How was your day? Part 5
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
Work in Progress
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,142
Thanks Dee!
I love a fresh thread.
My day was pretty good. This saying no and setting boundaries thing is great. I'm not over worked and I'm I have more peace of mind and can enjoy life a little more. I feel a little guilty but for what? We're supposed to work to live. Not live to work. I'm sober and feel good and that's a great thing.
I love a fresh thread.
My day was pretty good. This saying no and setting boundaries thing is great. I'm not over worked and I'm I have more peace of mind and can enjoy life a little more. I feel a little guilty but for what? We're supposed to work to live. Not live to work. I'm sober and feel good and that's a great thing.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: California
Posts: 123
I had the person who I used to get my pills from call me today and ask if I was getting my pills from somewhere else. It's been 2 weeks since I bought any. I'm sure I funded a lot of her fun times this year and also paid a lot of her bills. I'm already seeing a difference in my bank account. Dear dealer, I am no longer a customer. Thank you
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Decbaby I had to remind myself of that too! I was caught in that viscous cycle of working to make money to buy pills so that I could go to work! Ugh! Thank God when I do go back to work it will be to make money to enjoy my life more.....work will NOT BECOME my life. I don't know if you have bosses like I did who love to play the "guilt" card? They can be pretty convincing too. (Sigh) I'm glad you have your prioririties in order though and I'm soo happy you are clean and sober! You are such an inspiration for us all decbaby!
Hugs girlfriend!
AverieMarie did you tell your dealer you don't want pills anymore? It's also good to block her number. It's very common for dealers to suddenly "owe" you a few or give you a couple "extras" when they think they are loosing a good customer. I'm sure I kept my dealer.....well-stocked with weed. That was his DOC.
You are doing great! Glad you joined us!
Hugs girlfriend!
AverieMarie did you tell your dealer you don't want pills anymore? It's also good to block her number. It's very common for dealers to suddenly "owe" you a few or give you a couple "extras" when they think they are loosing a good customer. I'm sure I kept my dealer.....well-stocked with weed. That was his DOC.
You are doing great! Glad you joined us!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,258
I so hear that…..nice to NOT buy pills. NICE to not be going to pharmacy's once again. Day 15 here sober. Just got back from lunch time AA meeting. I am learning by listening so much of my using is deeper then just picking up. FEAR is one of the ones I am seeing. Hearing others talk, not feeling so alone, realizing I could NEVER do this alone is what is helping me. I tried for 15 years to do it alone, and with only 15 days I am no where in the clear, nor will I ever be but clear for today.
Loving these meetings and the topics. Loving realizing my fear, humility, anger, resentments, judgements, are feelings that I need to feel and discuss. Not coat with drugs and booze.
Miss and think of you all, I am trying my best.
Loving these meetings and the topics. Loving realizing my fear, humility, anger, resentments, judgements, are feelings that I need to feel and discuss. Not coat with drugs and booze.
Miss and think of you all, I am trying my best.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Santa Monica, CA
Posts: 168
Felt pretty good today. I hit 25 days sober today and that time really flew by!
The best part is that a couple days ago my brother decided to sober up too.
I'm still having a lot of nightmares and waking up extremely groggy, but I feel so much better throughout the day.
It's always good to know that there's tons of people going through the same thing. A lot of people on the forums feel like they are going through this alone, but they're not!
The best part is that a couple days ago my brother decided to sober up too.
I'm still having a lot of nightmares and waking up extremely groggy, but I feel so much better throughout the day.
It's always good to know that there's tons of people going through the same thing. A lot of people on the forums feel like they are going through this alone, but they're not!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Santa Monica, CA
Posts: 168
Felt pretty good today. I hit 25 days sober today and that time really flew by!
The best part is that a couple days ago my brother decided to sober up too.
I'm still having a lot of nightmares and waking up extremely groggy, but I feel so much better throughout the day.
It's always good to know that there's tons of people going through the same thing. A lot of people on the forums feel like they are going through this alone, but they're not!
The best part is that a couple days ago my brother decided to sober up too.
I'm still having a lot of nightmares and waking up extremely groggy, but I feel so much better throughout the day.
It's always good to know that there's tons of people going through the same thing. A lot of people on the forums feel like they are going through this alone, but they're not!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Hiya guys!
