Trying to quit pot again
hopping for freedom
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 847
Trying to quit pot again
It's already a bit easier this time. Only spent about a week dusting out grinders, scraping pipes out and searching the house for forgotten stashes - several times a day. Have exhausted those options and now know there is nothing to be found anywhere. My bf and I are on the same page, we're not going to buy any more. Usually we only last a few days but we've almost made it two weeks. We still have friends who always have it so that's difficult. I guess it's only a true day 3 without a hint of thc.
The last thing I want to hear is that weed is ok, not a real drug and I shouldn't worry about it. That is my usual justification. And it couldn't be further from the truth for me. For some, it's great, for me, it's been 22 years of daily smoking. And if I didn't have it, missing it almost every minute of the day. It's been my entire experience as an adult. It hasn't destroyed my life, I have a business, a partner, friends, I'm active. So in that way I can see it's not as bad as some drugs. But I'm lazy as depressed behind closed doors, wasting my brain and my life in a state of semi-coma.
The last thing I want to hear is that weed is ok, not a real drug and I shouldn't worry about it. That is my usual justification. And it couldn't be further from the truth for me. For some, it's great, for me, it's been 22 years of daily smoking. And if I didn't have it, missing it almost every minute of the day. It's been my entire experience as an adult. It hasn't destroyed my life, I have a business, a partner, friends, I'm active. So in that way I can see it's not as bad as some drugs. But I'm lazy as depressed behind closed doors, wasting my brain and my life in a state of semi-coma.
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
You are on your way! Once you get to a week any cravings will start to ease and the anxiety you are feeling will start to wane.
Believe me, I know what you are going through. I smoked daily for 38 years and the last 6 or 7, I would go through an ounce about every 18-21 days. I didn't use that much because it was low quality either! I know several very talented growers.... so all I got was the very best.
I now have 13 months free of smoking pot and my cravings are gone.
If I can do it, so can you! Feel free to PM me if you need some support.
Good Luck!
Believe me, I know what you are going through. I smoked daily for 38 years and the last 6 or 7, I would go through an ounce about every 18-21 days. I didn't use that much because it was low quality either! I know several very talented growers.... so all I got was the very best.
I now have 13 months free of smoking pot and my cravings are gone.
If I can do it, so can you! Feel free to PM me if you need some support.
Good Luck!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
Welcome back Bunny 
Like Hope I smoked a lot and for a long time...quitting had it's challenges but it wasn;t impossible...the really hard part was staying quit.
You might want to give some thought to what you do socially and who you do it with for a while?
D
Like Hope I smoked a lot and for a long time...quitting had it's challenges but it wasn;t impossible...the really hard part was staying quit.
You might want to give some thought to what you do socially and who you do it with for a while?
D
hopping for freedom
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 847
I did notice something rare this time, I didn't miss it last night or this morning. I missed it tonight but to have almost 24 hours when I didn't crave it was a first. I do have the blahs though. I think that maybe people are right when they say just keep trying, maybe it does actually get easier, like practicing. I think I learn something each time. Plus, being here reading and posting fills the time I would have spent craving it and searching the house for one more hidden roach.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by wackybunny 
I'm lazy as depressed behind closed doors, wasting my brain and my life in a state of semi-coma.
but
later on in life I wanted a clear mind (hadn't had that in a long time)
I had to stop smoking pot so as to find my way there
Mountainman
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nashville, tn
Posts: 35
Good luck man. I agree with you, pot can be a real problem for some of us. I was like you for years. I went to some na meetings when i tried to quit, but then felt like i was being silly and didnt belong since i didnt do "hard drugs". Slowly i just quit living life at all. I used to live and lived to use.
It took finally moving on to other substances before i was convinced i was an addict. Now i am battling a heroin/opiate addiction. My ex, who was also a stoner, switched to alcohol and is just as bad off if not even worse than me.
I wish i had stuck with sobriety when my worst problem was weed. The mental addiction is the worst part, and it is very real. You do not have to hit rock bottom to recognize and treat your addiction. That would be like ignoring your diabetes until you have your leg amputated from neuropathy before you felt you were sick enough for insulin. You do not have to become a hardcore needle junkie before you will be accepted in na meetings. In fact, you will get MUCH respect for havng the insight, wisdom, and courage to nip it in the bud at pot addiction (pun intended)
I highly suggest going to na meetings. Addiction usually involves depression and or social isolation and general lack of motivation to do anything including responsibilities and hobbies. 12 step meetings help so much. You can learn a whole new way of life and happiness on top of quitting drugs, so you wont waste all your free time searching for that lost roach or obsessing about drugs, relationships, money, or whatever.
