when are the crack dreams gonna end??

[MootPoint]

its been YEARS since I used and I still have the dreams. My sleep last night was ruined by them.

[dotcom]

hi moot

my name is dotcom and im an addict. DOS 01-17-03. darn those dreams, huh? my doc is crystal, but i can relate to the vivid using dreams. fortunately, i havent remembered any of my dreams, except for a few, since the first five months of sobriety. im very sorry your sleep was ruined by them. thats no fun. ill be praying for you. maybe tonight will be better? hope so.

dot

[MootPoint]

I can't remember my date of sobriety from crack but it was in late 2001 or early 2002 when I used it once after 2 yrs sobriety (I had the dreams during the 2 yrs too). I'm recovering from alcohol (april 12 2003) but don't have alcohol dreams. AND I'm recovering from overuse of prescription drugs since Oct 10, 2003. No dreams from those either! Only the @#$@$!! CRACK dreams.

I have these dreams about 4 times a week and my sleep is ruined by them. I don't crave crack anymore because of the dreams, though I sometimes crave it when I'm having a tough times, it just ruins my sleep.

Thanks for replying Dotcom..... and be glad your dreams let up after a few months.

[dotcom]

hi moot

woo hoo on the your sobriety from alco and prescriptions. thats awesome! i havent had anything since 01-17-03. although, i quit smoking cigs about 2 months ago. 4 months ago i had quit, but would smoke one every couple weeks, last cig was 2 months ago at the casino. sometimes my dreams about crystal were so real, i could taste the smoke. ive dreamt about using needles again too...that was disturbing. i guess i was craving so bad i dreamt it! i felt relief after the dream, i guess almost like i just took a hit, but then i felt only a little guilty...which concerned me! but i figure, im doing alright, and better to dream about it than to use, right! let me know how your doing and if you get a good night sleep tonight!

dot

[Trooth]

My crack dreams have all but disappeared in the past 2 months. That doesn't necessarily mean they wont resurface. I have dreams about weed sometimes. I had a dream last night, kind of weird and off the wall, but one thing stood out to me. I bumped into a girl I knew from high school, and she said something like get away pot head. I told her I had quit all of the drugs, and she smiled and said something to me, and I went my way.

Maybe my subconscious is proud of itself for getting off the drugs, or maybe I have realized that those things are in my past. This is bringing up some questions for me regaurding NA and even AA. Is dwelling on the past exactly healthy? Granted I don't think I am cured, if I relapsed it would be very bad, and very dangerous. But I also spend my days now doing new things away from drugs, and there is no focus or constant reminders. If you talk about it all the time, or think about it all the time, you are going to dream about it.

Just some thoughts, and I do think that AA and NA are wonderful programs by the way.

[MootPoint]

I think more about my compulsive overeating than I do drugs or alcohol. I have no clue where these dreams are coming from. Its been friggin' YEARS. Last night, I didn't have one that I remembered

[daisey35]

Dreams are our bodies way of working through things. You may still have some things your subconscious needs to get out. Maybe there are other issues you are starting to deal with now, and your brain is just manifesting it with using dreams. Just remember, they are only DREAMS. Stay clean, those dreams can't hurt ya'. You say you think more about your overeating--perhaps those dreams are stemming from that concern, and because it is an issue that bothers you, it manifests as something you KNOW was a problem in your life? If overeating is an issue for you, start work on that now. It is good to talk about things, helps in getting it out.
Hang in there!

Daisey

[MootPoint]

I am starting to work on the overeating.

The worst part about these dreams is that they are usually about me trying to score crack, leaving me awake and still, in my mind, trying to score. Ugh.

I do remind myself that they are, indeed, just dreams and that I'll work through them.

[SomeFunGuy]

