boneyard

Day 3 and I woke up sick, again. Stomach hurts and had the dry heaves. Super tired and restless. My muscles are sore. So I took 1.5 Ativan and it did not help - I was tired and restless. Clearly it's not the past Xanax use that was causing so much of this, it was the hydro. I got sick of that and took a Tramadol 100 mgs -- the pain stopped and I felt OK, albeit dizzy and weird feeling. Then the waves of nasuea hit me and they will not relent. What a gross drug. A pal gave me Zofran. I'll stick with that from here on out. If I wake up sick, I'll take the Zofran and some Ibuprofen. I don't want anything in my system but that right now. I want all this out. And I don't need the benzos anymore anyway.

boneyard

I'm waking up to the world again - slow and sickly but going back up. I feel carsick but that's fine, it's not the bone-hammering crap anymore. Wow, that sucked but Day 3 has shown me that it's good to be headed in this direction. Those pills suck! Life is good without the additives. I wish this had dawned on me before.

Oh, my cigs takes super bad, kind'a lost the desire to smoke. What a plus!

georgiagirl5

And if you're still that nauseous I get it. It's one of my symptoms. I'm taking promethazine which is just a really heavy anti histamine like Benadryl when all is said and done. It does need a prescription though.

GravyDave

boneyard - keep going! You'll be out of the clear physically really soon! Whatever you do, do NOT take another xanax! Relapse means repeat. Repeating your days of withdrawal and sickness. That's no fun. Keep moving forward. This is an incredibly small amount of time over the course of the rest of your life. The devil is leaving your system, but unfortunately he beats you up a bit before leaving for good. Throwing a temper tantrum because he can't come back in but then he gets over it. After you're physically better he plays mental games with you. Ignore him.

I am very proud of you for not giving in and staying strong! You're almost there!

boneyard

Oh yeah, he has been kicking my ass for days. I will have no problem ignoring him, trust me, I won't forget this experience. I had a double whammy - hydro & xanax - and it dawned on me over the summer that this was going to be a load to stop.

I woke up shakey today, nasuea, but I'm still in Day 3 for a few more hours so I understand I am just now turning the corner. I'm taking more fluids today, my vitamins, and hoping to get my stomach back (it's weak and I gag a lot on everything, even drinks).

I figure by Monday I will be in much better shape - just a few more days. My goal is to be symptom free (physical symptoms) by Wednesday. You know, as far as my drive to drop a hydro, it's not there at all, I was taking them just to be normal and not sick, I got maybe an hour rush and it was all downhill from there. So, the returns were rapidly diminishing for me anyway. The Xanax, while I did not abuse it, did wonders for my freyed nerves, and that's what I miss right now. I told myself I'd go all day without taking a benzo. I had moved to Ativan when I started to detox because I wanted to get the heavy hitter Xanax out of my system, and the Ativan is so weak by comparasion. I'd like to go today without a single thing.

boneyard

I'm an hour away from ending Day 3 and beginning Day 4. I feel weird, serious brain drain going on, shakey and strange feeling, maybe because I did not take anymore benzos, just 1.5 yesterday and I'm trying to launch myself off them completely, though I do have issues with anxiety, I am hoping I can just deal with them.

I am super tired again. I got up and cleaned the house and made everyone breakfast. Now I'm exhausted and foggy. Is foggy normal, foggy and shakey and a tad disorientated. I think my brain and body are on some weird, low hum. I get waves of nasuea. I'm weak.

I think this might be a wd wave hitting me. I'm empty this morning of all my normal assorted meds, nothing aboard this ship. I think this is the part that takes a good solid mental push. '

Oh jeez I'll be glad when I've deveoped new coping skills for this crap.

boneyard

Had to take .5 of Ativan for the shakes and anxiety. Not even on Day 4 yet, Ok, I'll count this as needed for Day 3. Not sure where this is coming from, benzos or hydro or both. What a stupid thing to get my system used to. Yikes.

Billeth

boneyard, you are prolonging your agony each time you take the ativan, ativan basically is xanax and each time you take one you are starting the detox process over again.
Ativan is not a weak benzo at all, its typically prescribed for fear of flying and also has a super short half life. it really is the same as xanax
You stretching your symptoms out by taking an ativan.
Sorry to say but its what you are doing.

likehappiness

Boneyard- I agree with Bill you need to quit the Ativan. It is not helping you at this point.
The shakes and foggy head are ALL part of the withdrawal process. YOU CAN do this without them. Your anxiety level will be up due to the detoxing also. Breathing like you are having a baby and sit and relax and breath to get over the anxiety burst.

The chillls, restless legs, muscle aches and diarreha are all part of the detox. They are because of the opiates. Stay away from Tramadol....it IS an opiate. The Zofran will be good for you.

