Opiate Abuse
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 87
Opiate Abuse
I've been abusing opiates for a number of months now...probably around 8 or 9. I started with percocets and worked my way up to dilaudid, fentanyl, and eventually heroin. I've also been taking suboxone recreationally and to get rid of withdraw symptoms, which at times have been horrible (stomach cramps, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, etc). I've done heroin twice, a few bags each time. I think I'm going to do it again pretty soon. My fiancee has been an addict for 10 years and he's been talking about getting it again within the next couple of weeks because he's going to be getting some extra money. I know ill do it with him if he gets it, which is pretty likely. I've been thinking about going to the doctor and just getting suboxone instead of all this other stuff. I use my fiancee's suboxone anyway. I don't know if they'd give it to me or not though.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Welcome to SR!! I agree with ((Dee)) - I'd go to a dr., be totally honest (they can't help you if they don't know what's going on). My dr. has been a Godsend. Though I got past the opiate phase I went through, years ago (got hooked on crack), he is soo supportive and when I have the rare flareups of really bad back pain, we have an agreement on how to treat it...something I talked to him about the first day.
If you find a dr. that is judgmental or not very knowledgeable about addiction, find another one. There are many out there who truly want to help.
If you're ready to get off the opiates, there is a lot of ES&H (experience, strength and hope) here.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
If you find a dr. that is judgmental or not very knowledgeable about addiction, find another one. There are many out there who truly want to help.
If you're ready to get off the opiates, there is a lot of ES&H (experience, strength and hope) here.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 409
Originally Posted by tooshytoscream 
NA is too religious for my liking. I'd rather just get the proper medication and be done with it.
I'm sorry....there is no proper medication or easy cure for addiction....and you are never done with it....but it is possible to abstain from active addiction.
Lots of us hoped for an easier softer way.....there isn't one. Searching for one may be a death sentence. Give yourself a chance....you really can't afford to be snobbish about what is and is not to your liking...that is your addict brain talking. Sorry to be so blunt...lots of hard won experience talking...and I am still struggling myself
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: somewhere, tx
Posts: 128
NA Being Religious??
Hi-
NA and AA are NOT religion-based. They are fellowships.
AA was formed back in the mid 1930's and even in their first edition in '39 the original Akron group stresses the "Higher Power" concept and they give you, the reader/alcoholic, the freedom to determine what your Higher Power is. The point they were making is that you come to understand that you are powerless over addiction.
You wrote that you just want to go to your doctor and "be done with it" . Addiction is pretty much a for-the-rest-of-your-days thing; the only way to keep it in remission is to stop using and stay stopped.
Please don't knock NA until you've gone to a few meetings, ya never know, my friend!
NA and AA are NOT religion-based. They are fellowships.
AA was formed back in the mid 1930's and even in their first edition in '39 the original Akron group stresses the "Higher Power" concept and they give you, the reader/alcoholic, the freedom to determine what your Higher Power is. The point they were making is that you come to understand that you are powerless over addiction.
You wrote that you just want to go to your doctor and "be done with it" . Addiction is pretty much a for-the-rest-of-your-days thing; the only way to keep it in remission is to stop using and stay stopped.
Please don't knock NA until you've gone to a few meetings, ya never know, my friend!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 87
My fiancee and I are both addicted and he has a book that NA gave him about the 12 steps. It talks about god. That's religious in my book. He quit because of that and I don't want to go because of it either, plus I have social anxiety and a keen hatred toward people. Group therapy is not my thing. So, sorry to be so blunt, but I can, and will be picky about what I know won't help me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
I know for me personally, I got desperate. I needed help and I asked other people who had gotten and stayed clean and sober and the people who had the most success were people who used a program. There are several different types of programs, I just found AA/NA most helpful for me. There are stickies on the tops of the forums that will talk about different types of programs.
True, some people posted here and remained clean and sober. I tried that and it didn't work for me.
Welcome, I am glad you are here.
True, some people posted here and remained clean and sober. I tried that and it didn't work for me.
Welcome, I am glad you are here.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 594
tsts - You seriously think your fiancee isn't going to NA because of God ??... think again...... it's almost certianly just another excuse to keep on using. There are as many "excuses" for not going, as there are addicts in this world.
If you're bent on doing it your way, then there isn't thing one any one can do for you.
I know a guy who decided to try heroin and (fast forward a bit) he hanged himself because of the missery of his addiction, his girlfriend grabbed a knife and cut him down
only to find him (later on) on top of a building wanting to jump off.
