perc

Okay so last night I slept okay I guess but I literally dreamed the entire night about getting a bunch of pills. I woke up thinking about it, and throughout the day the craziest little things make me want it so bad that I can't stand it! Am I crazy, is this normal? I would really like some feed back on how yall keep this off your mind. I feel like the scum of the earth just thinking about it all the time. Please help!

hello-kitty

Hi Perc. What you are going through seems normal to me. I used to have using dreams all the time when I first got clean. Man, they were disturbing.

Try not to let it get to you. It's just a dream. It's your addicting f---ng with your head. The more time you have between you and the stuff, the fewer dreams you have and the less they will bother you.

It's just your brain trying to work through some stuff. It's ok. You'll be fine. Just don't use - no matter what.

Marshgirl

I am new to sobriety, 92days, and occasionally I still have wacko dreams of pills. It does get better and they get fewer and farther between. They were so real I had trouble discerning reality when I first got up.

I recommend keeping a journal of what you are going through now. Friends in NA recommended doing that, so if I started considering using that I would have vivid reminders of how awful coming off was. I wrote about my horrible sleep, vomiting, potty issues and temperature control. I hated going from freezing cold to sweating/burning up in 5 minutes. I would be soaked from the sweat and get shivers. To top it off, my joints and back ached. Thinking about that helps me some days when I have triggers.

Congratulations on being sober today.

Timebuster

Scum of the earth….naaaaaaa.

You’re just an addict craving, especially that you’re in the early stages of recovery. What did I do in early recovery, I didn’t pick up no matter what and I surrounded myself with other recovering addicts.

Using dreams are normal at this stage, I had them, they were horrible. But the more time I put on recovering the less and less I had them. Right now you’re grieving, no more crutch, no more living on drugs terms. Now you have to live on life’s terms and it’s a bitch isn’t it? The good news you don’t have to pickup ever again.

Like many addicts, I had fought to maintain my habit and struggled to hold on to some semblance of normalcy. At some point, I looked at myself and could not believe what I had become. I was no longer a complete person rather only an empty shell of my former self. I was heartsick and ashamed and I looked for a better way. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Recovery is possible only when we work at it. It starts with the willingness to let go of old ideas. Open-mindedness to accept new ideas.

While our using experiences differ, our common denominator is that the process of recovery is the same for all of us. This is all the more remarkable because our drugs of choice are different, our backgrounds are different, but recovery remains the same. Surrendering to the truth, no matter how painful, is the basic building block of our recovery.

Living clean was a whole new concept to me. It took time, effort and a sincere desire. And no matter what I didn’t pickup.

Peace and love,
Ivan