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Shooting up saline ?? Does it happen ??

Old 07-18-2012, 08:20 PM
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Shooting up saline ?? Does it happen ??

I dont want to trigger anyone here, so I will keep it as simple as possible.

I found some needles in my boyfriends duffle, and finally asked him about it.

I was afraid he had gone back to shooting up cocaine, although its been a year.

He said that on a recent trip to the family doc for bloodwork, he was able to swipe some saline filled syringes, and needles. He took about a dozen and has been using them to fill this void he has had of missing the needle. He only has a couple left, and he has showed them to me. They are clearly marked, and also sealed in plastic. Plus, he is getting regular drug test for his employer and he has passed all of them.

However, he admits to being close to relapse, but he has been working with a psychiatrist for months and says he has added an extra day per week.

Just looking for thoughts on this.
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Old 07-18-2012, 08:44 PM
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Bluejaybird,

I have no personal experience with this but am told there's a bit of rush in the ritual. I suppose it's like the rush I used to get coming home from the store with my cheap wine. A friend of mine who's a recovering heroin addict tells me she gets huge cravings from the smell of isopryl alcohol as she used to clean her needles and swab her arm in the isopryl alcohol.

I think your boyfriend is on thin ice. I hope you're taking care of yourself with alanon and maybe reading some books/literature on codependency.

Please take care of you!

love from Lenina
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Old 07-18-2012, 09:11 PM
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The ritual of shooting up itself was definitely addictive to me, and shooting up anything would be a HUGE trigger. Even when I go in to get my blood drawn I get a rush when I feel the needle, and then I get crazy cravings for the rest of the day.
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Old 07-19-2012, 04:06 AM
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I would say that it would easily be a trigger, but there would be no reason for him to actually be doing it. I guess it's theoretically possible that it could have a placebo affect if it was someone who didn't know they were only shooting up saline. As he knows what it is, that's unlikely though.
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Old 07-19-2012, 08:44 AM
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It does happen and definitely sounds like he is heading for relapse if he hasn't already. Rituals are hard to break, but if he has been clean for a year and is still obsessing over it something might be missing in his recovery. Honesty is very important (imho) when it comes to recovery and when you start sneaking around and lying or hiding things it eventually catches up with you. As they say a relapse ends with usings which means it usually starts way before the actual use. For many addicts once they cross a certain line it is next to impossible for them to avoid the relapse. We have to be forever vigilent and honest with ourselves to avoid crossing that line. I hope you are getting some help for yourself too. He is going to do what he is going to do. Take care!
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Old 07-19-2012, 08:58 AM
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My heroin addict boyfriend gave me this same line of hogwash and that's exactly what I thought it was and I turned out to be right. If they'll use a needle for "saline" or, in the case of my AB he said he just used "water", then they will DEFINITELY use it for anything and everything else.
Also I'm not sure where you live but in GA you can go into any Kroger or pharmacy and just BUY needles. Easy, right? That's the only thing that doesn't sit right with me. If my AB said that he'd stolen them from the doctor I'd be like, where's your receipt? Why'd you go? Where'd you go? Why are you STEALING when you can just BUY them...that's what I'd be pondering.
Then again, my AB seems to think that if he can convince me he "got" the stuff through "legitamate" means that I can't find fault with that.
Kind of like how he told me for months he was clean off dope even though I knew he wasn't and that when it came to light he was abusing methadone, suboxone, etc etc etc...he was like, see? I'm not using drugs, that's MEDICINE. Yeah...right. It's just The Man's dope. There is NO difference.
Thanks Uncle Sam.
I felt sick for you reading this, I hate finding that stuff. It never gets easier to see it and I'm sorry for that.
I'm glad counseling is involved. In your position I would probably just try to positively support his going and talking with someone or a LOT of someone's.
I am skeptical about the meetings though because my AB used them to find drugs. It's sick...but predators will go to the meetings to find clients. It's as easy as *snap* that.
If I never saw another needle in my life it would be too soon.
My heart goes out to you and yours.
Tread carefully.
And remember NOTHING is your fault. We are all powerless. Some days I can almost find comfort in that and I'm trying to get to the point where it comforts me constantly.
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Old 07-19-2012, 12:18 PM
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Thank you everyone for your replies. I wasnt sure how common this was, but I was able to find a little bit about it on soem other recovery sites too.

I really think from his attitude and behavior; he hasnt taken the next step yet. But I think you are absoultely right, he is having a relapse in his mind, and letting himself go there. He admitted as much, and said what was stopping him is that he doesnt want to go down that road again, he remembers all he lost, and knows how hard he has worked to rebuild his life, career, relationships.

I honestly think the drug test required by his employer is also a big factor because he knows he cant really hide it if he starts.

