guilty

[samo]

hi every one i am not samo butu samos husband . i am the one responsible for making her who she is today and i feel horrible for turning her on to dope . i am a complete horse butt for doing it i know it . although i use i have never met a kinder or gentler woman . she says if it wasnt me who turned her then it would have been some one else . she says that any one else would not have cared for her the way i do im the one who checks her bags to insure its quality aand it authinticity i maake sure she doesnt OD i make sure she dosnt do too much . she has never done it alone . i know how horrible it is out there because before we met i had only been off the streets for a year . i have seen the animals in action . so heres my problem . In narcotics anonymous they say we should make the meeting s but not to enter into any relationships . does this mean we have to get a divorce ?????????i love this woman and she love me i know it . our relationships is great and can only get better . im afraid that if i leave her shell go off and get it herself wich she has never done . she knows how dangerous it is ven going after it . i feel i should protect her . wich she says any other junky wouldt do . i feel lost confused and totally responsible for destroying her life . i am so sorry . what can i do ? please help i dont want to lose her , wich i dont think i will but i am losing this sobriety fight .

[InsAne CloWn]

I think the best would be for you both to attend separate meetings, work hard and get yourselves each a sponsor. Why and how one starts using is not the problem it making back to sobriety. Don’t kick yourself for turning her out just make sure you support her now. InsaNe CloWn

[Juls]

Samo's husband,

You need to create your own username in order to post here. Posting under your wife's username is not a good idea.

Juls

[joe-jo tweeked]

Samo's husband,
I guess we are in the same boat a little bit, but i'm not married
to the person that i like very much. please check my threads and
post out my username is joe-jo tweeked and no you don't have to split up!just like the others said you do your own meetings
maybe try a all men's metting so there is'nt any distractions of any
kind.you work your program and let her work her program she
should try a all woman's group. Best of luck to the both of you's
you'll both get through it just fine.let your minds follow the program to the best of your abilty.
your buddy joe-jo tweeked

[margo]

Hi Samo's husband - to answer your question, the relationship issue that you have heard about applies to not getting into a new relationship in early recovery. It does not mean that you have to breakup with someone that you are already in a committed relationship with. The meetings I go to have lots of couples who came into recovery together and the two of you can attend meetings together or separately. As has been suggested above, there are specific men's and women's meetings that both of you may also find helpful.

As Juls said, please take a minute to register under your own name to save confusion and so that you can post about your own issues and get some support for yourself. I understand that you're feeling a lot of guilt right now about your past actions. We all do things in our addiction that we regret, but the most important thing is what you do today.

Good luck to you both, and keep coming back!

[Stephanie]

Hi Samo's husband,

Thank you margo and Juls for clarifying the posting issue. I also wanted to add that no one can make us use drugs. I'm sure you didn't force it on her. I had a boyfriend who introduced me to cocaine which led me to my drug of choice, meth. I'm pretty sure I would have found it another way, if not from him. I was headed down the wrong path anyway. Some of us a pre-disposed to addictiion. Whoever introduced her to it would have started the ball rolling. No one else is responsible for anyone elses using.

You may also want to take a look over at the Naranon boards as well. That program is for family anfd friends of drug users.