Anyone Ever done?

[debmkay]

I am the mom of a drug addict who is incarcerated at the moment for again drug use through other means, theft, forgery, fraud, she had been thru rehab once and was clean for 3 years and got married,had a beautiful son which is 2 years old and relapsed thus incarcerated. Does anyone ever get clean and stay there and what did it take to get to that point? I am so afraid my daughter will not get to see her baby grow up He stays with us ( grandma, grandpa) three or four days a week and with the father the rest of the time, which also attended the same rehab for alcohol abuse at the time, he has already relapsed before my daughter but has been clean since. He is no golden child believe me. I just would like some positive thoughts or advice for some similar incidences.

[Dee74]

Hi debmkay

Welcome to SR

Well I got clean and stayed there - but not until I accepted I needed to change my life - until I 'got' that myself, nothing anyone could say could reach me.

I regret now the sorrow I put my loved ones through. I hope your daughter reaches her 'aha' moment soon.

You may find some people in similar situations in our Family and Friends forums

Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information


D

[NoelleR]

Hey debmkay ----

I'm sorry for the situation you find yourself in; at least the babe has one parent (hopefully) there for him (clean/sober), and great grandparents.

I wish I could tell you that all will get better with your daughter, but nobody can say that; nor can anyone say that she'll never get better (although it will probably get worse before it gets better). I can, however, offer a wee bit of help from out here, in RecoveryLand.

Back in the day, I finally realized I was allergic to alcohol/drugs; every time I picked up (alcohol and/or drugs), I broke out in handcuffs (and lemme tell ya, TX jails are NOT nice....really REALLY not nice). I finally gottit; I had to quit............for good 'n all.

....and since my first AA meeting [there were only two NA groups in Houston then, and only a hand full of meetings per week (about 15)....way far away from where I lived, w/o any personal transportation---further than the drug-houses]. I made the decision that I was FINISHED, for good and all!!! No matter what, I would not pick up ever again....There I was at 39 making a promise to myself that I would never pick up again.............Well, here I am at 62 (63 in two weeks), and I'm still clean/sober; happy, joyous, and free, clean and serene (23 years).

This is not to say it was easy.....lots of work; lots of introspection (after all, it was Socrates who said, "The unexamined life is not worth living."); lots of changes (especially with changing my mind).....; just lots 'n lots. But it's all worth it. Right now my life couldn't be better (well, that's silly, of course it could); in fact this year was better than last year, and next year.....? It's gonna be the best one yet.

Sooooo, I guess I just wanted to tell you that there are recovered folks out here, and I hope you daughter finds her way to some of us.....but you stay strong; heck, even check out some books on alcoholism/addiction (getting good info regarding your daughter's condition would be a good thing) and on Al Anon and Codependency (getting info regarding you couldn't hurt either)..........recovery in general.....some positive 'self-help' books couldn't hurt, either.....you know, like Joel Osteen (Your Best Life Now, Become A Better You, and/or It's Your Time).

Everything works out the was it's supposed to (perhaps not the way you may want it, but the way it's supposed to be, no matter); you just you keep working on you, and wait 'n see. (o:


NoelleR

[tyler]

There are lots of people who finally decide "they are done" and stop the madness. I've only got about 8 months clean right now, but that is the most I've had in 20 years. I too did a couple of rehab stints, to no avail, because I wan't "done". I can't really tell you what is different this time other than I really feel like this is what I want and need to do. That said, as an addict, I really don't feel like I'm cured, there's nothing stopping me from going back out other than me. Somehow she has to find it in her. I hope she does before she loses too much time with her child. I lost 6 of the last nine years with mine, because I wasn't "done" Truly a shame. Take care.