His wife was also very heavy into heroin addiction and living in a tent under a bridge, prostituting herself.
They both found God and now have their own house and have their kids back in thier life and are doing wonderfully (with years of clean time)
They are also VERY helpful to others in addiction.
The choice is yours, but i do hope you will pick up the phone or somehow reach out for help, and not the help that lasts a few days or a week or a month, because addiction is something that has to be taken very seriously or it will kill you.
Please, please .. accept recovery
we are all here to help you all we can
God bless you
If you're bent on doing it your way, then there isn't thing one any one can do for you.
I know a guy who decided to try heroin and (fast forward a bit) he hanged himself because of the missery of his addiction, his girlfriend grabbed a knife and cut him down
only to find him (later on) on top of a building wanting to jump off.
His wife was also very heavy into heroin addiction and living in a tent under a bridge, prostituting herself.
They both found God and now have their own house and have their kids back in thier life and are doing wonderfully (with years of clean time)
They are also VERY helpful to others in addiction.
The choice is yours, but i do hope you will pick up the phone or somehow reach out for help, and not the help that lasts a few days or a week or a month, because addiction is something that has to be taken very seriously or it will kill you.
Please, please .. accept recovery
we are all here to help you all we can
God bless you
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 87
I don't want to be rude, but I really don't want to hear anything about god from anybody. I'm agnostic, I don't believe in the christian god, end of story.
My fiancee quit NA for 2 reasons, the religious **** and the fact that he doesn't like group therapy just like me.
I'm not a heavy user to the point that it's ruining my entire life, but it's affecting me enough that I want to try suboxone treatment. I already do individual therapy for other mental health issues, and I'm not willing to do group. If other people found group therapy or religion helpful, good for them. But that's not me. I think it has the opposite effect on me actually. People talking about god this and jesus that make me WANT to do drugs.
My fiancee quit NA for 2 reasons, the religious **** and the fact that he doesn't like group therapy just like me.
I'm not a heavy user to the point that it's ruining my entire life, but it's affecting me enough that I want to try suboxone treatment. I already do individual therapy for other mental health issues, and I'm not willing to do group. If other people found group therapy or religion helpful, good for them. But that's not me. I think it has the opposite effect on me actually. People talking about god this and jesus that make me WANT to do drugs.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 7
I feel that you have the right to know some things. Every time you put heroin into your body, you are risking irreversible brain damage. The opiate depresses your respiration, and if your brain is left without oxygen for a certain amount of time, or less oxygen for long periods of time, cells in your brain will die. Either that or you can die.
No one else will suffer from the brain damage, just you. That’s it. You have control over your own actions, and you alone bear the consequences, what ever they may be. And just because you are not over dosing or ‘being smart about it’ does not mean you are not putting yourself at risk- the drug effects everyone differently. Some people are not as lucky as the couple dreamscape mentioned. I am not saying this to scare you, im saying this to make you realize you will bear the consequences of your decisions.
You know the saying, “its never too late to be what you might have once been”, when it comes to drugs, there is a point that will come when it is too late. Take what you can from the meetings, leave what you don’t like. Get a counselor; reach out- get a sponsor. They will teach you the tools needed to change the direction your life is headed right now, and how to use the tools in order to make sure it stays that way. All you have to do is have the will power and the acceptance. You have our support, but I think having love and support for yourself is the first step.
No one else will suffer from the brain damage, just you. That’s it. You have control over your own actions, and you alone bear the consequences, what ever they may be. And just because you are not over dosing or ‘being smart about it’ does not mean you are not putting yourself at risk- the drug effects everyone differently. Some people are not as lucky as the couple dreamscape mentioned. I am not saying this to scare you, im saying this to make you realize you will bear the consequences of your decisions.
You know the saying, “its never too late to be what you might have once been”, when it comes to drugs, there is a point that will come when it is too late. Take what you can from the meetings, leave what you don’t like. Get a counselor; reach out- get a sponsor. They will teach you the tools needed to change the direction your life is headed right now, and how to use the tools in order to make sure it stays that way. All you have to do is have the will power and the acceptance. You have our support, but I think having love and support for yourself is the first step.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Hi tooshy:
Hey, I was really disappointed when The Rapture didn't happen last month, because I figured that finally I would be surrounded by people who didn't drive me crazy. Ha!
Seriously, though. I am also not religious. I was required to go to NA at one time, and I just found a group that was filled with other non-religious types, and I did fine.
