Notices

Nothing seems worth doing.

Old 04-14-2012, 04:45 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
khardbored's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 6
Angry Nothing seems worth doing.

I am assuming this is PAWS. I really do hate this. I have zero motivation to do anything. I love playing video games, a passion I have had for 20 years. But right now that doesn't even seem like fun. It's like I am living second by second. I have a caring wife and 4 year old son but even then (and I HATE that opiates have done this to me) it doesn't help much.
No job, no money (no money is probably a good thing right now) but yet my wife goes through her day and seems fine. I watch all these people come and go about their lives and wonder how they do it? Pills and booze is what kept me motivated. I knew that no matter what happened, I could come home and pop a handful of pills and everything would be OK again. Or wait till my kiddo went to sleep and drink myself stupid. I would look forward to these things and thus, kept myself motivated. Now that it is all gone, nothing seems worth doing.

Are there any tips to help make things more enjoyable? Seriously, lol.
Everything gives me anxiety now. 1MG worth of Ativan barely takes the edge off and I don't want to get started on the Benzo road so UG.

Sorry for the wall-o-text. Just blah blah blah, you know?
khardbored is offline  
Old 04-14-2012, 05:00 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 210,930
I think it's normal to feel that way when we adjust to sober life, whatever our drug of choice.

I'm not a Dr so I can't say for sure it's PAWS or not, but this link gives you some ideas on how to maybe minmise its effects - I think they're good suggestions no matter what the problem is

PAWS | Digital Dharma

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 04-14-2012, 05:08 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
khardbored's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 6
Thanks for that link, Dee. I skimmed over it and already gleaned a good bit of info from it. Definitely going to bookmark it. I guess the worst part of this is the fact that there is no quick fix. This process will take time and that is what I am dreading.
I am deathly afraid that my repetitive thoughts of "this would be so much more fun with..." will result in me using. Erg.
khardbored is offline  
Old 04-14-2012, 05:12 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 210,930
support is important to get through those thoughts I think. SR was essential for me some of those lonely nights.

Good to have you here with us

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 04-14-2012, 05:20 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
khardbored's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
support is important to get through those thoughts I think. SR was essential for me some of those lonely nights.

Good to have you here with us

D
That brought tears to my eyes, seriously.
That is another thing I have noticed. I am very emotional as of late. Even while using. I can just break down and cry and cry. It's so odd. I reminisce a lot. Maybe that is the cause, or the opiates, or both. But it's nice to know that I am not alone and I can come on here whenever I need to and read such beautiful words of encouragement from people who are/were just like me.
khardbored is offline  
Old 04-15-2012, 06:08 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 26
Khardboard,
I know what you mean by feeling unmotivated, and watching everyone else in your life do their thing just fine and get things done, while you feel it's an effort to even get a glass of water.

Keep in mind, as these wonderful people on here have taught me, that this IS normal and part of the healing process. Also keep in mind that the little emotional crying spells are NORMAL.

After I got off opiates, the first week, I couldn't stop crying at every little thing (with no reason to cry). The second week got better, but I'd still cry everyday (not sure why). The third week, which just went by, I'm still emotional, and tear up, but now it is not everyday. My emotions are stabilizing. Please believe me when I tell you this is normal.

I think of it as our bodies releasing alot of unconscious pain that we masked while using.

Tears are good. Get it out. It's fine to cry. They cleanse the soul, I'm told. Don't feel bad about that.

Again, as far as not motivation, it gets better. I was just posting about these exact same issues the other day on here. Like one poster said to me, "Give yourself a break". So, to me, that says, "have patience with yourself". This is a process...a long process, but it is true that EVERY day, you get a little bit better and heal just a little bit more. Hang on to that thought...it is what keeps me from going back and using.

There is a GREAT book I'm reading right now (and I hardly recommend any books), that is truly helping me with the motivation part. It is called, "The Law of Sobriety" by Sherry Gaba, (as seen on VHI's Celebrity Rehab). Seriously, this woman knows her stuff.

It is not your typical "get sober" book. She has a way of putting it together of the how's and why's we get addicted, and how to deal with the process of healing, and how to get yourself motivated, without being pushy. She totally respects the P.A.W.S process. Check it out.

I'm on my 23rd day of no opiates, and every day gets a little better. I still have issues with anxiety and sleep, but the motivation (little things like feeling ok enough to tackle cleaning my refrigerator, or getting my mail organized) is slowly coming back. My passion was always antiques and visiting consignment stores. Every weekend I've done it over the last 15 years. I'm almost to the point where I feel like going again. Maybe next weekend.

So, hang in there, know what you are going through is NORMAL, and I'll give you a tip*****if you want your motivation to come back, you need to FORCE yourself to do one thing/day you don't feel like doing. Just one thing. Whether it's taking a long drive to listen to music (which you probably don't feel like listening to), to playing one of your video games, to getting on the floor with your son and stretching and playing.

Make one goal a day. And after a week of hitting these reasonable goals, you'll be more motivated to hit bigger goals.

Best of luck. We are all here as you need us!
TryingOnceAgain is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:29 PM.