EyesOfAStranger

Hey Audio! I have thought of you several times. When you didn't come back that Sunday, I had a feeling things did not go as you planned. But no matter, you are here now! Believe me, I know how tough it is, I agree that opiates are their own kind of special, no doubt. Sending nothing but good wishes and thoughts your way!

Audioaddict

Thanks all! Another night down. Wasn't running to the bathroom all night. Still have the ***** though. Slept about 5 hours. That's 2 more than Monday night. I'm thinking the withdrawals may have peaked yesterday.

OpioPhobe

Audio - ah, a fan of the David Gilmour era. I thought they put out some great material then. Have you ever checked out Waters' solo material? It's pretty solid too.

The non-opi folks probably won't get this part, but I actually didn't mind the 'digestive' issues that came with withdrawal. It was a lot better than chugged milk of magnesia at night and then hitting the head in the mornings getting geared up for the battle of my life. Damn, that was one of the worst things with the opis. There is a silver lining in everything.

Audioaddict

Haha. Had a long Facebook argument last night about whether that even counts as Floyd lol.

Sleep was slightly better last night. I think I might have topped the mountain. I took a sick day from work and laid around all day. Wasn't doing all that bad till a couple hours ago. Hoping tomorrow will be better.

Audioaddict

Well... Night 3 turned bad. I've been hurting bad tonight. I'm not so sure about topping the mountain. The WD's hit hard. Just came on a little later. Still here though. Such a strange pain. There is no way to explain it. Some say it's like the flu. That's not it. Best description I can give is "an overwhelming since of discontent, both physically and emotionally". Regardless, I am soldiering onward.

Audioaddict

I upset my wife a little last night with wine fueled ramblings about what the **** am I even on this earth for. Relax though, I'm not suicidal lol. I have children that need me. I have no choice but to survive. My 3 beautiful kids need me. And not just here, but here at my best. However, there is no doubt that if it wasn't for my love for them, continuing my existence on this earth would be hard to justify.

OpioPhobe

Audio - nights were the worst for me, and specifically the 3rd night into the fourth day. Hang in there brother. Have you tried a hit bath yet tonight? If not, that might be something to try. I know it sounds stupid, but a hot bath would help me more than prescription meds sometimes.

I would have messed up thoughts like that all the time during withdrawal. "This **** is never going to end...I ****** my brain up permanently...I just want to drop dead, etc., etc." Whenever it got that bad it would tend to ease up not long after.

Audioaddict

Slept a full night. I took a full milligram of Xanax. I had to work today. Too much had already been put off. Plan is to return to 1/2 mil tonight.

I had committed to go on a mountain bike ride after work. I didn't punk out. It was almost 100 degrees and crazy humid. Pushed myself hard. Flipped over the handlebars lol (shoulders a little sore but I'm good). Came home and today is the day our maid comes so the house was nice and my wife had cooked an awesome dinner.

My friend who I ride with doesn't know what I'm going through. He was excited that he was keeping up with me today lol. We've been doing 3 days a week so I've now committed to a ride after work tomorrow and again on Saturday.

My closest friends know why I don't want to be around anyone right now. I can't tell my riding partner because he's a banker and I don't want word spreading to other bankers that I'm a junkie. Would be bad for business. So I have no choice but to push myself to the extreme. I think it might have helped a little.


The pain is setting in a little later tonight than last night. I'm definitely getting better.

Audioaddict

Day 5.

Oddly, late afternoon & morning got pretty rough. Not so bad that I couldn't work though.

I went through with the bike ride. A cool front had just blown in. Couldn't have been a better time. 70 degrees with a breeze. Went almost 2 hours and could have done more.

Hopefully, the late evening pains will be less. Time will tell.

OpioPhobe

Audio - the bone / leg pain would last for a while for me. At the longest though they were gone by day 10. Then it kind of became a 'lead suit' phase where in the evenings I would get massively fatigued like I put on a lead suit or something. Getting off the couch would be a chore, but that period of fatigue would get shorter and shorter each day.

Exercise would definitely help me, but it was tough getting started. That is great that you have a riding buddy to make it harder to blow it off. 5 days is great man.

Audioaddict

Thanks for everyone's support.

Day 6. Entering what I like to call the "malaise" phase. It's mostly mental now. Life is missing that spark. Carrying on regardless.

Audioaddict

Closing out week 1. Plan is to limit alcohol to one night a week starting tomorrow. I got drunk last night. Had a little pity party for myself and passed out. Now I have two reasons to feel bad today.

Audioaddict

Day 8. I woke up about 3AM and never went back to sleep. Survived work. I feel a little better today but am needing sleep. Not drinking tonight as planned.

brian810

Glad to here you aren't drinking take it from me that's a nasty road to follow DTs from alcohol is worse than than withdraws from opiates except have some libriuum like yhey gave me in the hospital

youngconfused

I too have tried to quit unsuccessfully a million times it's so frustrating how just one can lead to so many I hope your plan works I hope mine does this time too so sick of thinking about them how boring and mundane is the life of a pill addict thinking about these things day in and out keep strong

youngconfused

And omg I totally agree with AlextheDude me trying to obtain the pills was very addicting the highs and lows will I get them? Do they have any left? That is or was a real high for me good point!

Audioaddict

Day 9 sure started off great! I felt pretty good this morning. Not awesome, but I finally felt prepared to take on the day. I slept almost all the way through last night. I'm still taking .5 mg of Xanax every night. That supply will run out on Saturday.

It's 2:30 now and I can feel the lethargy starting to set in. I expect that to be here for a while. Probably months. At least the worst is in the past.

Young Confused, I've tried several different methods. Weening, using Kratom, and cold turkey.

Weening never worked because I had enough to catch a buzz, so, of course I took them all and caught a buzz lol.

Kratom never worked because I just became dependent on something else. I feel like this is just prolonging the inevitable WDs.

When I made it almost 9 months on my last go around it started just like this. But I drank every night. It was usually a moderate amount (6 pack or so), but I think this may have been why it took so long to feel normal again.

TiredEnough

Are you exercising? That really helps the sluggish feeling.

EyesOfAStranger

Great job Audio! Just wanted to say congrats - 9 days is huge! Believe me I know how hard it is, probably feels like it's been 9 months! That's how it felt for me. But day by day that gets better too.

cleaninLI

Audio addict congrats on your 9 days!