Rx dependence & intro long

[yogalover33]

Hello all, just felt like coming on over for some support. Haven't been to an AA meeting in ages. Haven't relapsed on illegal drugs or alcohol but have become dependent on Rx for my ADHD. Please no debates whether or not adult ADHD exists. don't wanna go there! didn't get diax till age 31. Btw, i honestly DID call Pdoc today & tell her about Adderall been going on (finally). She wants me to taper off it & start Strattera (non-stimulant instead, OK). Another drug added? What? She barely listened to me but is very busy person. hopefully you all wont' mind listening to me!

K, actually i was sober for nearly 3 yrs for the 4th time (later bout that) & had taken more Vicoprofen Rx after 2 root canals (2 diff. times same summer) 2002. Dentist commented you have prob w/ this~~~no DUH. WEll, that's when started. Then, over yr ago, received Adderall Rx by my Pdoc. Never took anything like this since using crank 87-beg of 90 & not since. Used to relapse on alcohol but not since 5 yrs ago. Honestly. Sob date was 8/7/98~~~(for the 4th time, long story NOT get into now) all facked up now!

i follow the Rx until all wears off in evening. Then dont' wanna tolerate that & have been dependent on it some eves to get more done around house, not feel so tired, blah, blah, blah! LIke NOT wanting to just be & feel feelings or some flacked up thing. So hard to get outta house in time to go to meeting w/ adjusting to being new Mom (which i love my daughter (born 3/4/03 on Fat Tuesday) more than life itself & has given life more meaning)....She's huge blessing of a daughter, more than we could've ever imagined! Am in such AWE! Thankyou GOD! thoughts she was sobriety gift baby till the brief stint w/ pain med Rx & this stupid Adderall Rx.

This online thing is better than no meeting at all i suppose. Husband's been sober 4 & 1/2 yrs. He's one helluva good guy, really! It's not affecting our relationship well especially. I DID tell Doc finally today & i wanna bat her~~~i feel like throwing tablets down toilet cuz they kinda scare me when i take more @ night (this is so LAME in every sense of lame) & my chest is tight as we speak. gives bejeebies. yeah, serves me right, too.

EVeryone Dh (dear husband) & dd (dear daughter) are fast asleep. May have a heart attack w/ this damn rx, prob NOT if this is last night w/ it. Never was "sposed to exceed Rx or take @ night!" AAARGH! Supposed to begin tapering off tomorrow & start new non-stimulant, Strattera. I might just throw this S#$% down the toilet NOW~~will i be saying same thing tonight? Better not be! It' f up.

Said I wouldn't take more last night, (anxiety thru roof) & same mistake tonight. Hah. This is so f'ing LAME! GUess needed to vent, if you've got this far! Miracle! Rx helps fine in daytime~~~but to take more sometimes like i have~~~it's SCARY, really. Why wanna screw w/ things like taht? Am ADDICT i guess! (doh) I do know better, k?!! *smacks self on head* well, guess will be coming round more, hopefully in better space!!!!! Look forward to returning if you'll allow it! didn't mean to write a damn book! Bye now.

Love, Shelle

[phoenix]

Hi and welcome

You've come to the right place for encouragement and support.Feel free to read and post wherever you like.And don't worry,we're really good listeners.Take care,

phoenix

[Gooch]

I won't debate the Add thing with ya. I gots it. Diagnosed at 39. (just turned 45) I'm not taking anything to deal with mine. I was on Ritalin for about 6 mos. about 5 years ago. I kept a journal and asked my friends to give me observational feedback. That helped me identify major triggers and behaviours, and allows me some preemptive and corrective choices.

Yogalover .. i had allready been going to meetings and staying clean about 6 years .. kept comparing my recovery to others and wondering what the hell I was doing wrong when I found out about the ADD. What a relief to know that I shouldn't have expected the same from myself as I did from other addicts working their recovery. I readjusted my pace and happenned to notice the first three letters of addict. ?? a little higher power inside joke for us?

Keep coming back! this is a great place! feel free to pm me if you want to discuss this at greater length. might be a day or 2 before i can respond as I still get all squirrly trying to set my priorities sometimes and get to everything. i will respond though!