Hello Again

[scotts]

I was here a year ago, Wding from some opiate BS. To make a long story short, stayed clean for a few months, then started using again, then it went to using Oxy 80's 3X daily for 6 months. Two weeks ago I quit cold turkey. I had severe withdraw for 24 hours, then just irratability and insomnia that are still present. 14 days into sobriety I am thinking more clearly, working out on a regular schedule, and eating very clean for the first time in years. I am STILL going crazy with anxiety and RLS and sleepless nights which makes me a dick most mornings.

How long does this blah, anxiety, sleeplessness last? I do have cravings from time to time. I have denenerative disc disease, but woudl rather live with the pain that take pills after the dumb addict behavior that the medicine causes in myself.

During my previous detox I was good after the first week or so. Why is this crap lingering?

Thanks for your help all.

[ElegantlyWasted]

Not sure about opiates, but took
me about a month to really start feeling good physically. And emotionally.
Hope this helps. Making an effort to be nice and meditatio also helped.

[NAchic]

Congrats Scott on 2 weeks!! I detoxed from oxy recently and it took about 2 weeks to feel better. I am not 100% yet but much better. You will feel better, just give it time. Keep coming back and posting, let us know how your doing!

[christin1225]

Originally Posted by scotts

I was here a year ago, Wding from some opiate BS. To make a long story short, stayed clean for a few months, then started using again, then it went to using Oxy 80's 3X daily for 6 months.
During my previous detox I was good after the first week or so. Why is this crap lingering?

I don't recall if I know what you detoxed off last time. I'll say that I think that, although an opiate is an opiate, they work on our brains a bit differently. If you detoxed off hydros last year and, as you said, got into oxys this year, oxy is not just stronger than hydro, their chemical make-up is not exactly the same. I believe that they affect the brain differently (though they work on the receptors in the same manner), which could be expected to alter your detox experience. Although I have not had that confirmed by my doctor, I feel the truth of it.

I'm glad that you ventured back to SR. I found that the mental detox off oxy can continue far beyond the physical. back and congratulations on choosing life again.

[scotts]

Yea, its a challenge. Working out helps tremendously. 15 days.

Thanks to all who responded.

[Lily]

Congrats Scott! You will feel better and better. My last long detox was probably 9 days or so, but I was using less than you. Things will get better, keep eating clean and working out and keep posting!

[Wolfchild]

Welcome back.

[scotts]

This Wed will be 21 days. Still feel like I am in a dark cloud. I have strep throat so perhaps that has something to do with it.

[Celestiale]

I totally feel for you! I'm on day 12, but the last time I tried to stop I felt better after a week. I'm still having the pain and anxiety too, as well as sleep loss. From everything I've read on here, it seems that each subsequent detox is longer and harder than the previous one. Hang in there and I will too! *hugs*

[scotts]

Day 21 is almost gone. Getting over a 3 day flu as well. Feeling upbeat today though. I think things may be getting better from here forward.

Cel- Hang in there. How are you doing?

[kj3880]

I think the sleepless nights is the most lingering symptom, but it gradually fades away, and one morning you'll awake amazed at how good you feel! Congrats on your decision to get and stay clean, best one you'll ever make! What are you doing to support that? Are you a 12-stepper, like me, or some other type of method? Do you have anyone in your life you can talk to about the emotional stuff that comes up in early recovery?

Love,
KJ

[scotts]

KJ, talking to my wife about things, emotions, etc... NO NA or 12 step for me, YET.

I do find myself hating drugs now. I have never been in this mental state before. I have always considered hard drugs to be "bad" but thoough "Hey if you can do them and not hurt anyone thats okay"- That frame of mind is gone.

I am fortunate to have escaped the habit before it cost me anything (other than self respect and dignity). I pray that I stay this way. I have SO much going for me: 2 kids, a wife, and a great business.

One thing that scares me is that I never hit a "bottom"per say, like so many others claim. I did realize that a bottom was coming if I didnt change though. And change has to come from within, not from external sources or for anyone else.

[Vintersemestre]

Originally Posted by christin1225

I have not had that confirmed by my doctor

A pharmacist would be the person who could confirm that In fact that question has an extremely complex answer that even the most experienced pharmacist would most likely not know. You'd probably have to find someone who works in the Synthetics department of a drug laboratory.

[vicodaniel]

I have heard that unisom works for sleep. that was the worst for me also I literally had "sheet burn" from tossing and turning all night.

[Celestiale]

Hey hey...day 15, doing good! I'm so glad that you're feeling better too!! I was actually (dare I say it) HYPER last night, and I wanted to DO STUFF! I haven't been motivated in so long...this is so much better than taking pills to mask other things.

[kj3880]

Scotts,
That is similar to my story. I didn't have anything happen specifically that made me seek recovery. There wasn't any crisis. But everything was getting harder. Money was getting tight. And I work at a job where, if I were found out, I'd be immediately fired. They do random urine tests.

