Audioaddict

Once again. Here I am. I threw away 8 months of freedom from these bitches and here I am withdrawing again. I'm not off yet. I'm down to 3.5 10mg/day. I have a spreadsheet that says I will take my last 1/2 pill Sunday next week.

Last time I weened real fast. I suffered. Bad. For at least 2 weeks. Then the next 6 months were less than pleasant. I really never felt great again. Then Superbowl Sunday came and I had a killer headache. My wife had some and I knew she'd share. If you've ever been a junkie like me then you know where this went.

So 5 months later I'm taking 7-8 10mgs/day. Hating life. Hating myself. It's
time to pay my debt.

Surely I've learned this time?

I do everything to extremes. I'm not a Billy Joel fan but his song "I go to extremes" has been going through my head as I think about how I've lived my 36 years on this earth. So, quitting will be done with extremes. I've bought a juicer and after next week I'm going to try the "reboot for life" juicing plan. I've done it once before. It's hardcore. I feel like I need something else to throw my energy towards to help take my mind off of the pain.

Wish me luck.

EyesOfAStranger

Hi Audio....well welcome to the opiates club, I am a full fledged member (though oxy is my preference)! Wishing you all the luck that you will be sober here with us next week!!!

Audioaddict

Well. I'm practically sober. I took 1 pill after lunch at work at 2.5 after dinner at home. Of course I was expecting a buzz. Nothing but disappointment. I'm glad I never had a connect for Oxy's. I'm sure I would have loved them. I hope to join you shortly as well.

11years

I have been in pain mgmt for 11 years next month. I went at my first true try of quitting and did not go back to pain mgmt appointment, and I took Percoct, usually 2 to 2.5 per day a half at a time, so 25 mg of Oxycodone with Tylenol throughout the day. I made it two days last week but I think I had stressed myself out so much about giving up my "normal" I said forget it, and all the sneezing and eyes watering, runny nose, yawning. I know my mother had an old RX she won't take and I have probably had 7.5 mg of oxycodone a day for this week. Hoping withdrawal won't be as noticeable since I've been denying myself my 7 or 8:00 p.m. 1/2 a pill settle in and my morning one I was freaking out and asking myself why would I want to even live like that? Then found half of one of mine, and, wow, relief. Listening to the audiobook The Goldfinch by Donna Tarte, it has an excellent section in there about the withdrawals and your brain and on and on. Described what I had been feeling to a T. I also think I need to try vitamins or juicing or something, I need clarity again. I always told myself since I never took more than prescribed and actually always took less than prescribed I didn't have a problem with it. Yeah, sure, I don't. It's my normal. The lower dose ones don't give me that little bit of rush like the other ones I took did, so hoping that helps me to lose interest, too. Things need to change, I am in a rut. Good luck to you!

SparklingSeven

I am the same - do everything to extremes. It's SO easy to slip back into using and then...
You never know where that will end.
Good on you getting off again. Maybe best not trying to give up too much all at once (juicing etc.).
If you remove all pleasures too early, its easy to fall back into using...for me anyway r

Anyway, I hope the early days go well! Hang in there!!

EyesOfAStranger

I always felt that way about heroin. Fortunately I never had opportunity to be around it or try it, but I know if I had I would have loved it and been off and running and probably gone by now.

Glad to hear you are staying with your taper....I have had good and bad experiences with them. More often than not I didn't stick with them, and would find a way to rationalize taking more than I allotted myself and then run out before I meant to. I have also been successful with it, as I was this time around, and for me it helped a bit. I was taking such high doses (up to 15 30mgs pills a day when I could, so, uh 450mgs of oxy, oh geez) that for me it did help slightly reduce my withdrawals.

It's not for everyone, and when you do finally jump off you still will have withdrawals of course, no way to avoid them completely, but I hope it does make it a bit easier for you. Wishing you the best and keep us updated! Read here, and post. I really found it helps Interacting with people who understand what you are going through and "get it" is invaluable.

AlexThedude

Norco was the first opiate I had a steady connect for... and it was the first time I experienced opiate withdrawals. the sting of opiates is one of the least pleasant things in this world... good luck. I'm on day 2 off a slight habit of heroin and morphine, I feel your pain... so far, I've been smoking weed and it's been numbing the pain a bit, I know a lot of people are against pot on here... but it's helping me not be on morphine, heh.

