RodCowart

Hello everyone, I am just stumbled on this forum and decided i would try to find helpful Information to quit.

I am 23 years old and have been using opiates for almost 4 years. The only the that keeps me doing it is that it feels like it is what makes me normal. I do not feel like myself when I am not using. I have been eating a minimum of 90mg of Oxycodone daily. This may not be bad to some people but being a person that weighs a mere 120lbs it feels like so much more. I have not used in 2 weeks except I slipped on Friday night and used a small amount which I wish I wouldnt have...

My only problem is the mental part. Nothing seems fun no matter how hard I try. All I want to do is lay around and stare at the wall.

I am choosing to quit because it is something I have hid from people including my girlfriend of 3 years and can't anymore. I don't want to lose anymore people in my life just for a expensive pill that only helps momentarily. But at the same time it is hard to keep from trying to get some when that is all that seems will get me through a 10 hour work shift bartending

Angel78

I understand what your going through. I have been an opiate addict for 15 years. I have almost 2 weeks clean. I just want to feel happy and calm again! I hope you stick with it and feel better!!

RodCowart

I hope that I do also. I always told myself I wasn't addicted and that I could quit anytime I wanted to. I am lucky to not have withdrawal symptoms except the mental part. But to me the mental part is HELL

Stilltrecking

Rod, i am glad i get to give you this information. That depression/ laying around feeling is classic PAWS which is a symptom of your natural endorphins being depleted and in down regulation from constant exogenous opiates. I am day 22 and the depression and lethargy are lifting rapidly. The first two weeks i felt literally like an extra from the walking dead. The mental symptoms generally linger for about a month or two. Let me guess, you suffer from bouts of extreme fatigue, anhidonia, craving, trouble sleeping, and anxiety? Yup i have been were you were and the only thing i can preach to you is that it does get better. I suggest exercising literally as much as you can. It jump starts the endorphins so your brain can reach equilibrium faster. The other thing i must preach is total abstinence and time. Trust me it will be at least a month before you feel like your self again (none of that 3-7 days bs). ITS NOT PERMINANT.

pugsNkisses

RodCowart, first things first...CONGRATULATIONS for staying two weeks sober (other than Friday night) but still, 13 days...good job! I want to tell you that I used for 2 years (I am proud to say that I am 3 years sober this month)...i took 30mg of oxycodone and 80mg of OxyContin...i started of with Percocet and Vicodin...etc...but then all that worked was the 30's and 80's....I also want to tell you that I hid it from my family for so long...not that I took the pills but that I was addicted to them. I was prescribed these pills for chronic kidney stones...therefore I didn't ask for any of this, but I gotta tell you at the end I was the one begging for more pills until I gave up and said that I CANNOT DO IT ANYMORE. I tried to quit once myself, I did for 3 weeks, then one slip up and I was back to the 30's.

I remember not wanting to leave my apartment, ever! Not even from the withdrawals which I had, but this was after that, I felt fine physically eventually, but mentally you couldn't get me to go anywhere....movies, dinner, a walk, anywhere, nothing seemed fun...everything was just blahh...all I could do was sit on my couch and watch tv, I even ordered food daily because I didn't want to go shopping for food. Working was just terrible....I had no personality anymore and I am the bubbliest person you can meet...I felt like I was lifeless, barely laughed or had an interest in anything. I'm not going to lie to you, I only started feeling happy again about two years into my sobriety...I became depressed, that is why it took me so long. I didn't want to go to doctors for happy pills because I honestly couldn't trust them anymore...I had it set in my mind that I need to be med free and I will e myself again. Took forever but as the days, weeks, months went on I started to feel happy again. I will be 25 years old in May, so I understand how you feel...I really want to tell you that it does get better....it does! For me it took a long time because I stayed med free....that's not for everyone with depression...but I strongly felt that I wanted to be med free because I never felt like i wanted to commit suicide or hurt anyone...I was just emotionless. I pushed myself to find new friends, go out on my own terms, work and kept myself as busy as I could....also my dogs helped my point is that it does get better. You will be happy again, I have no idea if anything I said made sense, but I hope it did if you just need someone to talk to, I'm here....message me if you want
I know that when I was going through this, I always wished there was someone to tell me it gets better. My name is Anna by the way

RodCowart

Thank you for letting me know that I know exactly what you mean. I am a server and while on pills I make sooo much more money because I have a good personality but without them I feel boring. I just don't feel like myself when I not using. I just have to remember it takes time
And I will make it

lostnconfused2

You can do it Rod! I'm there with you on not having any severe physical withdrawals, except for fatigue and yawning, which I blame partly on quitting adderall as well. Achy as well but nothing Tylenol/Aleve didn't take away.

I found this site over weekend. I was bawling my eyes out as I wrote my first post, and still have been crying/feeling like it since quitting. Actually, I have been super emotional for past 3 weeks when I started tapering down a bit.

Anyways, I want to let you know you ARE NOT alone with those feelings. I know my husband is ready for his loud and opinionated wife to come back, but I feel like I have no personality now. All I want to do is eat, sleep, cry, and loath is self pity. Lets just say it ain't pretty

I'm not working bc I literally stopped showing up even though we need the money. I've been dragging my ass to the elliptical or outside 1-3x a day and started with therapy 2x a week. There is alot of assistance for free of super cheap around here bc of the large university in town. I highly recommend therapy to anyone who struggles with addiction.

You can do it. Force yourself to exercise a bit and then come bitch on here! I'm on this site constantly bc my urges are still here, so instead of texting a dealer I come to this site.

All the best
J

1Dayatatyme

Hi,
I just posted my own experience with PAWS as a new thread, once again, it is my own personal experience, but hope it helps!!