yippee!! i'm finally back!!

[maria]

hello everyone,
i was able to get back by minimizing my aol window and opening internet explorer and then search for sr there. and then just sign in from there. i hope it helps someone. as for how i'm doing, not great. i got stuck at 6, then went to 8 per day. if you remember, i take phenergan and ultram. the phenergan boosts the high of the ultram. i'm running out of the phenergan, so i think it will be easier to taper because i probably won't get any high from just the ultram. i didn't get a chance to check out online meetiings yet. mother is in the hospital. cardiac cath tomorrow am. i have to be there, i'm the one in the family who understands the medical lingo. well, i'm so glad i'm back! i know i'll get a lot of support here. remember, i haven't let anyone here(family or friends) know about relapse. very grateful to have you guys.

thanks again,
love maria

[bikewench]

Hi Maria... Glad your here... :shades2:

I'm not familiar with your DOC, but I can relate to the family thing...

Good luck with your mother tommorrow... I feel for anyone who has a sick loved one.. and I hope you do something nice/healthy for yourself to bolster your spirits.

[eddie z.]

Maria,
So glad to hear from you! I was JUST getting ready to post a thread looking for you and Ski and Ashley.

Sorry the taper is not going well. Have you been back to the addicitionologist? Or been to any meetings? I can't remember where you stood with that. Anyway, I hope things get better for you!

Love, Eddie

[maria]

eddie,
is that a picture of you?? no, i haven't been to the dr again. i don't feel i gave it a fair try yet. i haven't been able to get to meetings. step mother having card cath in am. i do plan to try online meetings. i have always refused meetings before, but now i do plan to go.
thanks for caring.
love maria

[eddie z.]

Maria,
You're welcome.
Yep! That's me...21 years ago, though. Maybe I'll try another online meeting myself and maybe I'll see you there. Best wishes to you!
Love, Eddie

[2stop]

Welcome back Marie..Glad you could get back on. I too have had dealings with ultram and phenergan. although the vicodins and morphine are my doc. It is hard that is for sure. I haven't had any vics in months. But am starting withdrawals from methadone tablets and fentanyl patches. You can do this. See your doc though and get checked out, very important. And keep posting. I am not looking forward to the next few weeks..but am determined to have my very last detox this time. I have detoxed sooo many times. It's no way to live. Sending hugs and love your way. hang in there..and keep trying. Success to me is mainly getting up one more time than we are knocked down. I can hear your enthusiasm to beat this..and you can. *Hugs*

[maria]

eddie, 2stop and all,
my real doc is vicodin. the thoughts of them have started to pop up in my mind. that's when i said i have to put an end to this real quick. i have detoxed from vicodin before and i don't ever want to go through that again!well, thanks for all the support and caring. i'll be keeping you posted.
"hugs" right back to you all.
love,
maria

[eddie z.]

Maria,
It's good that you shared that about the thoughts of Vicodin. It's funny how once you tell, some of the craving goes away. That part of what meetings are about, for me, at least. There's a meeting going on in chat right now if you're interested. I can't go due to 'puter problems, but maybe you should give it a try like you said!
Love, Eddie

[ksos]

Hi Maria...

I didn't have any idea what phenergan was and I just looked it up online. It seems to be an antihistimine (a very powerful one) which potentiates the action of narcotics--so I think that's why the combination with Ultram makes you "higher" than you would be if you were just on the Ultram alone. I've taken Ultram a couple of times, years ago, and I never knew that it was addiciting until I spoke with some doctors about it. I guess there will be a withdrawal to deal with. The taper idea sounds good, if you can do it.

I cannot speculate as to what a w/d with Ultram is like, but withdrawing from Vicodin is one of the most painful experiences I've had. Even worse than a Klonopin taper. Vicodin should be a schedule II controlled substance in my opinion and Ultram should be controlled. I think, as time goes on, both these drugs will be scheduled in accordance to their addicitve potenetial.

[eddie z.]

Hey, ksos!! Good to see you. I've been trying for 5-6 years to get someone to bet against me that Ultram will become a controlled substance and no one's biting. Guess that says something.

I've taken it, too and it makes me feel pretty much the same as codeine.

Love, Eddie

[maria]

hello everyone,

real quick note to check in. stepmom had one artery 80% blocked. he put in a medicated stent. she'll be home tomorrow. i ran out of phenergan. only took 6 ultram today. hopefuly all down hill from here for tapering! i'll try for online meeting tomorrow night or wed. hope everyone is doing alright. i'll be in touch.

love,
maria

[Chy]

Welcome home Maria!

[eddie z.]

(((maria))),
Yes, just stay in touch! Congratulations on stepping down on the Ultram.
Love, Eddie

[maria]

hello,

just checking in again for now. i'm off waiting for a dryer to be delivered and then i have to go sign papers at the lawyers office. yesterday i took 7. not too bad. lets see how today goes. i'm hoping to find online meeting today or tonight sometime. my son is in the " i hate life, and i don't want to go to school any more " mode. he'll be 13 may 30th. need i say more? so that was the discussion of the evening last night. "what do you like about life mom?" (at 10:30 pm mind you). well anyway, he went to school without a peep out of him. i'll check in later. hope everyones doing good today. hugs to all.

love maria

[eddie z.]

:bow

Hey! Seven IS less than eight, right? Now, if I could just smoke that few cigarettes. Hang in there, maria!
Love, Eddie