Things have been fine between us; I would not have suspected anything other tha nmild stress, if I had not stumbled upon the needles in his duffle (not snooping, I was just taking out clothes for the laundry)

Im hoping his Dr, appointments will get him back on track. We have a vacation coming up, and I told him that if he wanted to use that time to focus on himself, if he needed some inpatient, or anything like that. It was fine with me. His health is whats most important. He swears no he is going to be ok.

Thank you so much for your input and everything. I have gone through one relapse with him, but it was not injecting; it was snorting coke and it only lasted a couple of days and thats when he started seeing the psychiatrist to help him.

HEWHOSLEEPS,

thank you for sharing yoru personal story. So similiar our two guys. I know my boyfriend really did go to the dr and I think he is telling me the truth about how he got the supplies, but Ive had people say no, that makes no sense he is lying. But like you, its like why lie about that? Because no, I dont think it is illegal to buy needles, or syringes, or saline. I really think he somehow just had the opportunity and he grabbed some. Its hard to understand, because I cant relate to enjoying getting jabbed with a needle. he texplained it to me about how it makes him feel, and he says its so far from the real thing but still.... hes setting himself up getting comfortable with this , and then the rest becomes easier.
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Old 07-21-2012, 04:47 PM
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I don't mean to cause upset by any of this, I'm just typing out what I'm thinking from reading this:
1) Why is he stealing? Because to me, that's the main part of everything you wrote originally. That's what I focus on. Forget the needles, saline, setting himself up, etc. He stole that stuff right out of the doctors room according to his own testimony. For me with my AB...stealing goes hand in hand with lying. Lying goes hand in hand with using. Using means I'm going to get pooped on if I choose to stay in the situation. So for me the fact that he readily admits he stole seems on the surface like a great, honest situation...but it also worries me and if my AB said that it would set off all sorts of triggers for me. I guess it sounds real messed up but I think I'd rather have my AB buy needles than hear he stole them. It's just real risky behavior and leads to arrest. Why risk that? I don't trust it.
2) Texplained? I've never heard the term but I'm guessing it means he texted you to explain all this stuff about "getting comfortable" with the possibility of using drugs, stealing from the doctors office, shooting up saline (yeah right in my experience with my AB) and all that stuff. Man!...if my AB "texplained" all that to me?! I wouldn't stand for it. What I mean is...texts are impersonal. No tone. No emotion. Easy to misconstrue. It's not...communication. It takes no effort. No eye contact. No...well anything. It's easy. No growth has to occur. No real regret has to register. You write it. You send it. You're off the hook. It's almost like a memo: Fyi I'm getting comfortable with the possibility of doing drugs. Wow. I only bring it up because it sets off alarms in my head for you. Can you guys talk about this stuff in person? Do you? Because I don't even know you and I know you deserve someone who can talk to your face about what's on their mind. I'm also asking because there was a time when my AB and I literally couldn't talk face to face in any manner that we were both able to with other people about his addiction. Anything else we were great. But the addiction? No way. So we had to (as part of our recoveries) learn a new way of communication between ourselves and kinda learn HOW to talk about this stuff in person. So that's why I ask.
That's all. I just have concerns about this and I will be thinking of you and wishing you the best in this situation.
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Old 07-23-2012, 01:15 AM
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could have been a typo ...texplained
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Old 08-03-2012, 02:00 PM
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Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to update my post because a lot has changed... for the better.

First, my boyfriend was indeed telling me the truth; he had not gone back to using coke, but was on teh verge and did shoot up saline several times.

Before I even knew about this, he was however being pro-active and had increased his appointments with his psychiatrist to 2x week, in an effort to get things back under control. Took him a while but he also admitted to the Dr. he was shooting the saline, and once he did that and had it out in the open with me and his Dr. I think it really helped him a lot.

Earlier this week, he passed a drug test (done on hair sample) that is required every couple months by his employer. He was totally CLEAN !

After he explained what was going on, I thought he would be - but it was nice to see it on paper and know for sure.

He is doing a lot better now, and he says he is feeling like he is back on track, and I personally think he even gained a bit of confidence because he has got through it, openly acknowledged it, etc.

After he told his doctor about how i had found the needles and syringes, and had waited about 2 weeks to confront him, and of course been really worried.... his psych dr. suggested he might want to invite me to a session and we could talk about relapse, the whole things about attraction to the needle, and I could maybe get some insight on my feelings as all this was taking place. So, my boyriend did invite me & I went, and it was really helpful, and very insightful learning more about triggers, and various things.

So anyway, I just wanted to update and let everyone know that it has had a positive outcome this time around... and with luck and hard work, maybe nothing like this will happen to him again. Im really proud of him for stepping up, and figuring out what he needed to do to get things back under control.

Oh, and to HeWhoSleeps ... I just read your post above. Thank you for all you have shared. the word Texplained was just a typo. I dont know how the T got in there. My boyfriend has always been good with commuication, face to face.. but you are so right - none of this could have been handled in an indirect way like through texting.
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