The papers were signed today.

[Lizrox]

My post-nuptial agreement was signed today. I am upset but will get over it. Thank you for all the replies and advice. At the end I just realized if I didn't sign I would hardly be able to see my soon to be 6 year old. I wouldn't get much with a divorce either. What would hurt the most would be losing my daughter.

The courts do favor the custodial parent. When it comes to a divorce; they really don't care about the adults involved in the case; it is really "what is in the best interest of the child" This hurts to admit but the best interest of my little girl right now is with her dad. I have scr#@d up so many times; maybe I should feel lucky my husband is giving me this last chance to get my act together.

If we went to court/mediation-

1. Hubby will get primary custody of my daughter, I would see her only a few times a year
2. I may get health insurance--but I would be living in NY with my parents and my husband's plan doesn't cover out of state benefits
3. I know I wouldn't get much, if any alimony

My husband is a CPA and makes decent money but the bills do add up; I don't work and our house is "under water."

I did talk to my dad ( a lawyer) and I do plan to see a lawyer in a few months; just to ask some questions. Questions like- Can the papers be annulled, "changed", how hard is it to prove duress? That kind of stuff. I did sign the papers only a month after being "baker acted." I also signed only 4 months after my sister died.

There is a clause in there that does say if I saw my husband making "wrong decisions" I can go back to court. I need to find a lawyer to represent ME now.

If the marriage fails, I will just have to claim "duress". The lawyer I saw said duress is hard to prove and also expensive. He said no one was putting a gun to my head to sign the papers; but I WAS just out of detox (being baker acted). He did say those factors would hold up in court.

I do love my husband; and I also feel if he really loved me he want to provide more if we divoced but it was a no go. Also if the papers weren't signed; he would have divorced me. There was really no winning here really.

At the end I did it for my daughter and myself. At least my husband is providing me with a home where I can focus on recovery; and the chance to see my daughter every day.

It was such a hard decision; I hope some people understand WHY I did sign. It was sort of a contraversial (sp) topic. At the end I just couldn't find myself living without my little girl.

What's done is done.. You can't change the past; only the future.

[dreamscape]

Liz i can say with all honesty that there wasn't enough dope/booze on earth to "fix me" or my situation.
I've been on every pill known to mankind (almost) and nothing worked.

I have followed your struggle for a long long time (under a differant name) and felt your pain, because i too have been on that hamster wheel that goes no where.

You have a fresh start now. Take this time to get to a meeting AA or NA. Perhaps do what I did.......................just pick up the phone and call the hot line and talk to someone as a start.

You and me and all other addicts/alcoholics drink and use because of inner tumoil.
Stuff we can't accept. Because we can't or won't accept life on lifes terms, we end up with a battle in our minds.

If we refuse to treat the hurt then the battle will never end................. and I mean NEVER.

So what are the choices?

We can spiral down into the gutter, or we can say enough is enough!
I deserve better!
I deserve to have peace and happiness!

Please take a little leap of faith and go to a meeting and start your new life, Liz.
You can't do this alone..

[Lizrox]

You are so right. There isn't enough adderall in the world to fix my problems. I do pop pills because of the "inner turnmoil" That turmoil won't go away until I treat the underlying cause. If I don't get help soon I will be back on the phone making an appointment with that "drug dealer doctor" I guess I can ask the therapist I see next week about N/A mettings. I am SOOOOOO close to losing everything; but yet I still just think about pills. I hate this disease. I also hate it because it took my sister. Someone who I would love to be able to talk to right now..

[opivotal]

Lizrox,

I agree with dreamscape. You've made your decision. Now re-claim your life. It can be done. Just look at all the success stories here. Be one of them and the contract you signed will never come into play. Stop thinking of how you can get out of it and get yourself well. Take control of your life, your dignity, your self respect. Put as much effort into getting well as you have in your addiction. Don't let anyone else make you live life on their terms.

Take it one day at a time. Get rid of the demons living inside you. Get help!

God Bless

[Lizrox]

I do agree with both of you. I am focusing much to much about the papers being annulled and am not focusing on getting myself well.