ThatGirl07

I started using percocet and roxys about a year and a half ago after a really bad car accident. Over time I got such a warm fuzzy feeling I was talking WAY more than I should have. 15mg at least 1 every waking hour and first thing in the morning when I woke up in agony 2-4 pills to feel normal. Its hell. My husband got sick a year ago with cancer at 31 years old. So his doctors were giving him everything from roxy 30's to 80mg oxycontin 4 times a day!!!!! He.couldn't possibly take it all so when I was out he told me just take a few of mine. Between our two scripts we never ran out but now after chemo my husbands getting better and I am tired of feeling so completely miserable without thw pills. The feelings I get when I take them are so powerful I decided to quit but today is day two and there's pain meds galore in my cabinet........ I need some strength to lay here and feel like I am dying over taking even one roxy!!!!

IvanKatz

My suggestion - give them to your husband with strict commands to no let you have any at all. Otherwise YOU WILL use! I seriously doubt you will be able to quit with available meds. I say this because I speak from first hand experience. I had to do the roller coaster of quit start for a LONG time. I'm not a street addict either. I'm seeing a pain mgm doc for some serious health issues.

Your addict brain is still controlling you riht now and it will for a very long time. You may hold the reins for now but believe me when I say that you will most likely fail unless you get some help right now. First thing I'd suggest is have your husband hold them/hide them. Second, Go to your doctor and be 100% with them bout your desire to quit. They WILL help you.

ThatGirl07

Thank you for replying so quickly!! I'm ready to quit emotionally I can't handle waking up every morning feeling like death dragging ass until the pills kick in. My husband knows I want to quit but he keeps telling me there no point right now until my orthopedic surgeon decides if I'm having surgery. I just want free of this hold the pills have on me. Everyone has praised me for handling my husband illness and near death with such ease while still keeping a clean house, children to every sport & activity ect. No one else realizes its the pills keeping me so upbeat and happy as well as optimistic when they told us my husband would probably be dead by now. I am really thankful the pills kept me going when I needed them but my kids are vacationing with Grandma this week so its now or never for me. I couldn't handle this feeling with my kids around. My Dr is useless. He swears I can't live without med right now and is very generous with the medications. Its time to find a Dr who fits my needs after I feel able to get off the couch and stop puking. I never even grieved or cried when my husband was in ICU almost dead. These pills are evil yet they helped me ao much when I needed them what a revelation.

IvanKatz

I would definitely seek a second opinion. I understand that there are doctors who get generous spiffs from the drug companies. I know this because my wife was a drug rep years ago. Oh the sleazy stories I have heard!
If you are going to have another surgery, it would be in your best interest to quit before hand. I know this first hand. A couple years ago I was taking meds daily. I went for my additional surgery and the doctors couldn't knock me out... So they used even more powerful meds to do it. Because of the massive knock out meds used, I had an extremely life threatening complication post op. I am not exaggerating when I say I came EXTREMELY close to death two night later. When I went to the ER, I was admitted and spent the next 8 days there... It was really bad.
So - If you're bound and determined to quit, I'd suggest seeing another doctor and be 100% with the Doc!

In my 40+ years on this earth, I have been through the ringer and spit out several times. The last few years have been the worse of them all. I can tell you that there is a chance you may fail... However, there is also the chance that you succeed!!!! Success is only granted to those who want it and work for it.
After all, doing the easy thing is, well - easy...

Dees

Hi ThatGirl - first off, congrats on deciding to go clean. Now sounds like the perfect time to do it.

In order to get clean, you need to have absolutely no access to the pills. Your addict brain will try to overpower you it will work you up in a frenzy - telling you that you absolutely need a pill or telling you that one won't hurt. Your addict brain will become more powerful than you could ever imagine.

Since your husband needs the pills, I recommend you get a safe. Have him store the pills in the safe and NOT TELL YOU THE COMBO TO THE SAFE. Don't think that just hiding the pills will work, because you will find them. Mark my words - you will find them. My pills are in a safe and I don't know the combination. If my husband had just hidden them, I would have torn the house apart in order to find them.

Good luck on going c/t. It's going to suck - but the end result will be well worth it! For the first week, you should only be concerned with yourself. Make no plans for other people. Make sure to drink lots of fluid so you don't dehydrate. Make sure to get plenty of rest. Immodium AD will help. Have lots of movies available to help get your mind off of the w/ds. And keep reading posts here and make sure to post often. This place was a godsend when I was going through my w/ds.

Take care,

Dees

NoWhereGirl

Totally agree with Dees. A safe is a good idea. I can relate- my husband needs pain meds for his back after a major car accident with multiple surgeries over the past few years. But I was the addict, not him (not that he hasn't struggled with it, just not the same degree thanks to a better understanding and stronger willpower than I ever had). Hiding them wasn't enough regardless what I said or promised. My brain did exactly what everyone says and I started lying, stealing and sneaking them out of habit, then just so I wouldn't get sick. Half the time it felt like I didn't even consciously know what I was doing, like sleepwalking. I realize now I did not have enough respect or understanding of the power of these drugs. I finally had enough of it though and hubby didn't want this for me or to see me go down that road anymore, and it certainly wasn't getting better as I lied and lied to myself and him, so here I am.

