Codeine Addiction

[AtomChick]

Thanks Kasserine!

Yesterday afternoon it was sunny here so I helped a friend for a bit then I worked on cleaning up the yard all afternoon. I felt good but slightly agitated and mentally emotional. Lastnight I met up with some friends and played a few games and then went to bed.

Today is Day 6- I didn't sleep well because I was at someones elses house but got home and slept like a baby for a good nap. The joint pain is almost gone but my muscles ache like I just ran a marathon.... Mentally I'm alert which is good. The headache comes and goes yet its dull and manageable. I still have a slight ringing in my ears and next time I'm at my doctors office, I will have her check it out. I know I have to keep reminding myself that I'm an addict of codeine and therefore I need to stay away from any opiate product. So.... I worry when something happens to me, if the doc will be able to prescribe something that I won't get addicted to.... I have to remind myself I'm an addict.... I can't ever go back to what I was doing. Today I feel good.

[AtomChick]

Well just now I dropped an Advil on the floor and went to pick it up and found a Ty1...... I scrambled. I would have needed more than 1 to get a lift off it but non the less it freaked me out. I immediately flushed it down the toilet and had a memory..... Its been over 21yrs since I stopped using cocaine. I had a severe addiction to it at the time and quit that cold turkey too..... I don't ever get cravings for blow and one memory keeps me from never touching it ever. I'm sure we have all done this one (whomever loved their blow like I did). Getting on your hands and knees and looking in the carpet for that last crumb you thought you dropped..... I have other bad memories too such as being called a junkie by a stranger who saw me doing it in public at an event. I have very bad memories of those days that shamed me. It dawned on me today I have to remember the things about Tylenol 1 that shamed or embarrassed me to keep me from going to buy a bottle. I can't ever go back.

[Stopdropburn]

@atom It feels good to say to yourself that you're actually clean, doesn't it? I found it highly encouraging. Sounds like you're still doing well. I'm not sure about the Demerol/Morphine thing.....I suppose it just wasn't enough to beat what was in your system? Some people react differently, or don't react, to different medications. There's not a whole lot you can do about pain management in the future. I was just discussing this with someone else. I too wondered.....but you may seriously need something one day down the road. You can always give medications to someone else to dispense to you. Or discuss non-opioid or dosing options with your doctor. Don't stress about it now, just work on what you're doing. Good move flushing that pill by the way. Strong decision. As for the hands and knees search, we've all been there.....being an addict is never a proud thing. Hope you're well, keep up the big strides.

[AtomChick]

Thanks StopDrop!

Went for a nice long walk tonight. I'm finding my energy levels are getting better now that I'm now in the fog of being on those pills anymore. Plus I have to keep busy to keep my mind from thinking.... Well its almost time for bed as its a work day tomorrow. Can't wait to get my finances back in order again. I realized that I was buying 4 bottles at 200ct, every two weeks....that's $63 and change..... Omg. That's enough to pay my cell phone every month!!

[AtomChick]

Day 7 here. I'm a little tired because I woke up during the night. I'm at work and feel pretty good except the top of my legs the muscles are burning..... I'm sure the RLS will pass. Its only annoying though. I have a dull headache but its definitely not enough to use an advil for. I'm more stressed about money right now. What a great time to be off the Opiate money sucking dragon.....

[AtomChick]

Well all my activities are done for today. Work is done, a meeting is done, dinner made and eaten, and a hot bath. I'm feeling worried about nothing in particular, I'm a little anxious and nervous. Physically, my legs are burning a little with RLS, and tingly..... No tummy pain but a touch of a nagging headache. Emotionally I just feel a little down.

[Stopdropburn]

@Atom Sounds like you're in common grounds right about now. All normal symptoms, even milder than some might be at your position. So I think you're doing great, keep it up!

[Chrisy]

adom,

I just wanted to say this is my first day and I am getting inspiration from your posts. please keep posting. I called my pain management doctor and told them I had stopped taking the oxycodone as I had been on the opiates for too many years now for pain management and that I had become addicted to it and on Wed. when I go that we work on finding a non opiate to use. They are going to call into the Target something that they said would help with withdrawals don't know what it is yet, but will let you know. I cancaled my pt tomorrow and told them why and would try and keep my appointment next week. Hopefully by then I will feel somewhat normal and in the land of the living.

Good luck and I wish you the best. We can make it through. We can stop. We must stop. God Bless and Love and Blessing.

Chrisy

[stillsleeping]

Hi Atom, and the rest of you who are doin the same thing,

SO sorry I dropped off this post - I had trouble with my internet all weekend and couldn't access the site at all.

I'm so impressed with you for this - you frickn went and did it!! I hope you're feeling okay today, and that you post when you get up - it's be lovely to hear from you. Well done girl!

