If you are in pain does it count?????

[Brandydear]

I would really appreciate if maybe somebody could set me straight.I got to thinking, I take ultram to make my constant pain go away and if I go off of it what do I have to gain except being in pain? If I'm in real pain does it count if I'm addicted? I told my husband when he found out how many I take a day(about 20) and I explained to him that was it wrong for me not to be wanting to be in pain?Maybe I am trying to make excuses for myself but you know I have a whole bottle of vicodin in my bedroom that I have'nt touch just because ever since I have taken ultram narcotics don't effect me.What's up with that? Have I fried something in my head?Do I need to quit ? I would really appreciate anybody's point of view who knows where I'm coming from. Thanks so much!!!! Brandydear

P.S. I wish more people knew about this website because everybody is great!

[Chy]

The idea your taking 20 pills a day and not being effective is an indication you have built up such a tolerance, it's negated it's original intention, being to relieve your pain.

So why continue to take all those pills if it's not helping? I think you know the answer. THE best thing you can do is to see your doctor.

We can not dispense medical opinions or advice but I assure you your headed down a dangerous road if this behavior continues. You will find a lot of support here and only the doctor at this point should decide how you should go about quitting, as narcotic withdrawal can be dangerous.

Do yourself a big favor and see the doctor, and be completly honest about how much your taking.

[Trooth]

I agree with Chy, seek a doctor and be completely open. Taking 20 a day is going to kill you eventually. I had an uncle die in his 40's because of a back injury that required a lot of pain killers. The pain killers pretty much weakened his heart, and then other factors all contributed to a massive heart attack. If you try to look at the consequences of taking that much a day compared to the back pain, I think you can make a much better decision, but go to a doctor and let them know everythingl, they aren't there to judge you, they are there for medical advice.

[wishIsedNO]

Yes you might of been in pain..But our mind is oh so powerful...And many times us addicts can think something so much that we actually feel it..Your pain might of seized but from all your pill popping you might havent even notice..And your fear of the pain made your body take the slightest bad feeling and double it up...Also i dont know much about ultram..But its like an opiate isnt it?..and im sure it had physical withdrawal symptoms?...and you can confuse that with the pain you felt...
Im a heroin addict...and i remember after just 7 hours from my last hit i would begin to think i was totally sick..and begin to panick..Yea i did in reality begin to withdraw but at that time withdrawal symptoms are so small i didnt need to freak as i did..I also had a friend who after a year of being clean..In the want of using she made herself feel as if she was dope sick and went out and relapsed..When everyone knows that was just in her mind..or like my counselor says could have been physical symptoms of a trigger..Something u see makes u want to use and the thought of using can get u physically ill...I also had something like that happen to me..I went ot florida to try and run from my addiction(we all know that dont work)...I began using down there...But quit because the dope was too expensive and the person i found had such weak stuff i thought it stupid to waste my money...But i planned to go home convinced my mom to let me come back..within 3 weeks i was on a plane...by then i was about a month and half clean..but when the plane hit NYC my stomach began to spin..my palms sweaty...my nose began to run...and i was shaking with chills my sister was with me..and she was like whats wrong...once we were in the airport i ran to the bathroom to puke my brains out..I knew i was gonna use and the excitement and also knowing how wrong it was got me sick...
Now im sure your life might not have anything to do with what i been saying...But i do believe you are an addict and need to get help...I dont know exactly whats causing your pain so i dont know if it can be helped without having to be on pills..But if it can i think if i was u and truely wanted to stop i would get help for my addiction and then get help for whatever pain i was having..
But from what you sed in your forum it seems you arent even ready to make a step yet..You seem to me to be contemplating what you want to do...Even though a pill habit is much different from a heroin habit only in the fact u have a prescription and we have to hit the streets...we are both addicts..and with that our drug of choice fills our everyday life...We think about it we plan our days around it..and we cant go without it..So if you want your life to get to the point where it strips you of everything you know and love and leave you with nothing but yourself and the drug..I would really start to do instead of question...I wish you the best...and keep coming back...This place has added so much to my recovery..i dont know where i be if i didnt have the help of the many caring people on here...Jackie

[ssindi]

I know these are things you probably don't want to hear but 20 pills per day of anything is not good. I agree with what everyone above said about using and pain. I used 20-30 pills a day for three years and would use early in the morning because I would shake and did not feel good, sick to stomach, I kept using just not to be sick, it is a vicious cycle to continue. It is the cycle of addiction and has to be stopped.

It is not easy, please talk to your doctor and get help

[Gooch]

I deal with a lot of pain on a regular basis.. I have chronic arthritus, some left over trauma from a motorcycle accident a few years back, and get horrible migraines. My upmost prioroty is my recovery. Anything that I put in front of that I will lose anyway. There are a whole bunch of alternatives to managing pain besides, and sometimes in addition to medication.

My choices are chiropratic adjustmets, heating pads, hot showers and tub soaks. When I start having chronic daily trouble I do muscle stretches to relieve the tension on my joints. I alternate between arthritus strength Tylenol, Advil, and Alleve when it comes down to having to take something for pain. Dependng on the weather and what I've most recently put my body through physically I can usually go 3 to 4 days without even taking so much as a tylenol and I am not in the excrutiating pain that incapacitates me or gives rise to the phrase "toughing it out" Before when I used advil or tylenol on a daily basis my body would quickly build a tolarenace to it and it would stop working.

There have been a few incidents like the motorcycle accident that found me in teh ER in so much pain that I was willing to take a calculated risk and let a doctor prescribe a small amount of a pain management drug, AFTER I had explained to the doc I was an addict and as soon as i could called my sponsor to fill him in and got to a meeting to let people know I needed extra support.

I can only encourage you to really give some thought to alternatives. If you decide to give something a try. don't give up your course if it doesn't seem to work instantly.. Time takes time.