Having said that, I too avoid religious groups, and there are SOME na groups that are just that.
Like I said on another thread, respectfully folks, please -- there are some of us here who have to intention to "get Jesus". Ever. That's as far as I will go with sharing my religious beliefs, except to say I was raised Catholic and fled the church when I was 18.
There are lots of ways to get clean, as you will see on this forum. For me, I did CT off oxys, and that was tough. I looked into taking suboxone, but around here, the subox clinics are a HUGE money making venture for the local hospitals, and I didn't want to get wrapped up in their bureaucratic cr@p or contribute to their wealth. In addition, I did not want another monkey on my back linking me into the system. I was already sick and tired of being chained to the pain docs.
So, my personal take on addiction to opiates is if you want to stop taking opiates, THEN STOP TAKING OPIATES. Period.
FT
Hey, I was really disappointed when The Rapture didn't happen last month, because I figured that finally I would be surrounded by people who didn't drive me crazy. Ha!
Seriously, though. I am also not religious. I was required to go to NA at one time, and I just found a group that was filled with other non-religious types, and I did fine.
Having said that, I too avoid religious groups, and there are SOME na groups that are just that.
Like I said on another thread, respectfully folks, please -- there are some of us here who have to intention to "get Jesus". Ever. That's as far as I will go with sharing my religious beliefs, except to say I was raised Catholic and fled the church when I was 18.
There are lots of ways to get clean, as you will see on this forum. For me, I did CT off oxys, and that was tough. I looked into taking suboxone, but around here, the subox clinics are a HUGE money making venture for the local hospitals, and I didn't want to get wrapped up in their bureaucratic cr@p or contribute to their wealth. In addition, I did not want another monkey on my back linking me into the system. I was already sick and tired of being chained to the pain docs.
So, my personal take on addiction to opiates is if you want to stop taking opiates, THEN STOP TAKING OPIATES. Period.
FT
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
fromdallas:
Unfortunately, "scare talk" does not scare addicts. Period. Addicts knowingly risk death every day. Knowing there is a risk of brain damage doesn't matter to someone in withdrawal, who knows that doing their drug will stop it in its tracks. It is ONLY when the perceived BENEFITS of getting clean outweigh the NEGATIVES to the addict, will the person quit. Just because brain damage seems like a pretty big negative to you and me, doesn't mean the addict sees it that way.
Addicts are pretty smart people, and they are also often depressed, sick, broke, sometimes homeless. Brain damage seems pretty far down on the list of "reasons why I should quit".
I am no addiction expert, but what I do know is it is complex, and trying to "reason" with an addict deep into addiction is like trying to argue string theory with a cat. For those who think that is an insult, think again. The "addict brain" is not using logic, or no one would be addicted. Period.
FT
Unfortunately, "scare talk" does not scare addicts. Period. Addicts knowingly risk death every day. Knowing there is a risk of brain damage doesn't matter to someone in withdrawal, who knows that doing their drug will stop it in its tracks. It is ONLY when the perceived BENEFITS of getting clean outweigh the NEGATIVES to the addict, will the person quit. Just because brain damage seems like a pretty big negative to you and me, doesn't mean the addict sees it that way.
Addicts are pretty smart people, and they are also often depressed, sick, broke, sometimes homeless. Brain damage seems pretty far down on the list of "reasons why I should quit".
I am no addiction expert, but what I do know is it is complex, and trying to "reason" with an addict deep into addiction is like trying to argue string theory with a cat. For those who think that is an insult, think again. The "addict brain" is not using logic, or no one would be addicted. Period.
FT
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 87
What I don't understand is why people think that when you talk about how a drug felt, you're supposedly "glorifying" it. That's the response I basically got from people on another forum when talking about heroin. I admitted that it was bad like 10 times and was merely describing my experience and why I did it, etc. Is that really so bad? It's not like I'm sitting there saying "Yo guys, it felt great, you should all do it!"
All talking about it did was make me want drugs even more. F*** it.
It wasn't this forum, so I don't blame anyone here, just argh, that pissed me off quite a bit. Thanks to those of you who tried to help. And failedtaper, you're right that brain damage isn't really something we give a damn about. Especially if we're suicidal to boot, or self-harm.
All talking about it did was make me want drugs even more. F*** it.