Still
xx

[AtomChick]

Day 8- Well I worked real hard lastnight and am stiff and sore today but its because of the physical activity I did. I had RLS lastnight, and still a dull headache a little. A hot bath took care of that. I used .5mg of my prescribed lorazapam to settle me down for sleep and one 200mg Advil. I slept very well. The one thing I'm reading is that the tabs I was abusing Tylenol 1 even in the high high dosage I did, has a short half life so maybe thats why I peaked within 40 hours of detoxing at home. I have energy now, and I have to keep busy anyhow or I start to get a little down. I feel good today. Today I wonder why I didn't do this years ago but I would get those rebound headaches and run right back to the store ashamed of myself. I can honestly say the "Tapering off" method did not work for me. I would drop from 12-10-8-6-5-4-3.... then something would happen to set me off, and BAM...... 12 pill down the YAP...... Nope, didn't work for me, and I tell ya, I would sit at someones bedside if they wanted to try CT.....

Chrisy, Let me know how you are and how it goes!! Just do it I know you can. If you need any help at all, let me know because I'm hear, I have a cell and if you need to text or whatever, I sure will to get you thru the worst and so on. The light on the other side of the peak of detox is strong and beautiful. ITs like Utopia.

StopDrop and Stillsleeping- thanks so much, both of you really stuck by me thru the most horrible few days of my life.

[keltie]

Great for you Atom!! I am so glad to hear you're feeling better with more energy. Keep posting because you're an inspiration!

[stillsleeping]

I didn't! I totally got barred and I'm really sorry Back now though.

Glad your energy is starting to come back - the next couple of weeks should be pretty good, if experience is any guide...

Chrisy, how you doin hun?

I gotta go sit in a two hour meeting now bah!

xx

[AtomChick]

Thanks Keltie, I appreciate that. I wanted this place to be a reminder for me when I read back, how aweful it was going through the peaking of detox. BLAH.

Nice to see you back stillsleeping!!! I miss ya over the weekend but got out of bed and did some fun stuff. My kids still think I had the flu, and unlike others, I don't feel the need to share my story because it just unloads the baggage onto them.

[Chrisy]

Atom,

To answer your question, about the body being immuned to the pain pills because you have been on them so long. My shoulder doctor who may have to operate is pissed because i was misdosed with fibro and given opiate pain pills and it wasn't until 10 that an mri was ordered and showed i have real issues with the neck and shoulder. When he heard the pain meds I was on he was pissed because now if he has to operate he can't perscribe pain pills that will work on my body. They have to use really powerful stuff in order for your body to respond. We are doing pt now, and I hope that works so I don't have to do the surgery.

We do have valid medical issues that need to be taken care of, as it would be inhuman to leave us screaming out in pain because it is so bad, but there has got to be a better way then giving us pills when they know we are addicts and quickly become addicted to them. I dont' know what the answer is, but i believe that God will show us the way. A higher power of your choice is going to help us when we admit to ourselves that we are powerless to the pain pills. Until we can admit that, we aren't going to be ready to admit we have a problem. I hope that by me being so public on my facebook and blug that my dear friend will see the truth about oxycodone that she is taking for her bad back. Right now she only see that it takes away the pain so she can function. I made the choice take the first step without her.

Don't give up, we will make it. I am here if you need a friend. I am on day 2.

Together with the support of this forum and other people and groups, we can reach the victory line.

Love and blessings.
Chrisy

[stillsleeping]

Nice one guys

Is night time here, off to sober bed. Is good, have finally got used to going to sleep instead of passing out hehe. So glad you guys are on your way, speak tomorrow xxx

[AtomChick]

Day 8 afternoon- slight nausea, and leg cramping, and a constant dull headache, I feel as tho I've gone backwards in recovering from detoxing my body. Feeling discouraged today. Diarehhia is bad today too.

Chrisy- How is your Day 2 going for you? My day 2 was as you may have read, by far the worst experience, well it was evening so maybe 36 hours in it really kicked my a$$.

Stillsleeping!! Have a great sleep and chat tomorrow!!!

[Stopdropburn]

Originally Posted by AtomChick

Day 8- Well I worked real hard lastnight and am stiff and sore today but its because of the physical activity I did. I had RLS lastnight, and still a dull headache a little. A hot bath took care of that. I used .5mg of my prescribed lorazapam to settle me down for sleep and one 200mg Advil. I slept very well. The one thing I'm reading is that the tabs I was abusing Tylenol 1 even in the high high dosage I did, has a short half life so maybe thats why I peaked within 40 hours of detoxing at home. I have energy now, and I have to keep busy anyhow or I start to get a little down. I feel good today. Today I wonder why I didn't do this years ago but I would get those rebound headaches and run right back to the store ashamed of myself. I can honestly say the "Tapering off" method did not work for me. I would drop from 12-10-8-6-5-4-3.... then something would happen to set me off, and BAM...... 12 pill down the YAP...... Nope, didn't work for me, and I tell ya, I would sit at someones bedside if they wanted to try CT.....

