too much trouble at home

[jane_668]

Hello everyone, I guess all bad stuff come together. when problems pile up at home what do you do ? Just run away. How do you deal with a dysfunctional family when you are newly clean ( 107 days).? How can you stay sane in a insane home?

[CrackQuack]

In a way, I do run. I go to the library or my friend's house, or my boyfriend's house, if things get to be too much for me. I always come back, and sometimes, I do stay home. I just go outside and wash cars or do some yardwork. Or work on the car. I just find something to do while dysfunction is happening. It really depends on the level of dysfunction going on. I don't know what you have to deal with. If people are hitting each other or throwing more than words, definitely get out of there, and think about calling the police.
We have to do what we need to in order to get and stay clean. If this includes going somewhere to cool off, go somewhere. If you are a minor, just make sure you've told an adult where you're going and how long you'd be.

[change4penny]

Jane, I know exactly what you mean....when I got home from rehab 15 months ago, the only thing that had changed in my home was 'me'...everything and everybody else remained the same. 15 months later, that's still the case in my home.
Don't let it rattle you....Just do 'you' and don't sweat the rest.
Take care.

[Impurrfect]

(((Jane))) - I spent a lot of time on the friends and family forums. Though your family may not be addicts (my dad is not, stepmom is, and 16-year-old niece just ACTS like one with her teenage-behavior), all of them had issues that I could still learn a lot from the forums (I hung around the substance abuse one).

I'm a codie (codependent) - I tend to want to make everything better. I had to learn how to set boundaries, step back and stay out of issues that had nothing to do with me, all the while protecting my recovery for dear life.

It has been pretty rough, at times, but from what I've learned here, and the changes I've made in MY actions, my family, as a whole, has made some pretty big changes. We still have our issues, but I can honestly say, things are a lot better than they used to be..it took a while though, and it took me staying in my room and physically detaching quite a bit. I am very grateful for the support i got here, as well as a few friends/family I have outside of my house.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

[Sugah]

I've been pretty fortunate in that, for most of my sobriety, I've lived with another person in recovery, and before that, it was just me and my kids. That doesn't mean there haven't been challenges -- my husband and I have been through our recovery "growing pains," thankfully not always at the same time (meaning, one of us has often been saner than the other) and we've dealt with four teenagers simultaneously. But, if I dealt in expectations, it's been easier than I would have expected.

When things get nuts, as they will, meetings become a place to seek refuge for an hour, to recharge, to be reassured and to return to the storm -- which does pass, if we can keep our heads. Then, whatever the situation, it becomes one more thing we know we can get through sober.

So, Jane, if you've made it through this season without picking up, you know you can do it. Are you making your meetings and talking with others in recovery? Are you praying for strength and patience?

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[jane_668]

Thank you all.Things turned out to the best and I ended up spending the most precious time with my 2 young brothers. We were all laughing after months of fights and arguments. It was the best Christmas gift I can ever get...Soo happy? Gosh Im speechless. God listened to me yesterday when I asked him to help me.