It took finally moving on to other substances before i was convinced i was an addict. Now i am battling a heroin/opiate addiction. My ex, who was also a stoner, switched to alcohol and is just as bad off if not even worse than me.
I wish i had stuck with sobriety when my worst problem was weed. The mental addiction is the worst part, and it is very real. You do not have to hit rock bottom to recognize and treat your addiction. That would be like ignoring your diabetes until you have your leg amputated from neuropathy before you felt you were sick enough for insulin. You do not have to become a hardcore needle junkie before you will be accepted in na meetings. In fact, you will get MUCH respect for havng the insight, wisdom, and courage to nip it in the bud at pot addiction (pun intended)
I highly suggest going to na meetings. Addiction usually involves depression and or social isolation and general lack of motivation to do anything including responsibilities and hobbies. 12 step meetings help so much. You can learn a whole new way of life and happiness on top of quitting drugs, so you wont waste all your free time searching for that lost roach or obsessing about drugs, relationships, money, or whatever.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Missouri
Posts: 133
Hey Bunny! I quit smoking cannabis about six weeks ago. I've been partaking for many years but had been a daily smoker for about two years. For me, withdrawal was a fairly intense experience. I had insomnia (of course), night sweats, big time mood swings (cried a ton), and headaches. It took me about three weeks to get through it but now I feel really good. My head is clear and I feel so much more connected to my life and the people I love. I'm SO glad I decided to quit. Going through the pain and annoyance of withdrawal was totally worth this freedom. Wishing you so much love on your journey! You're making a great decision!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Hey WB
You can do this. It gets so much better. I know you've already checked out my main thread on quitting.
Another thing that helped me was to list the things I didn't like about smoking so I made a thread about that too and other people added on some really good stuff as well. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...marijuana.html Maybe make your own list and add it on?
You can do this. It gets so much better. I know you've already checked out my main thread on quitting.
Another thing that helped me was to list the things I didn't like about smoking so I made a thread about that too and other people added on some really good stuff as well. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...marijuana.html Maybe make your own list and add it on?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Oh, and I guess a few more things:
My bf still smokes. So just know that it IS possible for YOU to quit if you want to no matter who is smoking. I have 200 days weed-free despite living with somebody that smokes and knowing that there is always some in my house. As to friends, I would do some deep looking as to what these friendships are based on. If it's nothing more than getting together and getting high together, I would recommend letting those friendships go. There were some people I had to eliminate from my life when I quit. My sobriety had to be #1. If they are people that you REALLY like and want to continue being friends with, explain to them that you've quit and don't want them doing it in front of you as it's hard to resist. True friends will understand and support your sobriety. I still associate with some people who smoke (i.e. bf) but they all know that I've quit and don't want to be around it. It's got to be in another room with the door closed and the window open.
I think in some ways weed is WORSE than the other drugs. Not necessarily the effects, but it's sneaky. It makes us think that it's OK and that we're not as bad as say a cocaine addict which lets us justify our use. Weed never sent me to the ER like alcohol did. But it robbed me of having a rich, full life and being the person that I wanted to be. As you said, I still had a job, a bf (who smoked weed), friends (who all smoked weed), a house, a car, some hobbies (that I could do while smoking weed). But I was obsessed. I HAD to have my weed. I could not function without it. And it let me sit around doing nothing (or watching TV or something) and think that I was having the best time of my life when in fact I was wasting it sucking on the end of a pipe.
The thing to keep in mind is that it's a problem for you and you know it. Kind of like how for me, gambling isn't a problem: I'm a math person. I know the casino wins. I'm a computer person: I imagine the code behind the slot machine and know it's programmed so the casino wins. But for a compulsive gambler, it's a problem. Even if everybody else in the world was just fine smoking weed, if it causes you problems, it causes you problems.
To be honest, when I quit smoking weed, I wasn't really sure if it was a problem or not. But I knew that I'd spent all of my teenage and adult years doing it and I wanted to know what life was like without it. I figured the only way to know how it was without it was to try it. I could always go back if I didn't like life better without it. The longer I've been quit for, the more I am now able to see how much of a problem it was. So, just give life a shot without it. Give it six months. (The first few months don't really count as that is what life is like adapting from smoking weed, not what it's like to live truly clean and sober.)
As others have mentioned, I too was super emotional for the first couple of weeks. I had the bad sweats, I felt nauseous and sick and super cold. Things that helped were hot showers, going for walks, trying to eat a little even if I didn't feel like it and lots of time here on SR. And if you want more details about how it was, you can go look back in my other thread and find the time from when I first quit entirely.
