cravings

[Jayme]

I am a 22 year old female who thought the worst was over with. I started using when i was in high school, would just drink and smoke, an sometimes take a pill or two. Problems came my freshman year in college when drugs began to control my life. i quickly got addicted to meth and K. One very random day about a year later i decided i needed to STOP, and so i did, alone. i continued to smoke sometimes and drink for the next 3 years.
It was not until recently, when my life started to fall apart a little that i realized i might not have rid myself of my addiction, but rather put it on hold. My craving have gotten intense and i ignored them. Yesterday i found myself in a scary familiar space on the verge of relapse. i turned to a friend of mine who is a recovering acoholic and he helped me through the difficult day. My willpower is fading and i am not in as much control as i think i am. I am an addict and until i get help i will contiue to be sick. i dont know where to turn and relize if i dont get help i will relapse. I want this all to stop. Buti dont know how? Please help! i am in the NYC area. thanks

Jayme

[phoenix]

Jayme...in order to relapse you have to first be in recovery.Maybe I missed something,but it doesn't sound like you are there yet.As you said,you've put it on hold.Or maybe traded one substance for another.Have you considered going to NA meetings?

Recovery doesn't just happen.It takes time and effort.At one time,my whole life revolved around getting my next fix.It was not really even a life anymore.It was merely an existance,and a pathetic one at that.Nothing changed until I finally saw that doing things my way was killing me.Are you ready to change?

If you want help,you are in the right place.Do some reading here,and on the NA forum.Be sure to read the Power Post at the top of the page on the NA forum.If you want to recover more than anything else,there is help and there is hope.

Keep posting.You don't have to do it alone.

phoenix

[wishIsedNO]

like i wrote you before..you have to choose what kind of help you want..Im 22 too..and i understand what you going through..and its especially hard when theres not many other people are age going to get help or admitting to there addictions or problems cause they feel there young and will deal with it or its just some phase and there experimenting..
But you have to realize even when you get help you will always be and addict..once you decided to go down that road its like signing your life away to the devil..But dont get too discourage ive been clean for a year except 2 relapses..of using heroin for 6 yrs and coke before that and then weed...this is the longest ive got clean since 15yrs old..and its great..once u get passed the hard parts its like walking on a cloud in away..especially how u dont have this pbessesion always in your mind...Im not gonna say u dont think about it at least once a day..but it does get easier..Im just saying you can never give up your recovery and never allow yourself to get too cocky..you have to always keep in mind your disease is just around the corner from u and then you will be alright...keep yourself busy find what u really like doing and stick with it..Whats our problem as addicts is we get bored to easily...so we really must try never to be bored to long(boredom is root of all evil,,)I am sure you will do find once you find your nook..at least your are doing the first step of admitting that u are powerless to this..and that u need help....write me anytime...Like i sed you can also find me on iduno2003@aol.com...wish u luck..Jackie

[51anna]

Hang in there, Jayme. You know you are on the right path and it sounds like you have a strong desire to be sober. You could check out NA in your area and hang around the board here and chat with people who will support and understand you. Like Phoenix said, it takes a lot of commitment to be sober, but it sounds like you're ready to take it on. Good luck!

Anna