Just a note about my feelings

[dotcom]

I've been thinking. Some of you probably think I'm young and dumb for not attending NA. Well, like I have said before, NA is not for everyone. And before you judge me for not being in NA, I suggest you ask yourself if I was in my 40's would you still feel the same way considering i have 15 plus months clean time.

I'm not going anywhere and I don't see relapse in my future so if ya get your panties in a bunch about MY recovery I suggest you just steer the heck clear of me. Is that fair? I think it is fair. I could care less about how much clean time you all have. Not that I dont care, but im not here for you. I'm here for me. And if you are going to shoot me down, do it in public.

And if you have got a problem with my age and your panties get in an extra bunch, I suggest you steer clear of me again! Does that sound fair? I think so! I dont hear me running around commenting on how dumb a 40 plus year old is for being 60 days clean and unemployed. Do you?

So, if you don't like what i have to share and feel a need to assert your authority over me because of my age or my feelings on 12 step programs, then take 5 steps back and go look in a mirror. OK? its very humbling IMHO.

Truly yours,

dotcom

[Chy]

Whoa Dot! I'm not sure what has been said, but your a great inspiration to all those "your age". Do you realize how much you do have to offer? We love ya!

[best]

I hate when my panties get in a bunch *LOL*

Meetings, no meetings... For me I didn't do formal meetings. Mine were one on one. I didn't do the steps either...till much later.
Meetings can give a support to those who are looking for support.
What the steps did for me... helped me better understand who I am and once I started to figure that out, I started to see a new growth in my life and a better understanding of life itself.
The steps helped me like myself and accept who I am.

But as you say... It is your choice to do as you see fit. All any of us should do as far as telling you anything.... just share what worked for us. It is still your choice to try what you are ready to try. You will find what works I am sure of it.

Rock on dot

[dotcom]

thanks chy and best. what works for me is living life, coming on here, and not going to meetings or doing 12 step. once in a blue moon ill go to a meeting. and i use steps 1-3. ive got a bunch of books and have ordered more. my family is very supportive of my clean time as well as my employers and professors. that is what works for me. i do not believe that someday a light will flash and i will find (someone else's answer) the 12 steps. there is no one single path to recovery, and there is not a standard of recovery. the light has already flashed for me and im doing what works for me. im not fixed, but im rocking on. that is for sure. all 20 years of me. LOL. ive tried the steps and meetings and its not for me.

rock on chy and best,

dot

[MeggieStar]

Dot,

I never post on this board but I had to say it....you rock girl!!! LOL! I bet that felt good huh? I loved it...god, I think you are SO COOL!


Love,
Meg

[mnj1024]

do what you need to do for you. It seems to have been working pretty good so far. I luv ya ((dot))

[dotcom]

thanks meg (queen of everything) and mike (gotta love your avatar). you guys rock!

[mackat]

heh dot
mackat here. echoing the above posts. and always a tinge jealous that so many of my recovering frens ARE YOUNG!! anyway, i hope that i have never given you a hint of the BS you referred to...what works for each of us works for each of us. Your ESH is vital- i have seen posts where the newcomer is told to hang on 'til Dot gets there-
TY
mackat

[dotcom]

thank you for your reply mack. this post was not meant for you, no worries there! those who its for will know when/if they read it. rock on mack!

[True Blue]

:ilu

[dotcom]

True. WOW i found this smiley! too cool!

[True Blue]

:wizard:

dotcom, look how cool these look. You know me I love to play. LOL Take care .com

[dotcom]

i love em true!

[Bonni]

Hey! (((Dot)))((hugs))
Your doing ok, you just do what works for you! Because your doing an AWESOME job with your recovery!
Hey! I like all of you guys and your avatars! Can I play too? :JT :slap: ha ha ha!

[Dan]

Mmmmm dot, I'd hate to be the one to tell you anything to do with your recovery!
Other than perhaps you inspire the heck out of me. You may be young of years, but your soul smacks of centuries of life lived.
Love always dot.

[splendra]

Your dotness,

:spectacle

[In memory of miracle]

((dot))) - Is it safe to come out yet?

[ted]

ROCK ON YOU LITTLE ROCKIN ROCKSTER!!!!!!
ted

[ashley80]

Hey, Dot, you know you've always been here for me when I needed you!! I don't care where your recovery comes from! You were the first to welcome me here back in January.
Ashley

[dotcom]

((bon, dd, ted, trish, ash)) ROCK ON!

[Dan]

Besides, just sweep the ones cocerned under the rug where they belong and you know !

[dotcom]

LOL rock on dan. off to get the alka seltzer guys. thanks for reading my post and for all the rockin support!

hugs and ROCK ON (what a great smiley!!!!)

dot

[Paulie]

Dot-

I just saw this thread and wanted to be sure that you know I support you in any way that keeps you clean kiddo. I KNOW my way is not the only way. If I slip and do some 12 step preaching now and then, well hey, that does not mean that anyone has to take my advice.

I will give you some advice right now Dot - keep doing what you are doing kid cause it is working for you.

You inspire me to question things and to do better myself.

[dotcom]

(((paulie)))

nothing youve said etc has offended or rubbed me the wrong way! i just had to post this for certain reasons. i appreciate all the support i get here! this site rocks! i just hope my "message" has reached the right "ears" and "hearts". i am working on my own "boundaries" and realizing that i cannot change what certain people think of me. originally, i posted this with that intent! now, i see that all i can do is worry about what i think of myself and not about what others think about me.

although, it was a good release for me to post that. im getting stronger in my opinions etc and i just want to "coincide" with others instead of being looked at as immature, a lost cause, etc because of my choice of handling MY life. i dont post like i know everything, i admit when i purposely put myself in places i shouldnt be and i associate with people i shouldnt associate with. not to tell on myself, but because ive got to be honest somewhere about my life. i cannot live lies anymore. my whole life in the past was a big lie and a pit of denial which i made comfortable for myself with drugs and excuses.

if telling the truth means im not going to be liked or put on a recovery pedastal, thats okay with me. i think i like my life just fine. i may still have contact with certain people or go to events. but, next time i will have me a backup plan and not be put in a position where i cannot leave. BUT i am struggling with the way people see me and its becoming a big problem. i was feeling not good enough or not knowlegeable enough and now it is getting much better.

i rid myself of one guy who was overstepping my boundaries. at first i liked it and then i got feeling sick inside and decided i had to do something. then i was asked out today to go out tomorrow night and i felt ugly and stupid. and then i thought... this came about so remarkably i ought to just go with it and have full confidence in myself and pretend i am comfortable so i can begin to feel that way. and if the dude thinks today im not good lookin then, oh well. he thought i was good lookin yesterday and the fact that im wearing glasses today seems to make a difference. so i must go into anti codie mode, LOL. and be thankful that at least i have clean time and am becoming more and more happy in my own skin!

OKKKKKKKKKKKK.... thanks for letting me ramble.

hugs,

dot

[Paulie]

Dot -

You make me smile. You go out on the date and you have a good time. I learn the from the confidence that you have in yourself. Set those boundaries kiddo, speak your mind, take care of you first. It is YOUR LIFE!