waz up moot,
thanx for inspiring my first post. I was a little weirded out by my crack dreams for quite a while as they were all too real and man did they wake me right the hell up and keep me up. My recovery has been mostly rational emotive therapy through the Veterans Admin, supplemented by CA and NA. I have been working on my addictions by looking at them as coping mechanisms to the outside influences to me(stresses). My addictive behaviors were all ways for me to cope with the stuff in my life I didn't want to deal with on lifes terms. Something negative happens that I dont care for-hit the stem, life is all right for a little while. After a while, everytime something negative happens, just like pavlovs dogs, my mouth waters for some crack. I programed and trained myself to use coke as a coping mechanism. Sometimes I dont even realize at first that there is something stressing me, I just get an urge to use. I've learned that every time I get an urge or craving(stop-look around-listen-whatever)there is something that life is asking me to deal with. I need to deal with life using something other than dope. Nothing in life is free. We use and get INSTANT reward but we only defer the payment. Since I have learned that a craving is related to a stress, I have learned to listen to my feelings, and try and learn new, healthy ways to deal with life. Sometimes it is the hardest thing I have ever had or wanted to do, but I'm replacing all those lost years worth of life that I cheated on. It has been worth every minute in retrospect and I have a lifetime to catch up on. I will never be able to un-see or un-feel what a crack rock does. I have to live with that forever. As I replace the old coping mechanisms(crack) with new healthy ones, my dreams have not bothered me nearly as much. My suggestion is to just take a look at some of the things you might be stressing about recently, and ask yourself how you might be able to better deal with them. Dreams are our subconcious trying to work out problems and stresses in our lives. Keep on tryin brother, and be carefull not to substitute one addictive behavior for another, overeating can be dangerous too. Listen to your feelings and try to be true to yourself. I gave up my family , friends, pets, house, etc before I gave up my addiction. The only person I screwed in the end was me, my body, my oldest friend. Learn to love yourself, and listen to your heart. Its all there if you look hard enough.


peace brother,
Wes

[MootPoint]

Thanx Wes

THat's the kicker........ I still have the same stressors and I have used overeating in place of crack and alcohol. Not too great. Sux actually.

And I always have the memory, as you said, of what that rock can do for me. It has actually spoiled enjoyment in many aspects of life. Just because I quit crack doesn't mean I've found anything as good as it, including food and alcohol. Sigh. I've even lost my, pardon me, sex drive since I quit crack. Everything pales in comparison to that rock.

I wonder if my mind is trying to tell me that I need to find something healthy and enjoyable. Maybe that's why I'm always searching in these dreams, not finding. Hmmmmmmmm.

Overeating is definately dangerous. I've gained 80 lbs since Jan 3, 2001 and have all the probs associated with obesity. Not the way to go.

[SomeFunGuy]

When I was in treatment we took a look back at the time when we first started using and at times of relapse. Its kind of difficult , but if your honest with yourself and really dig deep enough, you will see the triggers that led to using. Mine had a lot to do with being lonely and looking for acceptance from friends and wanting to find a mate. Ecstacy and cocaine were a common denominator, and once I found someone that used, that was something we had in common. Other redeeming values didn't matter at that time. Take a look at the positive consequences(there had to be some otherwise you wouldnt have used)and that is a start on trying to figure out your personal triggers. My guess is that there is something , something, that has re-surfaced and is triggerring your urges. Wanting to escape a problem, Acceptance(low self-esteem), Maybe even just thinking that its the only way to have fun, only you know the reasons that you were using.


Get out and find something recreational(mental or physical). Break the word down RE---CREATE yourself. learn to spend your time for yourself and have fun being yourself. try to not be too hard on yourself either. Heres a quote on forgiveness



Today I understand the true meaning of forgiveness. I had thought that forgiving was what good and nice people did. I thought I should do it because it is the right thing to do. I now understand that to forgive someone else is to forgive myself. When I hold anger in my mind, my unconcious does not know for whom that feeling is meant-it only knows that it is a container for resentment. To forgive is to let go and to release my own mind from being caught in the cycle of going over and over the hurt. I am not forgiving for the good of the other person. I am forgiving for the good of myself so that I can be free and move on. Forgiveness is a gift, a state of grace that benifits the giver as much or more than the receiver. If I am to heal fully,I will need to forgive fully.

"Do as the heavens have done, forget your evil; With them forgive yourself"

[MootPoint]

I know that I haven't forgiven all my addictions and what I did during them. I haven't reached Step 9 and am afraid to do so...... really afraid.

Reinvent yourself........ that is a difficult thing to do, maybe more difficult than quitting. Tho I think it may be a necessary one.

I know what I found good about crack, and what I found bad. And I know that I'm in a similar situation (except I'm broke) now. Sigh.

Thanks Guy.

[SomeFunGuy]

Its OK to be afraid. That happens when we are opening up ourselves and becoming vulnerable. Only through becoming vulnerable do we learn to trust ourselves and others. That is one of the things we cheated on with our addictions. We may use the tools of our mind wrongly, but the mind possesses no wrong tools.

[MootPoint]

"We may use the tools of our mind wrongly, but the mind possesses no wrong tools."
------- something to ponder!!