Mk you're doing great! So glad to see you really taking strides! Final you too! I can see these meetings really make a difference for you! Awesome guys!
Trikuza welcome to our thread! 25 days sober is AWESOME! It must be wonderful to see your brother doing it too! We lead by example don't we?
Nothing has changed on the house, so I'm not going there today! I need a break from worry and frustration!
I don't know if you guys know that we bought a pet bunny rabbit. Her name is Mimi, or at least the shorten version is. We have all fallen in love with her! Yesterday, we kept the top part of her cage off so she could run around and hop in and out of her box. Oh my she kept us so entertained! Ha! She comes up to us and licks our feet or jumps onto her hind legs to get our attention. She loves to be petted and talked to. She's not so much into being held though. She will tolerate it but you can tell she isn't thrilled....mainly when the kids hold her. I had to remind my kids to let Mimi be herself. I think it was good that we got her now vs. waiting to move because my youngest had her heart set on a kitty and was getting more and more impatient about when we would move so she could get her pet cat. My daughter was the one that persuaded us to look at the pets in the pet shop. I guess, since its so close to Easter and being springtime and all there were cages upon cages of bunnies. All different kinds.....big ones, small one...ears that flopped ears that stood up straight....even a few that had both. One floppy one straight....assortment of colors. I even saw lion face bunnies for the first time. Mimi was just sitting in the corner, chilling in a cage brimming with baby bunnies. Most were jumping and rolling all over each other but Mimi was just sitting there watching. I asked to pick her up....after picking a few of the other ones and I couldn't get over how calm she was. She seemed to say "take me home!" The owner said he felt she liked people and never fussed when someone held her. I have a picture of her posted here but it's on the animal planet thread...in the cafe section. Maybe tomorrow while my daughter is home I'll get her to teach me how to post more pics.
Ok, so that's the highlight of my life right now! What's going on with you?
Mk you're doing great! So glad to see you really taking strides! Final you too! I can see these meetings really make a difference for you! Awesome guys!
Trikuza welcome to our thread! 25 days sober is AWESOME! It must be wonderful to see your brother doing it too! We lead by example don't we?
Nothing has changed on the house, so I'm not going there today! I need a break from worry and frustration!
I don't know if you guys know that we bought a pet bunny rabbit. Her name is Mimi, or at least the shorten version is. We have all fallen in love with her! Yesterday, we kept the top part of her cage off so she could run around and hop in and out of her box. Oh my she kept us so entertained! Ha! She comes up to us and licks our feet or jumps onto her hind legs to get our attention. She loves to be petted and talked to. She's not so much into being held though. She will tolerate it but you can tell she isn't thrilled....mainly when the kids hold her. I had to remind my kids to let Mimi be herself. I think it was good that we got her now vs. waiting to move because my youngest had her heart set on a kitty and was getting more and more impatient about when we would move so she could get her pet cat. My daughter was the one that persuaded us to look at the pets in the pet shop. I guess, since its so close to Easter and being springtime and all there were cages upon cages of bunnies. All different kinds.....big ones, small one...ears that flopped ears that stood up straight....even a few that had both. One floppy one straight....assortment of colors. I even saw lion face bunnies for the first time. Mimi was just sitting in the corner, chilling in a cage brimming with baby bunnies. Most were jumping and rolling all over each other but Mimi was just sitting there watching. I asked to pick her up....after picking a few of the other ones and I couldn't get over how calm she was. She seemed to say "take me home!" The owner said he felt she liked people and never fussed when someone held her. I have a picture of her posted here but it's on the animal planet thread...in the cafe section. Maybe tomorrow while my daughter is home I'll get her to teach me how to post more pics.
Ok, so that's the highlight of my life right now! What's going on with you?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: California
Posts: 123
Clean, I have not blocked her number. And you're right! She said she would give me a discount and throw in extras. I just need to erase her from my life. It's hard as we have a few friends in common. I really need to cut the umbilical cord on that one. Part of me is not wanting to do it cuz I view it as a safety net for "just in case" situations. Stupid right? That's just setting myself up for failure. She wants to have lunch tomorrow. I really think that if I told her I was in outpatient rehab, she would understand. BUT, at the same time, I'm sure she's hurting right now for not getting her usual $600 a week from me. Wow....I'm thinking of all the things I could have done with that $$......