The restless legs will stay for awhile but the muscle aches will get better everyday cause the opiates are leaving your system. I actually lost about 25 pounds my first detox and alot of it was muscle mass because of the withdrawal.

The brain fog is going to stay for a while too. And that can come and go. Don't be surprised if you have using dreams too. Those are weird.

Hang in there....you CAN do this! DO NOT USE you are about over the hump!!!!

Startingover444

Totally agree with Billeth and Likehappiness. Each time you pop a pill its holding you back. Just go with the WD symptoms, they wont last forever although it feels that way sometimes. The exhaustion, nausea and brain fog pass, but we have to allow the body to heal its own way, and that is by giving it time and rest.

I lost weight on my withdrawal too, its just our body adjusting.

Keep at it bones, it will pass, and in the great scheme of things, fairly quickly considering the abuse we have heaped on ourselves.

boneyard

I don't if it's the benzos or the hydro or what. I had waves of panic rushing through me, surreal. I recognize that has one of my panic attacks, and I got worried that I dropped the benzos too fast. I don't want to take them at all, took .5 but didn't do much, I still feel it, just wanted to avoid the panic.

What a nice WD, each day something neat to look forward to. I am pissed off now, this is fustrating. I will go the distance but come on, this is the pits. How long does this last, honestly. I can handle the physical stuff, the panic feeling is terrible.

boneyard

I have to be right in the head in six days. I have to be.

boneyard

I have a big meeting coming up to present to some clients, I can't do that like this.

boneyard

Ok, 3 pm on Day 4 and while I woke up in a panic, and I did take .5 Ativan, I feel driven to get this out of my system forever. I just got super depressed, which means that maybe the physical part is fading into the mental challenge ahead. I need to read up on this so I know what to expect now. I had a major crush wd symptoms that lasted four hours, finally relenting.

likehappiness

Boneyard....panic and anxiety are part of the withdrawal. Like I said sit for a minute and close your eyes and deep breath. It WILL help. You will need to take a little extra time to get things done. You can give the presentation but just don't RUN to work. It helps bring on the anxiety. Take is a little slow and steady. Kind of keep yourself in casual mode when you are at work and stay as relaxed as you can.

You will be tired on Monday but you will be better. You should be able to work. I went back on my anti-depressants after my withdrawal. They really, really helped and do not think for a minute that any of us weren't emotional. That also happens. The drugs really screw with your body and your head. There isn't any area that isn't effected.
You are about there....KEEP GOING!

GravyDave

I agree with everything likehappiness said. I'm almost at my 1 week mark and I feel ok. MUCH better than days 3-4 that's for sure. Along with the large amounts of Immodium I am also using L-Tyrosine (amino acid) with B-6 caps. I got the Tyrosine at GNC and the B-6 caps at walmart. It took a couple days but I am noticing a great increase in my overall mood. It also helps support the nervous system (which detox shocks the hell out of.) I am only telling you what I have used during my recovery. Everyone is different. You're almost over the hump - keep fighting and staying strong. Try to stay away from the ativan completely from this day on. We're all pulling for you! You WILL get through this!

boneyard

Thanks so much for checking up on me. I am feeling pretty good right now, something about the night, my mood lifts around 8 pm all the time, I have a problem with morning blues for some reason. I cried a bit today, never really do that, I thought, "Oh crap, here comes all the emotions you've spent years blotting out." But, there's a lot going on. I only took .5 of the Ativan today, that's pretty great considering, and I will do my best to steer clear of it from here on out. It didn't do much, I was already worked up by then.

I am hoping for a good day tomorrow, I want to notice the difference, I don't want to lay in bed kicking my legs around and tightening and relaxing my muscles, as you all know that sucks.

I'm glad I did this. But, this house sure is boring as hell at night, I never noticed in my chemically-induced euphoria. Sober house, Sober CVS, Sober Drives. It looks good to me, and it's a must, but it's all so different, I haven't been anywhere sober since about 2005 actually. Isn't that amazing, I spent all those years doing something? I had a problem with street drugs before this, mainly to cure a massive depression. And none of this started until my 30s, like who becomes a drug addict in their 30s ? I did. Weird to process. I was bored and thats where it gets you when you don't find healthy ways not to be bored.

I so thankful I have this forum.

boneyard

Yes, the drugs to screw with your mind, I was taking them to erase myself, now here I am again. What a wake-up call.

boneyard

I want a motorcycle as soon as I am throughly sober. I'm super happy I didn't buy one last year when I wanted one, I'd be dead now driving f-d up on hydro. At the time it seemed like a perfectly good idea to me .

boneyard

You're doing a great job GravyDave. I whine way too damn much, but that's OK because no one knows what I look like. hehe.