pinktee18

I have no access to my sleep medication ambien that I was hooked on but part of me wants to go find a way to get some. Part of me says I have it under control and I can take them just for sleep. It's like reality is hitting and I wan't it back as much as its not worth it and i have no access to it. None of my friends take it and my psychiatrist won't give it to me so it's like being a child and being told no and having to deal with it.

Steven120

I know what you mean, pinktee18. I left my doctor's office with RX's before with fake pains and felt so humiliated that I resorted to lying to my doctor just to get a fix. I filled them anyway. Eventually I think he caught on and cut me off in a way that kind of felt like I was being berated by my father and I was 10 years old. I guess that doesn't help, but my point is you are not alone. Keep the faith.

DecBaby

It's for the best. It doesn't seem that way now but I sometimes think maybe if Drs were more strict I would not have gotten as addicted to many pills that I was. As a society in general I don't think we'd be suffering from this painkiller addiction epidemic.

Steven120

I agree DecBaby. I know if my doctor was a little stricter I would not have had access to pills...that is until I found a dealer but that was after I had become addicted. It is 100% my fault that I allowed it to get that far.

TiredEnough

I would never have said this before but I think most docs are too lenient. We cant stand one that does pill counts and makes you come in when we are using but those are the ones that are taking it seriously and doing the right thing.

I dont look suspicious so I went years with never a pill count and only one drug test from a specialist (I passed). Long ago I was rocking a perc rx from one doc and norco from the other. Neither one cared but I checked with the pharmacy. They told me I didnt fit the profile so no problem! I stopped it anyway out of fear.

DecBaby

And those dealers got scripts from docs. Not too mention shady pharmacists. It's an awful world driven by greed and money.


Pink how are you feeling today?

fancyfee

I don't know... I was pretty deceptive and had actual pain for awhile. I hate to put the full blame on my doctor, I'm the one that overused and kept going back for more. Of course we all know that tolerance builds and builds.

I don't understand Ambien addiction or why it would be held back. Unless you were using it with alcohol or it was causing negative consequences in your life.

Ambien always freaked me out (weird, right?). I was afraid I would sleep drive myself to the bar or something, lol. Or catch the house on fire trying to cook.

DecBaby

I was definitely deceptive and I take full responsibility for what I did but there were some docs I didn't have to be deceptive with if you know what I mean. It was like I need this... In this many mgs.

I had moments when I abused ambien. Not my doc but if it was all that was around then hey I abused it. There's lots of people who have ambien as there drug of choice.

TiredEnough

I had one like that, Decbaby. He was such a nice guy and I had real back pain. He would say, "what do you need and how much?"

I felt awful later on abusing that niceness. I still regret it today.

fancyfee

Very true DecBaby. I guess it did get to that point with me also. I had surgery and my surgeon refused to fill an opiate script past my hospital stay. So I just went to another doctor and he filled it for me. The hospital script wasn't enough because I was already on such a high dose that it was like taking a tylenol.

I had no idea about Ambien. I guess it's good I've never tried it!

Pink hope you're doing okay!