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worst scenario and how to handle it?

Old 11-14-2009, 10:25 PM
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worst scenario and how to handle it?

Saturday was tough. I woke up calm and happy and it was a gorgeous day. I've got almost 14 months clean. I came very close today to finding something anything that would calm me down.

I was involved in a highway accident completely stopped on an offramp of an interstate and someone was rubbernecking a wreck up on the interstate and plowed into the back of our car. My daughter had a bad headache and I had all sorts of bad scenarios running thru my head----- I was worried about her and I was shaking all over. My child is okay, I'm watching for any delayed problems that might crop up due to a possible head injury but so far everything is fine. My nerves though are frazzled. I really really wanted to put something in me that made me calm and I did not care at the time what it was be it a drink or a drug. Fortunately the consequences of all that would not be worth it but I know in my heart if the situation had been more dire I would have and not cared either about any consequences. I imagine too how I would react in my non addict days and I would have had a glass of wine. If I had been in NYC during 911 I know I would have hit a bar that day no question about it.
So how does an addict stay clean when the really really bad things happen? I was very blessed today everyone made it home alive but it was simply by God's grace. And I did not use or drink but only by a hair.
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Old 11-14-2009, 10:52 PM
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Hey hon. Congrats again on your 14 months.

The other night, I went through a really bad experience. Really kind of brought me to the edge. I had a very hard time staying the course that night. But, with the help of people here, I made it through that night.

It's a challenge when life throws us a curveball. Focus on the fact that you need to stay clean of drink and drug to keep a good (nurses) eye on your daughter. You know what to watch for as far as head trauma goes. If you were under the influence, do you think that you would recognize those symptoms as quickly? Probably not.

I look at these things as little tests that come up during our recovery. We think we have it under control and then something comes along to remind us that we really are not entirely in control. This challenges us...makes us have to reach to the next goal in our recovery process...the ability to handle stress and change. And it's HARD! (insert whiney voice here!)

You aced today's challenge with flying colors. Sure, you were hanging on by a thread...but ultimately, you didn't use. That's AMAZING! You were through a very serious car accident...and you both managed to walk away unscathed. Thank GOD! And, just as God led you from this disaster, he also led you away from temptation.

In other words, love...you done good! Real good!

You should be very proud of yourself. I'm proud of you for hanging in there and being the best possible person and mom you can be!
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Old 11-14-2009, 10:57 PM
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I think Cherys right Meditation - both you and your daughter seem ok, you're clean and sober, and you're able to keep a watchful eye over your daughter.

That's a gift, m.

and you did just fine.
That's how those normal folk do it

D
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Old 11-14-2009, 11:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
That's how those normal folk do it

D

:rotfxko

Amen!
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Old 11-15-2009, 06:07 AM
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Hi, I'm a recovering opiate/cocaine addict, 13 months clean. I'm so glad that you and your daughter are o.k.
Life, in these past 13 months, has placed me in several stressful situations. Right now, my husband is on lay off from his job. He hasn't worked in two months. I have been trying to get a job, to no avail.
During my active addiction, had these situations arose, I would have dealt with them...by not dealing with them and running....running to that pill bottle, that little baggie, and the pipe. I was always running away.
Here lately, my 'old self' seeps in sometimes when things are going wrong, and 'using' pops into my mind...just wanting to escape the problems at home.
But then I quickly realize that these problems would be soooo much worse if I sprinkled them with drugs.
Honestly, I'm so much happier, even though things are tough right now, that I was while using. My worse day now is still better than my best day using.
I'm so grateful for this 'new life'.
There are always gonna be tough, stressful times in life...Just remember, USING IS NOT AN OPTION.

Hang in there, and God bless.

Penny
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Old 11-15-2009, 08:43 AM
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Cherry-
You are an inspiration because you are doing this hard process too. I appreciate your words of uplift. I am not so sure I would have made it if things had turned out worse.Maybe you are right and this is a test. And it did help me put what is important in my life to the front.

Dee- I suppose everyone I know uses something to calm them down. My family of origin believes in self pharmacy. This is probably why I thought it was normal. Thanks for reminding me what normal people do.

Penny- You have almost 14 months girl! You are ahead of me on this path. And you are doing this without all the pee tests and the hoops facing me which in my mind makes what you do much much harder to stay clean. You can't relapse ever see because you've got this fan base rooting for you.

I love you all and I thank you guys greatly. Today I feel the effects of this wreck, I ache everywhere. Baby is still fine, I just checked her.
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Old 11-15-2009, 09:14 AM
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Ugh...I hate to sound like one of the those cheesy hallmark cards...but I really do believe that God never gives us more than we can handle. He sees our strengths better than we do. We tend to put our weaknesses under the magnifying glass without paying much attention to how strong we can potentially be.

You have it within you to take this by the ba...er, throat (heh) and keep it at a far distance from the life you have today. You are making amazing strides. The bough will bend from time to time. It is up to us to make sure it doesn't break. You are STRONG and a wonderful role model to your daughter. Thank God you have her as inspiration. That's how I look at my children...as inspiration to do the right things. Sure, I want to do this for me, but I want my children to have the best possible mom they can have. They deserve that much and I am determined to give it to them...same as you.

Motrin and ice, kiddo. Tomorrow, a heating pad and hot baths. You know the drill. And, a tube of Ben Gay never hurt either.

Love ya, doll!
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