opiates
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 4
opiates
3rd time physically relapsing. Was stupid and did them again for 2 weeks straight and bam here comes the depression, *****, and restlessness. But I had to quit this last time while I was pregnant but the whole time all I could think about was wanting to get high again. What a life. I'm so ******* sick of this. I started 2 years ago when I was in a bad suicidal thinking depression and the pills made me forget about life. I could find a dub of h to take off the tension but I know h will be just as bad as when I was hooked on methadone. The methadone was to wean myself off tabs but Damn how much better done feel than tabs. But I tell myself to not get in that deep again for my baby. It's true when they say even when you withdrawls you will always have the mental demon inside you.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: mass
Posts: 1
have to tell you I know how you feel. withdraws is the most uncomfortable thing I've ever felt in my entire life.I had a back surgery 2 months ago.however I've been on and off opiates the last 15 years sometimes for fun but mostlyit was prescribed by doctor. will say that the pain from the back surgery was very bad and there was no way around not taking opiates. however they make you feel very nice suggestion maybe a suboxone doctor? if its only 2 weeksit is possible to taper down if you have anything left? I have been able to do that. But the most important thing is self control? which I'll have to say I have a limited amount of myself? the very most important thing you have to dois not for your baby but for yourself you have to love you before you love anybody else.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Prescott, Arizona
Posts: 6
3rd time physically relapsing. Was stupid and did them again for 2 weeks straight and bam here comes the depression, *****, and restlessness. But I had to quit this last time while I was pregnant but the whole time all I could think about was wanting to get high again. What a life. I'm so ******* sick of this. I started 2 years ago when I was in a bad suicidal thinking depression and the pills made me forget about life. I could find a dub of h to take off the tension but I know h will be just as bad as when I was hooked on methadone. The methadone was to wean myself off tabs but Damn how much better done feel than tabs. But I tell myself to not get in that deep again for my baby. It's true when they say even when you withdrawls you will always have the mental demon inside you.
That's why it is super important to attend meetings and get a sponsor.
I don't have much time clean - just got a year clean, but I still battle with the demon. If I don't go to a meeting after a few days, my mind starts going haywire again and all these thoughts pop up. Sometimes after just one hour of a meeting, I will always hear something that I needed to, and be reassured that I don't need to use. Then I will have another 24 hours clean.
And by the grace of God, I have a years' worth of 24 hours clean. For me I really just stayed in the today. Some days were bad, some were good..but every day was successful when I didn't pick up.
Around 6 months clean I went through a really dark time..I suffer form bipolar disorder and was really depressed, and on no medication. I wanted to go back out. For about 2 weeks straight everyday I would tell myself "I am going to not pick up today, but who knows tomorrow" and if I felt crappy the next day i would tell myself "Ok one more day of not using then maybe I will tomorrow" I kept doing that for weeks- until I went to my doctor and was put on the right medication. It took about 3 weeks for it to start working, so in those 3 weeks I didn't accomplish much of anything- except that I didn't use.
At the time it seemed like the longest few weeks of my life, and that was only 6 months ago and it's like I have forgotten it ever happened. So bad times will ALWAYS pass. I look back now and think, I am so happy I chose not to use.
It is very hard to not want to use when we know for the moment, the drug will relieve your pain and depression- but only for the moment, instant gratification never lasts. Sometimes I had to play the whole story out in my head. Like, OK if I used right now, I would either not be able to stop and lose all my money, or I would stop and feel like absolute crap and probably lose my job because I would have to call in, or I could get caught and be arrested, go to jail and lose my job and my friends, relatives respect. That could all happen from just "one more time" That helped me make it through.
H withdrawals are HORRIBLE I still remember the day i came off of it. I felt like death would be easier. The house manager in my rehab said "if you stick it out, you will never have to feel this way again, if you don't stick it out, you'll have many days where you feel this way again" So I made a decision, and did a lot of praying.
Now waking up in the morning feeling great is a blessing. Not worrying about where to get my next fix or how to get money to get it. Not worrying about being sick, or not having enough to stay well so I can go to work in the morning. I was always, ALWAYS worrying. Because it was never enough- I had to have more.
Sticking it out through those horrible sick days was worth it. It really was. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: okc, ok
Posts: 107
It has been almost two years since I logged on here. I just went through some real sad times with family and today, called the doctor to test the water for getting a norco scrip. I have been agonizing over it and came here to remind myself why that was a bad idea.
Thankfully, you guys are still here telling it like it is.
Thankfully, you guys are still here telling it like it is.
Andy, a year clean is great! I hope to be there one day. You're right it is a constant struggle. My dealer has been hitting me up non stop and it's getting to the point where I might just need to change my number. Actually, I know thats what I need to do but for some reason having HER number is a safety net for me....just in case I might want to pick up from her. It's silly but just being honest.
Margarok, did you pick up the script? I hope not. Glad you came here first!
Fishak, 6 days is an accomplishment. When I was using 6 days seemed like a decade and I could only wish to not use for 6 days. Keep it up!
Margarok, did you pick up the script? I hope not. Glad you came here first!
Fishak, 6 days is an accomplishment. When I was using 6 days seemed like a decade and I could only wish to not use for 6 days. Keep it up!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Western NY
Posts: 1,209
Avery - it's funny you mentioned the safety net because it reminded me of something I read last night. When Cortez landed in the New World everyone was scared to march inland and they stayed on the coast with their ships still in sight. Cortez decided the only way to get his troops to commit was to burn all of the ships. He did so where everyone could see. They had no choice at that point and they were committed. If you are committed to quitting you need to burn those ships!
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