Recovered from Hopeless State
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
Originally Posted by AveryMarie 
Clean, I have not blocked her number. And you're right! She said she would give me a discount and throw in extras. I just need to erase her from my life. It's hard as we have a few friends in common. I really need to cut the umbilical cord on that one. Part of me is not wanting to do it cuz I view it as a safety net for "just in case" situations. Stupid right? That's just setting myself up for failure. She wants to have lunch tomorrow. I really think that if I told her I was in outpatient rehab, she would understand. BUT, at the same time, I'm sure she's hurting right now for not getting her usual $600 a week from me. Wow....I'm thinking of all the things I could have done with that $$......
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: California
Posts: 123
One more thing....even though I have a decent job I have a job interview today for a much better position. Wish me luck! I never had the confidence before. At one time the pills gave that to me but once you start taking 30 and 40 and 50 a day, I felt like nothing.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Averymarie probably each one of us feared cutting that cord. I know I did for sure! If you can't bring yourself to do it right now....it's ok. Recovery is one step at a time. You are doing great so far. I'm sure as you move further along you will be able to take that step.
I will tell you this...... when you are ready it will help you. The cravings will become less because you would have cut your sources. Your mind will not be able to linger on "should I give her a quick call....maybe get a few for the weekend?" Or " I'm so upset right now...a couple will help me calm down" or "see how good I'm doing....I don't think I have a problem anymore?" Or " ok, I'll just buy a few to help her out...she's so used to my $600 a week."
Instead, when your AV starts chattering you can tell it. "Well, I don't even have access to pills anymore, so that's not an option, next?" Then you mind can figure out something else to do to have fun or feel better. It's funny but I read here that someone actually paid their dealer to NOT call them anymore. Ha!
So, if you really want to help your friend, you can help her in other ways, like helping her to find a job or set up a legit business or take her out someplace fun....lunch or to a movie maybe, because IF you plan on keeping her in your life. ( which I do not recommend....as they say we need to stay away from people, places and things. ) she needs to know and except that you DO NOT take those anymore. If she can respect that....it's all good, but, if she can't.....you need to think about YOU and your recovery first and foremost. A true friend will understand....and WILL NOT give you pills!
As time goes on you will learn just who your true friends are!
I will tell you this...... when you are ready it will help you. The cravings will become less because you would have cut your sources. Your mind will not be able to linger on "should I give her a quick call....maybe get a few for the weekend?" Or " I'm so upset right now...a couple will help me calm down" or "see how good I'm doing....I don't think I have a problem anymore?" Or " ok, I'll just buy a few to help her out...she's so used to my $600 a week."
Instead, when your AV starts chattering you can tell it. "Well, I don't even have access to pills anymore, so that's not an option, next?" Then you mind can figure out something else to do to have fun or feel better. It's funny but I read here that someone actually paid their dealer to NOT call them anymore. Ha!
So, if you really want to help your friend, you can help her in other ways, like helping her to find a job or set up a legit business or take her out someplace fun....lunch or to a movie maybe, because IF you plan on keeping her in your life. ( which I do not recommend....as they say we need to stay away from people, places and things. ) she needs to know and except that you DO NOT take those anymore. If she can respect that....it's all good, but, if she can't.....you need to think about YOU and your recovery first and foremost. A true friend will understand....and WILL NOT give you pills!
As time goes on you will learn just who your true friends are!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Western NY
Posts: 1,209
Avery - I wouldn't strongly suggest skipping that lunch. If she is your ex-dealer you have no reason to have lunch with her in the first place. Even if she was in a dealer under the guise of a friend. It would be too easy for her to pass a couple pills across the table. There is no reason to take that risk.
Think back to all the times your ex-dealer was dragging a$$ when you were sick. I haven't met a dealer yet that didn't operate on "dealer time". 5 minutes is an hour. 20 mins can be a whole day. Now you have the power over her. The slave became the master. Let her squirm now the same way you squirmed when she had power over you.
Think back to all the times your ex-dealer was dragging a$$ when you were sick. I haven't met a dealer yet that didn't operate on "dealer time". 5 minutes is an hour. 20 mins can be a whole day. Now you have the power over her. The slave became the master. Let her squirm now the same way you squirmed when she had power over you.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