It wasn't this forum, so I don't blame anyone here, just argh, that pissed me off quite a bit. Thanks to those of you who tried to help. And failedtaper, you're right that brain damage isn't really something we give a damn about. Especially if we're suicidal to boot, or self-harm.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 594
Take Me in Your Arms
(Miss Heroin)
So now, little man, you've grown tired of grass
LSD, goofballs, cocaine and hash,
and someone, pretending to be a true friend,
said, "I'll introduce you to Miss Heroin."
Well honey, before you start fooling with me,
just let me inform you of how it will be.
For I will seduce you and make you my slave,
I've sent men much stronger than you to their graves.
You think you could never become a disgrace,
and end up addicted to Poppy seed waste.
So you'll start inhaling me one afternoon,
you'll take me into your arms very soon.
And once I've entered deep down in your veins,
The craving will nearly drive you insane.
You'll swindle your mother and just for a buck.
You'll turn into something vile and corrupt.
You'll mug and you'll steal for my narcotic charm,
and feel contentment when I'm in your arms.
The day, when you realize the monster you've grown,
you'll solemnly swear to leave me alone.
If you think you've got that mystical knack,
then sweetie, just try getting me off your back.
The vomit, the cramps, your gut tied in knots.
The jangling nerves screaming for one more shot.
The hot chills and cold sweats, withdrawal pains,
can only be saved by my little white grains.
There's no other way, and there's no need to look,
for deep down inside you know you are hooked.
You'll desperately run to the pushers and then,
you'll welcome me back to your arms once again.
And you will return just as I foretold!
I know that you'll give me your body and soul.
You'll give up your morals, your conscience, your heart.
And you will be mine until, "Death Do Us Part"
Read the above poem, and know what your getting into.
(Miss Heroin)
So now, little man, you've grown tired of grass
LSD, goofballs, cocaine and hash,
and someone, pretending to be a true friend,
said, "I'll introduce you to Miss Heroin."
Well honey, before you start fooling with me,
just let me inform you of how it will be.
For I will seduce you and make you my slave,
I've sent men much stronger than you to their graves.
You think you could never become a disgrace,
and end up addicted to Poppy seed waste.
So you'll start inhaling me one afternoon,
you'll take me into your arms very soon.
And once I've entered deep down in your veins,
The craving will nearly drive you insane.
You'll swindle your mother and just for a buck.
You'll turn into something vile and corrupt.
You'll mug and you'll steal for my narcotic charm,
and feel contentment when I'm in your arms.
The day, when you realize the monster you've grown,
you'll solemnly swear to leave me alone.
If you think you've got that mystical knack,
then sweetie, just try getting me off your back.
The vomit, the cramps, your gut tied in knots.
The jangling nerves screaming for one more shot.
The hot chills and cold sweats, withdrawal pains,
can only be saved by my little white grains.
There's no other way, and there's no need to look,
for deep down inside you know you are hooked.
You'll desperately run to the pushers and then,
you'll welcome me back to your arms once again.
And you will return just as I foretold!
I know that you'll give me your body and soul.
You'll give up your morals, your conscience, your heart.
And you will be mine until, "Death Do Us Part"
Read the above poem, and know what your getting into.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Ever tried SMART Recovery tooshy?
It's one of the many other types of programmes out there that don't speak about Higher Powers, if that's a dealbreaker for you.
There's a million other choices in our Recovery links at the top of the forum too.
I think for many of us, just because we stop taking a particular drug, it doesn't mean we stop being addicts. I myself have been addicted to several things.
A recovery programme can really help us work out why we have this addictive tendency and teach us how to deal with it.
D
It's one of the many other types of programmes out there that don't speak about Higher Powers, if that's a dealbreaker for you.
There's a million other choices in our Recovery links at the top of the forum too.
I think for many of us, just because we stop taking a particular drug, it doesn't mean we stop being addicts. I myself have been addicted to several things.
A recovery programme can really help us work out why we have this addictive tendency and teach us how to deal with it.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 87
Thanks Dee74,
I signed up to their message boards, and going to check out some other links as well. Unfortunately I can't use the chat though because I'm on my phone that doesn't support flash. We don't have internet around here so my phone is all I have.
I've been taking suboxone to control the cravings, it's helping a little bit, but the desire is still there. I dreamt about having percocets last night, I suppose that's not such a good thing.
I signed up to their message boards, and going to check out some other links as well. Unfortunately I can't use the chat though because I'm on my phone that doesn't support flash. We don't have internet around here so my phone is all I have.
I've been taking suboxone to control the cravings, it's helping a little bit, but the desire is still there. I dreamt about having percocets last night, I suppose that's not such a good thing.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