33Saint

Yes, Norco guy here. In the past 4 years, have taken thousands! Any thing with hydrocodone in it, and I was good to go. Finally got on Suboxone, as it was to hard for me to continue this ride straight to hell! Day 6 of subxone, and no cravings, no withdrawals. I go to AA and NA and have developed a support system for an issue that nobody knew about besides me. I now have accountability, and I will succeed. I'm on 8mg of sub per day, and no, at least for me, there is no euphoria etc. I will beat this with many tools at my disposal.

Ashamedof

Hi Audio! Norco was my first love before I was introduced to blues...that's when my life started to fall apart. We all have that one doc that tries to control us, don't we? A stupid choice I made a year ago in texting a known heroin junky looking for pills has turned me into a person I don't even know anymore. I'm on day 5 with the help of suboxone. It's given me some hope back. I even turned down a text from my dealer and that's a huge deal because as soon as I see those 2 words "need anything?" I'm off and running. I think the ritual of how we obtained our drugs is just as addicting as doing them. I find myself thinking of ways to get my doc but it quickly vanishes now, it's not an obsession like it normally is. I think I have the suboxone to thank for that. It's been a couple weeks , how are you doing now? I sure hope you're better, check in. We're here for you.

AlexThedude

"I think the ritual of how we obtained our drugs is just as addicting as doing them." Once a path starts, it's difficult to turn around if it's all downhill...
Just thinking about tin foil reminds me of that particular ritual, and makes my heart race...

Ashamedof

Alex, it really does. When I saw that text yesterday? I started sweating so bad and was abut to have a panic attack. I was able to calm myself down by cleaning but it was hard and I thought about it all night and even this morning! I know that I can't use but my brain is trying it's best to trick me into using. Today I'm going to exercise , hoping it will help my anxiety and bring back some healthy endorphins. How are you feeling today?

TiredEnough

Norcos for me. I tried several but I always came back to trusty hydro.

Audioaddict

Well, I vanished because the weening failed. Right now I'm on day 1 of no pills. I only took a half of a norco yesterday so it wasn't much better. Right now I'm prescribing myself red wine, cigarettes, and loud pink floyd, Alice in chains, etc. I know the wine is no good but it did kick me off on 8 months hydrocodone free last time. I'm crawling out of my skin right now. Desperate for the peak of this hell to pass. Wish me luck.

Audioaddict

Let me add that with all my failures, there is no doubt that one day I will win. I am a strong willed person. I dropped meth years ago like it was nothing. Opiates are definitely a special nasty kind of beast.

TiredEnough

Make this the last time

brian810

Wish you the best man once a month I bought a script off a guy of those little pink oxys that was my choicw heck i'd buy anything hang in there

Audioaddict

Thanks guys. If I can just survive this first week, I've got this. I truly think I've learned my lesson with those evil little bastards.

brian810

Yep they are evil how longs it been since you took any three days here don't want any either tired of living for them and not me

OpioPhobe

Audio - setting aside any of the cross addiction issues with the booze I found it to be a terrible substance to help with opi withdrawals. Withdrawal was bad enough alone, but withdrawal and a nasty hangover are even worst. There were some nights where I would keep drinking a glass every 30 mins hoping to pass out eventually. I would finally knock myself out and then wake up after a couple hours in the worst shape. Anyway, it sounds like you already have personal experience with it, but just my 2 cents.

"Pink Floyd and AIC" - with good tastes in music like I think you are all set there. The only thing is that I would tend to listen to a handful of good songs over and over. Now, every time I hear the song it reminds me of withdrawal. Literally, some songs that I used to like I don't even listen to any more. I'm not sure if there is much that can be done to remedy that unless you want to stick to B-side music.

Best of luck with the withdrawal.

Audioaddict

Haha, it didn't ruin this music for me last time. That would be terrible. Pink Floyd "Coming Back to Life" is my anthem right now. It actually makes my eyes start to water a little. That's not a normal thing to me. I notice that coming off the pills my senses, emotional and physical, return with a vengeance. I'm sitting in my man cave, lights off, with good ole Dark Side of the Moon blaring right now. It gives me a high of its own.