Wow!! I didn't mean for this to get so long.
My bf still smokes. So just know that it IS possible for YOU to quit if you want to no matter who is smoking. I have 200 days weed-free despite living with somebody that smokes and knowing that there is always some in my house. As to friends, I would do some deep looking as to what these friendships are based on. If it's nothing more than getting together and getting high together, I would recommend letting those friendships go. There were some people I had to eliminate from my life when I quit. My sobriety had to be #1. If they are people that you REALLY like and want to continue being friends with, explain to them that you've quit and don't want them doing it in front of you as it's hard to resist. True friends will understand and support your sobriety. I still associate with some people who smoke (i.e. bf) but they all know that I've quit and don't want to be around it. It's got to be in another room with the door closed and the window open.
I think in some ways weed is WORSE than the other drugs. Not necessarily the effects, but it's sneaky. It makes us think that it's OK and that we're not as bad as say a cocaine addict which lets us justify our use. Weed never sent me to the ER like alcohol did. But it robbed me of having a rich, full life and being the person that I wanted to be. As you said, I still had a job, a bf (who smoked weed), friends (who all smoked weed), a house, a car, some hobbies (that I could do while smoking weed). But I was obsessed. I HAD to have my weed. I could not function without it. And it let me sit around doing nothing (or watching TV or something) and think that I was having the best time of my life when in fact I was wasting it sucking on the end of a pipe.
The thing to keep in mind is that it's a problem for you and you know it. Kind of like how for me, gambling isn't a problem: I'm a math person. I know the casino wins. I'm a computer person: I imagine the code behind the slot machine and know it's programmed so the casino wins. But for a compulsive gambler, it's a problem. Even if everybody else in the world was just fine smoking weed, if it causes you problems, it causes you problems.
To be honest, when I quit smoking weed, I wasn't really sure if it was a problem or not. But I knew that I'd spent all of my teenage and adult years doing it and I wanted to know what life was like without it. I figured the only way to know how it was without it was to try it. I could always go back if I didn't like life better without it. The longer I've been quit for, the more I am now able to see how much of a problem it was. So, just give life a shot without it. Give it six months. (The first few months don't really count as that is what life is like adapting from smoking weed, not what it's like to live truly clean and sober.)
As others have mentioned, I too was super emotional for the first couple of weeks. I had the bad sweats, I felt nauseous and sick and super cold. Things that helped were hot showers, going for walks, trying to eat a little even if I didn't feel like it and lots of time here on SR. And if you want more details about how it was, you can go look back in my other thread and find the time from when I first quit entirely.
Wow!! I didn't mean for this to get so long.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
Welcome to SR, Whacky. Yeah, marijuana was my first demon, introduced when I Was 14, and I wasn't bale to kick it until I was 54.
It was never a benign drug for me. It ruled my life, and I did insane things to get it, things that endangered me, my loved ones, and cost me an untold number of relationships.
I've been sober for nearly 3.5 years now, and recently moved to a medical marijuana state. Tempting, especially since I have three disorders that would qualify me for medical marijuana card status.
But beer is legal too, and I know what path a six pack of Abita Turbo Dog would lead to, and it's not a pretty tale.
Those first few days and weeks and even months can be tough. Those who don't think there is a legitimate withdrawal syndrome from pot are misinformed, or maybe just weren't addicted in the first place.
I can't be around it. I have friends who handle pot well, maintain their professional careers, and see it as a risk-free drug. I just can't hang with them. At all.
It was never a benign drug for me. It ruled my life, and I did insane things to get it, things that endangered me, my loved ones, and cost me an untold number of relationships.
I've been sober for nearly 3.5 years now, and recently moved to a medical marijuana state. Tempting, especially since I have three disorders that would qualify me for medical marijuana card status.
But beer is legal too, and I know what path a six pack of Abita Turbo Dog would lead to, and it's not a pretty tale.
Those first few days and weeks and even months can be tough. Those who don't think there is a legitimate withdrawal syndrome from pot are misinformed, or maybe just weren't addicted in the first place.
