kthopkt

I am not an addict but my brother is. I struggle with understanding why his life has turned out the way it has.

What was your childhood before addiction? How many of you had something bad happen before you began using? In your opinion, did your childhood contribute to your addiction?

Thanks for any/all who apply.

JustAYak

Childhood has a lot to do with it in most cases, but not all. It did in my case, but I know many people start recreationally using and then it ends up consuming them...good childhood or not. You can come from the perfect family but still make bad choices...there is an internal drive to use, something you are not happy about within yourself or about your life, it is not an outside factor that "makes" someone become an addict. Sure, bad circumstances or abuse in the home as a child makes you change and influences your choices and how you feel about yourself, but it is not the be all, end all, of why addiction occurs. I had a friend who grew up in a wealthy family, had happily-married parents his whole life, and a sibling who he loved...yet he still found himself an addict, and died doing a drug deal. There is generally something internal going on that remains to be seen to others.

Take a look over on the Friends & Family of Substance Abusers section on this board (scroll down on the main forum index). You'll find a lot of help there.

kthopkt

So you are doing well now!? If so, in your opinion, did your past make it more difficult for you to get sober? With some addicts soberiety is so painful because of the pain they harbor from the past. Was this your case?

looking4oldme

I had a pretty messed up relationship with my father, I used because "work was stressful" or "just for fun"... and I quit using and the relationship with my father has no bearing on my sobriety, yes it was a painful past but thinking about it does not make me want to use... Being in a uncomfortable environment makes me want to use, around alot of people I dont know kinda thing. I felt using made me so much funnier, interesting and outgoing. Ha, if only I really knew how I looked to people.

JustAYak

I am doing well now. I don't know that I'd say that my past experiences made it harder to get sober necessarily. When you have painful experiences in the past that you've been numbing all these years by using, it does take a lot to overcome those without instantly reacting to the pain with a need to use. But even though there are those who have not had my experiences and may have come from a good background, there is still something they've been trying to numb with the drugs. I believe every addict has something they're running away from, so it doesn't really matter what an addict's past is, the bottom line is that there is pain, and it's hard to get clean and sober and stay that way when you have no coping skills to deal with that pain besides turning to drugs. If you truly want it, you will find a way to do it though. Perhaps your brother just doesn't want it bad enough yet. Remember that everybody's experience is unique to them, my "pain" may not seem painful to other people...so it's really all relative.

Rennips

I think my child hood has played a part in my substance abuse. I recently came out to my family about something that happened to me as a child. I still get embarrassed to bring it up thinking how could this happen to a little boy? I don't know if me coming to my family about what another member of my family did to me has helped or worsened me currently I thought I would get a huge boulder off of my chest by telling them but it just seems I put another huge one on there and now wonder what they think of me.

Lyoness

I definitely believe my past/childhood has led directly to my addiction. My understanding of addiction so far is that it is a disease but it gets "triggered" by environmental stressors and genetics play a role.

I experienced early abandonment and a lot of abuse in my childhood. My adoptive father was an alcoholic who was always under the influence in one way or another (drunk, hungover, etc.). And though I don't have all the info., it looks like my birthmother might have been an IV drug user which ended up killing her.

So I feel like for me it was never a matter of "IF" I got addicted to something but WHEN.

kthopkt

Thank you for all the replys. It is reasuring to know all of you have gotten sober even though you have pain from your past. All of these years I thought the reason my brother didn't want sobriety is because his painful past was just too much to handle, but the above stories make it clear that if he wants sobriety, his past isn't going to stop him.

I am very proud of all of you for changing your life...I think it is incredibly comendable.

re: Rennips: I think it is great that you told your family & I believe it shows that you are getting stronger as a person. I don't think anyone should have to carry a burden like that on their own. Even if your family seems weary of what you told them, I think you did the right thing. Best of luck to you; thank you for sharing.

bcboy

A report was filed yesterday on the development of a child's brain when neglected vs a child that was raised in a healthy loving environment.

A good read on the above topic.

Chilling Brain Scans Show the Impact of a Mother's Love on a Child's Brain Size : Science/Tech : Medical Daily

Kalimata

It is kinda interesting how varied our pasts can be, and yet we end up at the same place.

My childhood was great. Loving upper middle class parents, good home, supportive teachers, great opportunities, the whole gambit. I became an addict by rout of self medicating for mental illness.

Undisguised clinical depression, ADD related anxiety disorders, and the lack of coping mechanisms led to me abusing opiates. Getting high subdued the feelings of isolation, quelled the social anxiety, and when I was high I didn't care about my Fiancé leaving me.

So many ways to wind up here, now just have to follow the way out. I can believe that it is very difficult to understand the addict if you aren't one yourself, but thank you so very much for trying to. It's too easy for people to write us off.

healthylife87

My childhood was pretty good for the most part. My mom has always been a little cold/neglectful toward me but my dad was/is awesome. Both of my parents are daily drinkers. I am an only child and I know that contributed to me being shy and awkward growing up and I know one of the reasons I drank was to make me feel less shy and better about myself. I do think my past contributed to a certain degree, but nothing terrible or traumatic ever happened to me.