Chrisy, Let me know how you are and how it goes!! Just do it I know you can. If you need any help at all, let me know because I'm hear, I have a cell and if you need to text or whatever, I sure will to get you thru the worst and so on. The light on the other side of the peak of detox is strong and beautiful. ITs like Utopia.

StopDrop and Stillsleeping- thanks so much, both of you really stuck by me thru the most horrible few days of my life.

Absolutely, you know we're all here for you. We all have to be for eachother....this is all some of us have. You just keep focusing on staying on track. 67 days in for me.....would've never believed it could happen, but I owe it to this site and the support it gave me.

[Chrisy]

My day 2 is going alright, I am weak and am trying to fell my mind with good thoughts so that I don't focus on how I feel like I am one of the living dead, lol. Trying to keep my half British humor. Watched love actually last night and that helped to keep my thoughts off how bad I feel.

I kicked caffeine a year ago and the withdrawals were terrible of a really bad headache for a whole week. So I don't really have a headache, I am now diabetic and was a sugar addict as when a kid it became my way of numbing the pain when raped and sexually abused and emotionally abused by my mom. I couldn't buy booze at 11 so I used sugar and I ate a lot of sugar everyday. So I am going through sugar withdrawals and my body is fighting being at normal sugar levels so I get the shakes.

Some people might think I am crazy dealing with my oxycodone and sugar additions at the same time, but I believe in killing two birds with one stone.

The pain management doctor yestserday gave me two rx's to help get me through the withdrawals until I see them tomorrow afternoon and because I stopped on my own I am forcing them to look at non opiate pain management treatements for my neck and shoulder which is being treated now.

I am angry because I gave up pot. In my youth pot was my doc. people in their 50 and 60ths who deny trying pot are lying as everyone tried pot at least once in high school and college. I was a daily smoker and a pot head. I never liked the taste of booze. I will say it was alot easier to get off pot years ago. Now in my 50's when I had been clean for years I had a doctor in 02 said my pain in my neck and shoulder was fibro and started me on the pain pill merry go round. In 2010 another doctor didn't think I had fibro so he ordered tests and an mri, and found the reason and I don't have fibro. First they wanted to work on my neck and now we are started the pt on my shoulder. I can tell you my shoulder doctor was pissed that I was told I had fibro and have now been on these pain pills for so long that he doesn't know what pain pill will work if he has to do surgery.

I wonder if I stay off the drugs, if my body will no longer be so tolerant that at some point in the future my shoulder doctor can use pain pills for recovery of shoulder surgery? I just don't know. I am praying that pt will work. Because of the withdrawals I cancelled pt today and told him way. Troy is a good guy who was also pissed that from 02 to 10 I was told I had fibro when I didn't and had been on these opiate pain pills for so long.

I feel that I never want to go through these withdrawals again. I am a caregiver for my elderly 90 year old mother so she understands that I am not able to help her as much. The same doctor that told me I had fibro told her she had cancer and she didn't. She is very much cancer free, though she does have copd. I wonder how many bad doctors are out there? My family has supported the fact that I took myself off these drugs as I felt I was a drug addict being a slave to these drugs.

I just pray my good friend Julie who is also on oxycodone for her back will see the truth. because we didn't buy street drugs but took rx from a doctor she can't see that she is an addict too. I am hoping that she will see it and join the journey to get clean. she too is a slave to that drug as if she forgets to take it she feels really sick, but it isn't enough yet to open her eyes to the truth. I posted this link on my facebook and on my blog for her to see. I hope she will find her way here, but if she doesn't I will continue on the journey that I am on and that is to be clean.

Love and Blessings
Chrisy

[AtomChick]

I went for a long walk tonight, ate dinner, and relaxed and had another hot bath. The nausea and headache cleared up thank god. Now all I'm dealing with is the RLS.....

[Chrisy]

Atom, I am so happy for you. Let us hope the worst is over for you.

I was starting to feel better, but now I am starting to feel worst again. I did manage to eat a english muffin and a sugar free fudge bar. I hope tomorrow I feel better. I go to my pain management doctor tomorrow, so we will see what they suggest for my chronic pain. I have been on opiates sense 2002 ( 10 Years). There must be other choices?

Sweet dreams and hope you have a good night's sleep. Hang in there my friend.

Love and Blessings
Chrisy