So one day, being the lone female supervisor, I was given the task of taking a woman they suspected of using coke to a urinalysis at the hospital we use. She was shaking and crying, asking me, "Is there any way that something else would come up positive for coke, like codeine cough syrup?" So, it was no big surprise when they did a rapid-test and it came back positive for coke. I had to suspend her and drive her home to her two small children and the elderly mom she was supporting on her own. Talk about sad. I felt as guilty as could be. Even though I didn't use coke, I could see that this could happen to me from my pain pills.

That was the start of me going to NA for help. I realized that I don't have to learn from hard experience that I will lose everything to drugs if I keep using. I can learn from watching others. From what I've seen, it is unusual for an addict to reach a bottom in this way, but they say your bottom is when you stop digging. I stopped before someone forced the shovel out of my hands. That's not a bad thing. You don't have to get hit by a speeding locomotive to know that you wouldn't survive one.

In my opinion though, meetings are more important for people like us, because the nightmare situations of others are what caused us to stop, so we need to keep hearing newcomers' stories and remember what can happen if we pick up again. We have to remember that we didn't lose anything YET. All that loss can still happen; all of our nevers can come true, if we don't heed the wreckage we see coming our way.

Love,
KJ

[scotts]

KJ, what has kept me from meetings (besides my own fear of them) is the fact that I have heard and read that they can be a place to find hookups. Right now I am doing the best I have in years as far as cravings go (maybe once a day I crave).

Do you think meetings would still be a good idea for me? I am open to anything that will keep me clean and not let me forget the hell that addiction is. In the past I SO easily forget the bad part and just remember the good.

Thanks.

[Vintersemestre]

Originally Posted by kj3880

Scotts,
That is similar to my story. I didn't have anything happen specifically that made me seek recovery. There wasn't any crisis. But everything was getting harder. Money was getting tight. And I work at a job where, if I were found out, I'd be immediately fired. They do random urine tests.

So one day, being the lone female supervisor, I was given the task of taking a woman they suspected of using coke to a urinalysis at the hospital we use. She was shaking and crying, asking me, "Is there any way that something else would come up positive for coke, like codeine cough syrup?" So, it was no big surprise when they did a rapid-test and it came back positive for coke. I had to suspend her and drive her home to her two small children and the elderly mom she was supporting on her own. Talk about sad. I felt as guilty as could be. Even though I didn't use coke, I could see that this could happen to me from my pain pills.

That was the start of me going to NA for help. I realized that I don't have to learn from hard experience that I will lose everything to drugs if I keep using. I can learn from watching others. From what I've seen, it is unusual for an addict to reach a bottom in this way, but they say your bottom is when you stop digging. I stopped before someone forced the shovel out of my hands. That's not a bad thing. You don't have to get hit by a speeding locomotive to know that you wouldn't survive one.

In my opinion though, meetings are more important for people like us, because the nightmare situations of others are what caused us to stop, so we need to keep hearing newcomers' stories and remember what can happen if we pick up again. We have to remember that we didn't lose anything YET. All that loss can still happen; all of our nevers can come true, if we don't heed the wreckage we see coming our way.

Love,
KJ

That's disgusting. I would never work for any company that thinks it's business also pertains to my private life.

[bval]

Originally Posted by Vintersemestre

That's disgusting. I would never work for any company that thinks it's business also pertains to my private life.

Although I totally agree in principle with you Vinter, if the person was actually AT WORK under the influence of cocaine ... that makes it 'their business', and not just 'your private life' anymore, I'm afraid.

[Vintersemestre]

If it's effecting the person's job performance and there's a suspicion, sure, but if it's random it's something totally different.

[scotts]

Tomorrow is my one month anniversary of being opiate free. One month down. It feels good to be free of the ish, now is the critical time to stay away, stay clean, etc...

[kj3880]

Scotts, that is so wonderful! I'm proud to hear it for you! I don't think that NA meetings are common places to find hook-ups. That has not been my experience. I'm sure if you go in there asking around, you may find a few court-slip folks (though not most of them) that really are there under pressure and still use and know where to get drugs. But the vast majority of people at NA are there because they want to get clean. And they will support your efforts, not discourage you, in your recovery. Go in there with the idea that you are seeking to stick with the winners!

Vint,
Actually, I protect the public safety in my job. Although I never went to work in an "out of it" state, this woman who got fired actually passed out at work when she was coming down. She was in a position, as I am, where she drives professionally, and she could have killed someone. So she made it their business.

Love,
KJ

[Celestiale]

I'm a week behind you, so I will keep looking up to you! Keep up the awesome work, and go get your 30 day tag at a meeting! The only think I got 'hooked up' with when I went, was a phone number of support. They really are just like you and me. *hugs*

[Vintersemestre]

Then I agree KJ. You can't be endangering people's live or wasting company money/time with your drug use. I do disagree with random drug testing though, regardless of the position. If anyone at all should be subjected to random drug tests it's every single person involved in governance.