Haveing a relationship while in recovery?

[joe-jo tweeked]

Hi I'm joe-jo tweeked'
I've been in recovery now for 13 months,@ 10 months I relapsed for 1 day on a differnt drug of my current d.o.c. witch is Crystal Meth since that time or the following day after I placed myself back in treatment and have been in the program now very more inteensely for over 90 days now.I'm working my program better to my ability I'm more involved I do lots of service work.
And 12th steping & speaking @ treatment centers.
In this jounery I have met a wonderful woman. @ 1st. we hit it off extremly well and was getting very close very fast! then I belived
Iscared her off because her sponcer asked me to back off , because she was getting afraid we where going too fast. In the
meanwhile she had told me that she had a boyfriend & a soon to be exhusband.She also tried to break it off with me. but I wouldn't
let her get away that easy.I told her we could be friends still .Soon after her sponcer asked mr to do that like a week or so
later she called me asking why I stoped calling her.I replied to her saying that your sponcer asked me to stay away from you because I was a distraction to your program! I'm still very much in
like with her and I belive she is to.Because she had spent the night @ my house last night.But nothing happened cause I didn't want it too.please give me some feed back! Thank you..
Extweeker Joe-Jo

[phoenix]

**WORKING WITH LOCAL BANDS,HEAVY EQUIPMENT OPERATIONS,12TH STEPING,&13TH STEPING,DANCING,&HELPING OTHERS ACHIVE SOBRIETY **

Well...you list 13th stepping as one of your interests.Most people aren't that up front about predatory behavior.Not really sure what to say beyond that.

phoenix

[Chy]

As she said.. at least your up front.. the poll had me wondering why your trying so hard... hand it over to you HP.. more will be revealed.

[Moontime]

I was in a relationship earlier in recovery and it took me right out of the rooms. Eventually I relapsed. If you haven't worked a 4th step, do you really know who your bringing into a relationship with someone? I sure didn't. Unless you have a year clean and have the support you need in case the relationship didnt work, I would highly advise putting your recovery first before anything, including relationships.

[phoenix]

At this point you are also in early recovery.What you are doing isn't exactly 13th stepping.But it can still have negative effects for both sides.The caution against getting into a relationship within the first year clean came out of hard experience.The focus of meetings should be recovery.

I have been to meetings where I felt like I was surrounded by wolves.It was uncomfortable enough for me with several years of clean time.It could have been much worse for a woman new to the program.No one,male or female should feel like they are being hit on at a meeting.It's suggested that men work with men and women with women.This eliminates many complications.

We come in because we are sick of what the using life made of us.We want to change,but we need to learn new coping skills.This is especially true when it comes to relations with the opposite sex.For your own well being and that of the newcomer,please don't use the meetings as a hunting ground.

Focus on your own recovery,and when the time is right you will have a better chance of building a good relationship.

phoenix