I can't be around it. I have friends who handle pot well, maintain their professional careers, and see it as a risk-free drug. I just can't hang with them. At all.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Denver
Posts: 235
of course weed can be habit forming and cause be loads of problems. I hate when people try and defend it like its purely this benign medicinal god send. I believe it has many beneficial effects (don't get me wrong), but hell so does morphine, that doesn't make it any less of a mind altering substance. I used opiates in low doses and never had my life ruined either. I would take maybe 30 mg a night of oxycodone, go to work the next day, and be a great son and friend. The thing I realized is that the other 22 hours that I wasn't being effected by the oxycodone I really was lethargic and not engaged in my life at all. I didn't have to start shooting stuff to realize the drug was causing me problems and neither do you. I am so happy you realized this. You don't need a criminal record to see that pot just like oxycodone can make you a slave. I noticed when you start doing math with your DOC that's when your really addicted. Well lets see I have 2 oxycodone pills for this three day road trip, 60mg/3 means 3 20mg doses blah blah blah (insert weed measurements for you). Stick with it and definitely be happy you didn't get hooked on stronger stuff.
hopping for freedom
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 847
Still off it! I haven't figured out which day was the quit date. I guess it should be the absolute last toke which was 5 days ago. The time we ran out and stopped smoking most of the day was probably two weeks ago. It's a good thing that my pride is also discouraging me from visiting my pot friends because I don't want them to notice I turn up whenever I don't have any and take theirs like a mooch. Luckily I have some friends who don't smoke and who don't know how much I did. It seems like a lot of the women in my peer group never had such a problem and if they did, they grew out of it. Has been a secret shame of mine and made me avoid intimate friendships with straight people. Is sad to have a secret shame.
hopping for freedom
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 847
It is hard to quit because the justification is easy. The damage is so slow and not immediately noticeable. Plus, I was always glad I ended up with just a weed problem. I escaped much worse. When I was a teenager, we were all downing pills etc like no tomorrow. I was also anorexic and in an abusive relationship. I had a scary childhood surrounded by alcoholism and violence. I left home young and found "refuge" in the drug scene. Being unemployed and taking drugs was a way of life for a couple years. Then everyone started switching to H. I went along for a while but I liked it too much and I knew what it could do to a person. Some sense of self preservation kicked in and I saved myself. I left the country never to return. I started from scratch, all alone at 19.
hopping for freedom
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 847
Most of my friends from back then were not so lucky and have battled all their life. Some are not still with us. Having seen the devastation and how close I had come to it, I don't think I shall ever be tempted to take another hard drug again. I haven't for 15 years. I did become dependent on dilaudid for medical reasons and had one heck of a shock when I tried to come off. I felt like I was going to die. Thankfully I managed it over time and I haven't touched that for 7 years.
Compared to all this, friendly, acceptable pot has seemed like a cozy best friend. But it's a best friend who stabbed me in the back. I thought it was helping my anxiety, helping stop the racing thoughts, helping my creativity, helping me make friends. But all along it was sucking life force from me. I've known for years that it is the primary source of my anxiety. When I'm stoned, I'm paranoid and my inner thoughts are fearful and tormenting. I project confidence and happiness but inside I doubt everything I do and am. I smoke more and more so that I can't think at all. It's like crawling under the covers and hiding. Sometimes it's nice and my best friend again, as if really was making me happy after all. Like when it's sunny and I'm lost in gardening.
But surely by now I have seen enough evidence to know. I truly thought I had dealt with my "stuff" but as soon as I stopped weed, all this childhood stuff came flooding back. I guess I never dealt with it sober so I probably filed all the information in some muddled way, being too stoned to do the job properly. It scares me to think I've never really had a sober adult thought. If sober means months free of weed.
Compared to all this, friendly, acceptable pot has seemed like a cozy best friend. But it's a best friend who stabbed me in the back. I thought it was helping my anxiety, helping stop the racing thoughts, helping my creativity, helping me make friends. But all along it was sucking life force from me. I've known for years that it is the primary source of my anxiety. When I'm stoned, I'm paranoid and my inner thoughts are fearful and tormenting. I project confidence and happiness but inside I doubt everything I do and am. I smoke more and more so that I can't think at all. It's like crawling under the covers and hiding. Sometimes it's nice and my best friend again, as if really was making me happy after all. Like when it's sunny and I'm lost in gardening.
But surely by now I have seen enough evidence to know. I truly thought I had dealt with my "stuff" but as soon as I stopped weed, all this childhood stuff came flooding back. I guess I never dealt with it sober so I probably filed all the information in some muddled way, being too stoned to do the job properly. It scares me to think I've never really had a sober adult thought. If sober means months free of weed.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Hey wacky,
Good to hear you're still at it. There was a lot of 'stuff' that I found coming back when I stopped smoking and drinking too. I think in part I started smoking weed and drinking to run from feelings and things that happened when I was younger. I'd do anything to keep from having to turn and face it. In the end, all that I did to not have to face it I think caused more pain and problems in my life than what I was originally running from.
