trappeshot

Okay. I will have a year clean here a week from tomorrow.

Here is my problem. I 'can't sleep. This is my3rd time getting off drugs, the longest i've ever been clean, never had this problem.


The day i got out of rehab my first time i was good to go.

PRetty much the same deal the 2nd time.

But this last go round i used for almost 3 years, i used a lot of drugs and about.. 6 months before i gave it up i noticed that i had to use sleep aids to get to bed. For a while when i got off the dope (Crack cocaine) that's the only way i could sleep.

here is the real problem. I"m in drug court. I"m kicking ass in drug court, more than half way done with it, i will be done with all the classes in the first week of January. No failed tests, nothing. straight arrow. BUT, my PO doesn't want me taking over the counter meds, beucase she fears i might abuse them.
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and up until now i've complied with that. i do what i'm told to do for the most part. But this is affecting every area of my life now. i can't make the money i am used to making beucase i can't ever work a full work week because i'm tired. i build websites for a living and i don't have the type of job that i can go to work with groggy. if i can't think i can't work.

and truth be told i don't want to use over the counter aids for a perminiume slution, when i first got in drug court i was taking 5-6 equate sleep pills at a time and i was useless the next day.

ZZquill works perfectly but i can't take it because it has alcohol n it.

I don't know what to do. last week, i HAD to have a good day wedneady so I broke down and took 1 equte sleep pill, was out like a light, kicked ass on wedneday. i tried to go to bed normal on thursday and i might have gotten 3 hours of sleep. so i didnt' work thursday. i took 2 pills, not beucase of tolerance but beucase i needed to be in bed faster, thursday night, woke up, kicked ass on friday.

friday i talked ot my massause and she recommended some herbal stuff from the health market, i spent 20 bucks on it, might as well be drinking water didn't work, so yesterday i was useless. last night i tried to take a bath in epsom salt and take 2 melatonin pills, didn't work.

when i first got clean, i could not go to sleep at all. now i can go to sleep but i am the lightest sleeper on earth and ic an't stay sleep and every once in a while i am real aggitated like i hae bad nerves and i can't even go to sleep i'm like that righ tnow


what my plan is, i know the equate pills won't show up on a drug screen, i want to take them for 1-2 weeks.. that's enough to where i won't build up any real tolerance, then take y butt to a doctor and get some type of medication.

but i really don't want to take any pills if i have to but right now it looks like i have to. this is serious.

what's really frustrating is that when i got clean i weighted like 225 pounds. i have kicked ass in the gym and now i'm about like 185-195. i will have a good day in the gym, ike i did friday, and then on Saturday im' so groggy and lethargic i can't go to the gym and then im' like screw it i will go to mcdonalds


help me someone plese lol.

Dee74

Why not go to a Dr now trappeshot?

D

trappeshot

because that cost money and id on't have it because i am broke because i can't work because i can't sleep lol.

i just need a damn window so that i can work for a solid week or 2 and i can clear all this crap up.

i see a counselor and everyone says the ame thing just go to the doctor and i'm like with what money lol i got like 4 websites on my plate i can't finish because i'm too tired to work. if i can work i can finish them and get paid and go to the doctor.

i've listened to peole tell me that hey it's a phase you are going to grow out of it. i've listened to people telling me i need to change my slepeing habits and i'm sick and tired of people telling me that my problem will past while at the same time demanding i work lol. something has to give.

what my PO doesn't seem to grasp is that right now, me not working is a bigger threat to my soberity than the pills. i never abused the pills. **** they arne't even addictive. but me not being able to work and the stress along with that is getting to me. or being on a diet and not being able to cook because you are too tired and running to mcdonalds telling yourself this is the last time only to do the same thing 3 days later. it gets old and i've had it'''


i'm well past the point of looking for advice on should i or should i not take the pills. i took the pills my first... really 4 months of sobriety i only stopped when i got in drug court and i functioned fine they just didn't' want me to take them. what i am looking for is a practical solution to my sleeping problem to possibly avoid this potential show down.

i'm quite sure i'm not the only addict that has ever had sleep issues. what did you do

if no one can give me a practical solution that works this is what i have to do because i have to work
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that's another thing about sobriety. everyone is all "oh do what's best for you" but the real world doesn't give a damn what's best for you they want their take. my landlord wants his rent, my PO wants their fines paid on time, etc. all that takes money which i can't make beucase i'm trying to comply with their silly ass policy.