He trusted me the entire time but I finally realized I couldn't be trusted so I got professional help. I could not have done it alone so all the power in the world for if you can and be stronger than I was (especially going CT!) These things are no joke; just getting to the point where I wanted to stop was difficult, much less what came after that. Whatever path you choose, I wish you all the best and all the strength in the world. Just know that you can do it and we're here for you every step of the way. This place truly is a godsend and a wealth of information and support. SR is the main reason I've been clean a week straight now after a VERY difficult last few days that would have sent me back to where I was before only a week ago.

It does get better though, really truly it does. It's not easy but it can be done and you can too. Many of us here are living proof of it every day.

ThatGirl07

Thanks for the support guys it really means so much to me. I barely slept last night and I took a couple mini naps this afternoon. I'm at around hour 60ish. My stomach is KILLING me. Can't get over the stomach cramps and just lack of energy to even get up for a drink. Dear lord this is misery but I had three kids without any pain medication so I figure I've just got to get thru this and it'll end. That's what I told myself during labor and that's what I am reminding myself now. I have 78 pills of my own script left. I counted out all the meds when I was done and wrote the numbers on a slip of paper. I with my husband would be more supportive but he says what the hell are you putting yourself thru this when your just going to need medication after surgery but let me tell you I am petrified of having surgery and doing like Ivan said and being to immune to the med after surgery. I have serious disc issues and they will prob require surgery but the way I am going I doubt the drugs they give u would help. i need to be clean and sober before surgery and I need to be honest with my Dr afterward about needing serious monitoring and NO over prescribing after because right now I could call my Dr and tell him I lost my bottle and he would write me a refill no problem. He knows our family and what I have gone thru with my husbands cancer and he trusts me explicitly. If I tell him the med aren't working he was upping dosage and amount per day every month b/c he said with the disc problem/bone degeneration I have that I need them. But now I wonder if after the first few scripts if I needed them or wanted them. I am going to have to keep myself accountable b/c everyone here keeps enabling me. Don't take this the wrong way guys but please keep doubting me and holding me accountable. I had three kids NO med b/c everyone told me I could never handle it. Maybe my headstrong attitude will do me some good this time!!!

IvanKatz

TG,
In my experience, it takes 100 hours to get over the physical W/D part. It that holds true with you, you're 60% there! Kudos! Just be sure you get good nutrition and plenty of fluids. It's critical to your recovery.

ThatGirl07

Thanks Ivan!! Today is way worse than yesterday. The back ache is the most unbareable part. I'm not sure if its my avascular necrosis (bone degeneration), my disc issues, or the withdrawals. Its in the same spot that all my original pain was in so maybe its both. Who knows. I am still very determined. No need to feel like this again so no going back to the pills at this point. Wishing there was an easy answer but there is none. The mental misery is a new thing that set in today. Just this dread of the pain when I move but unable to stay still. My entire body is on fire. My husband finally took pity on me and went to buy me supplies... A back seat that massages and heats up, tummy medicine, advil and tylenol both of which do absolutely nothing. And other ideas on ways to help? I read the Thomas recipe it says try valium or xanax. I had a script for xanax when my husband almost died the Dr gave it to me to prevent panic ttacks but I never took any... Good idea or terrible idea?! I don't want to need it instead of the roxys. Just wondering if anything worked that I might not be trying? I tried to get a bit of exercise I love yoga and my gazelle but I just ended up puking repeatedly.

ThatGirl07

Seriously, any personal experience or tips on helping the withdrawals please help!! I will try any tips. PS hot showers help the pain but make me vomit.

IvanKatz

Hello Thatgirl,
I have quite a bit of experience with W/D. I would be glad to give you some tips.
1st things first. GO SEE YOU DOCTOR or A DOCTOR and be 100% honest with the doc about what you want to accomplish. A doctor and ONLY a doctor can prescribe some medications that will help ease your W/D pain. I won't even go into what he will prescibe because I'm NOT a doctor.
I've been off my meds (prescibed by a pain mgm doc) since the first of Jan. That's pretty good huh? It was hard but not really that bad. You know why? Cuuuuzzzzzzz, I went to my doctor and he prescibed some really good meds that helped ease my W/D. I got something for cramps and nausea, something for anxiety, and something for sleep.
I will tell you straight up that the VERY BEST MEDICINE for W/D is good solid knock you butt out sleep. You can get that from your doctor.
OK OK OK, enough about the doctor - My #1 piece of advice!

Eat lots of nutritious food. I always started my morning with eggs and a banana. It provided me with the protein I needed and phosphorus for my muscles.
Take a GOOD multivitamin! For the Lethargy, I recommend a B-12 and L-Tyrosine. The B complex is for energy and the L-Tyrosine is for mood. THe L-T will help your brain make Dopamine and serotonin.

Hot baths are good for relaxing your muscles.

Try to get in a nap or two.

FOr OTC stuff, I like to use Advil PM. Helps my back pain and sleep.

Drink LOTS of fluids!!!!!! You are likely dehydrated during the day.

IvanKatz

Oh yeah, the pain you're experiencing - that's normal. What's happening is your brain stopped making it's own pain killers... Any little ache or pain you have is going to be multiplied by 10X - Seriously...
That too will go away in a couple of days.