Facing it all sober has allowed me to heal and move forward. There were a lot of things that when I thought of them again once clean and sober, I had to reprocess them as I was never able to really do so when using.
The cool thing about processing it now is that I am at a place in my life where I am relatively stable and can take care of myself. So those things that happened don't have as much power in them anymore. They can't really hurt me anymore unless I let them.
I think you'll find that without the weed you're able to process that stuff and take care of it once and for all. I also think that like me you're in a position where you can take care of yourself and that will make it much easier to deal with it than when it happened and you were a kid/teenager and really needed someone to take care of you.
One thing, if you can manage, try not to dwell on it over-much during the early days. Emotions can be at an all time high when you first get clean and thinking about old stuff can add stress. Focus on taking good care of yourself.
Feel free to PM me if you need to get anything out.
hugs,
DG
Good to hear you're still at it. There was a lot of 'stuff' that I found coming back when I stopped smoking and drinking too. I think in part I started smoking weed and drinking to run from feelings and things that happened when I was younger. I'd do anything to keep from having to turn and face it. In the end, all that I did to not have to face it I think caused more pain and problems in my life than what I was originally running from.
Facing it all sober has allowed me to heal and move forward. There were a lot of things that when I thought of them again once clean and sober, I had to reprocess them as I was never able to really do so when using.
The cool thing about processing it now is that I am at a place in my life where I am relatively stable and can take care of myself. So those things that happened don't have as much power in them anymore. They can't really hurt me anymore unless I let them.
I think you'll find that without the weed you're able to process that stuff and take care of it once and for all. I also think that like me you're in a position where you can take care of yourself and that will make it much easier to deal with it than when it happened and you were a kid/teenager and really needed someone to take care of you.
One thing, if you can manage, try not to dwell on it over-much during the early days. Emotions can be at an all time high when you first get clean and thinking about old stuff can add stress. Focus on taking good care of yourself.
Feel free to PM me if you need to get anything out.
hugs,
DG
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
Excellent!
Good Job your Wackiness!! (sorry... just had to say it!) Keep Hopping along and soon you'll have a week away from weed.
Like DG said, try to let the stuff from your youth wait a bit till you try to process it. After some more time, you will be able to think about it more logically and work it out without the stress and anxiety of giving up pot.
Congratulations!
Like DG said, try to let the stuff from your youth wait a bit till you try to process it. After some more time, you will be able to think about it more logically and work it out without the stress and anxiety of giving up pot.
Congratulations!
hopping for freedom
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 847
Thank you guys for suggesting I wait to deal with things. It seems like a good idea. After all, I've been avoiding for this long so waiting until I'm better equipped is sensible, not unhealthy avoidance. Yesterday I was consumed for hours thinking of all the things that lead me to where I am. Remembering feeling of injustice and simmering rage, remembering feeling stuck and futile and hopeless.
But when I had to get out of my head and back into the real world, I brought some of it with me. I got all grumpy with my boyfriend because he doesn't want to spend money going away for the weekend. There I was, simmering with the injustice of it all. It didn't take long to see that I was using a current situation as an outlet for old bottled up feelings and emotional patterns. Probably if I indulge myself by telling my sad story over and over in my head, I will drive myself back to pot. Perhaps it's the addiction kicking back and trying to set me up for failure.
Best realize it's early days and be kind to myself. I'm already beating myself up for following the same patterns as when I smoked all day. I thought I'd have all this energy yet I'm just as lethargic as before and I'm still not getting anything done. It's just dawning on me that it will be a learning experience to figure out how to live not stoned. I thought it would come naturally but I feel lost.
Thank god the terrifying nightmares seem to have gone. And I'm not waking up in the night all cold and dripping with sweat any more.
But when I had to get out of my head and back into the real world, I brought some of it with me. I got all grumpy with my boyfriend because he doesn't want to spend money going away for the weekend. There I was, simmering with the injustice of it all. It didn't take long to see that I was using a current situation as an outlet for old bottled up feelings and emotional patterns. Probably if I indulge myself by telling my sad story over and over in my head, I will drive myself back to pot. Perhaps it's the addiction kicking back and trying to set me up for failure.
Best realize it's early days and be kind to myself. I'm already beating myself up for following the same patterns as when I smoked all day. I thought I'd have all this energy yet I'm just as lethargic as before and I'm still not getting anything done. It's just dawning on me that it will be a learning experience to figure out how to live not stoned. I thought it would come naturally but I feel lost.
Thank god the terrifying nightmares seem to have gone. And I'm not waking up in the night all cold and dripping with sweat any more.
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