Dee74

There are a lot of free or low cost clinics around - if there's one in your local area you might get some medical advice there?

Free/Low-Cost/Sliding-Scale Clinics
2-1-1 Call Center Search

wiscsober

Congratulations...

maybe a checkup with a GNP or DR will help.

yoohoo

I dont think there is a magic answer here. You cant sleep and it affects your work. Thats about it. I think most of us are in the same boat. How many people have gone to work and performed poorly? Me for one... There are people are there perfoming very athletic or mentally exhausting jobs. Addiction has caused me to drop the ball everwhere. I have at this point resigned myself to being a virtual non sleeper who night grab a few naps through the night. The more I obsess about it the more I feel stressed. So I have surrended the idea of a restful rejuvinating sleep at the moment. Now forever mind you, just for now Its taken pressure of me and means I worry about one less thing. Do I feel like rubbish? Yes. Am I at the top of my game? No. Am I all smoke and mirrors and putting on a poker face when Im a work or in a social setting at the moment? yes. It too shall pass I do believe that. This is the price I must pay for the journey I took... I look forward to sleepingin. That seems hysterical at the moment. I hope this helps, its a comfort to know we are all in the same boat at some stage. keep strong and keep your resolve.

trappeshot

i mean i could 10000% understand if the issue was me abusing the drugs. the drugs are no n habit forming. even when i used them when i was using i never abused them. my tolerance built up but i never abused thema nd as soon as i could go to sleep at all without the m i stopped taking them

the issue here is that the PO doesn't want a flase positive on a drug test. that is literally the only real issue here. ti has nothing to do with my sobriety. she doesn't want an event where i can say "oh well i took this" to be an issue in the case i ever fail a drug test.


there ar ea lot of sacrifices i have made because of y addiction but i don't make unnecessary ones and this one isn't necessary. there is no reason to fall on a sword when you can get out the way

cleaninLI

The problem trapp is that we are addicts. That means that we are prone to addiction. It is very common for us to trade one addiction for another. When I didn't have my doc which were painkillers I used and abused benzos or alchohol. Unless you want to come up with a dirty urine and spend more time with your po officer, stay FAR AWAY from those pills. I am in a program also, rules state no mind altering substances allowed. I am lucky to get 4 or 5 hours of sleep per night. If I obsess over sleep, I will get only 2. Anyway, sorry this isn't very helpful, but I thought I should at least respond and let you know I understand how you feel.

dpg109

when i used to wake up in the middle of the night three natural remedies that helped were:

hot bath
hot tea
sublingual melatonin

trappeshot

hot baths do relax me. the problem is where i live the water doesn't get hot enough to just knock me out. it's more really really warm lol.

anyway i'm going to tought this out as bad as i hate it. it's costing me a lot of money and stress but it's some type of problem with how i am eating or living or working or something. pills aren't the answer and i don't want them to be, i just am getting really stressed about this.

it stresses me out that no one else i now has this issue this deep into recovery. everyone is fine. i am in drug court with people you have to pry out of bed to get to go to work and i am begging my higher power for the biltiy to work and i can't. today i am just stuck in bed lol a female friend i saw today and she asked me was i okay i look and feel like a zombie. i'm just going to rest today and try again tomorrow

when i don't work and i go to sleep natural i am always okay the next day but i should not be able to only work every other day that's not fair

lagataloca

Trappeshot, how much natural sunlight do you get a day? Seriously, the ONLY thing that helped me was to sit outside in the direct sun for an hour a day, and let myself get REALLY sweaty.