congrats to everyone on their way to recovery....who beat this ugly monster...addiction!

Whoops just as I was writing my son spilled his juice! All over the carpet! Better get to cleaning!

buttercup89

oh clean... i don't know what to say, your story is heartbreaking ((((((hugs)))))))

Tiredofdrugs

Butter: Well good! I shared the Hep A shot story with ya so that it might give you a laugh and show we all go thru some difficult times getting shots! I've known that doctor for years before receiving the shot, we had a good friendship within the unit. When he kept telling me to relax and to put my weight all on one leg. I kept telling him I WAS! He kept saying NO you aren't! So when he slapped my butt and I put all my weight on the other leg, he started laughing and said "That's what I'm talking about"! It was all quite hysterical during the 10 minutes to get that shot done! That was a painful one too! It was like having ice cold vaseline injected into my butt!

I live in Arkansas! We've actually had a relatively nice summer this year! We've had the really hot days and then a cold spell soon afterwards. We are usually in the 100+ temps for several months before Fall gets here. We are having another cool spell this week! I'll take it!

Yeah our chickens are our kids here! Maria being the most spoiled of them. I posted pictures of her silly self earlier this morning on The Animal Planet Thread! Right after Clean's Mimi pictures! Such a cutie!

I've always been afraid of the "street drugs" so I never got into them. I guess that's a wonderful thing in my perspective! Or I'd probably have to be weaning myself off those too. It also had a whole lot to do with being in the AD Army too. Didn't want to get kicked out for using illegal drugs. I've never had a problem with alcohol either! Just not my thing! I would love it if my husband would get off the pain meds and they would NOT be around our property AT ALL. I've told him to keep them well hid and if I find them I'm flushing them. I bet you can guess I haven't found any - HUH?

TOD

buttercup89

Haha i guess i would have been quite confused if my doc had slapped me on my butt lol.
i didn't know that arkansas is so hot. somehow i always imagined it's cold there. but i also thought wisconsin is near texas lol

i will go and check the pictures.

BlueChair

Hey Lost. Im on the family side too, didnt know if you were aware of this. My husband wasnt even using prescribed drugs, his favorite was cocaine. It was a very big shock when I found out he was using, and then worse when I found out a lot of the things he did while using. It took me time to process all of it, and I went through stages of being angry, sad, but mostly in the end I discovered for me my emotions were driven by fear because I loved him, and our life so much. Hes been great at helping me through it all. Patient, willing to share and be honest even with the hard stuff. We have got past it now and I have more respect for him than I ever have. What hes gone through this past year has been really hard. Its been hard for me too, but now Ive come this far I feel like Ive been made stronger, and can handle the unexpected more easily. Its sort of funny, something will happen at work and everyone will be What are we going to do, this is horrible, this is going to ruin everything, And Im thinking seriously people this is no big deal, calm yourselves down, and lets start looking for solutions. Even with our squirrel rescue recently, it was like ok we can handle this, and we did !!

I think YOU will grow stronger as your recovery continues, and I hope you get a new confidence. Hopefully your relationship with the GF will survive, and get stronger having faced a challenge too.

If your doctor is suggesting you wait a while before telling her, then I think wait until your at a good place for the emotional stuff. Im assuming she's safe and its just a matter of disclosure.

BlueChair

I think Wisconsin the USA state of CHEESE !!