Almost 7 years since Layne died
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Almost 7 years since Layne died
Just came across this article about Layne Staley's biography. This article contains excerpts from his last interview 3 months before he died of an overdose on cocaine and heroin.
For those who don't know who layne is - he was the singer for popular grunge band Alice in Chains and battled chronic heroin dependence from almost 15 years till he passed away in May 2002.
Almost a year after the April 2002 death of Alice in Chains singer Layne Staley, the final interview with the troubled musician has surfaced in the recently released book "Layne Staley: Angry Chair — A Look Inside the Heart and Soul of an Incredible Musician" by Argentinean writer and music fan Adriana Rubio.
The conversation took place less than three months before Staley died from an overdose of heroin and cocaine ("Layne Staley Died From Mix Of Heroin, Cocaine, Report Says"), and revealed a broken 34-year-old who had given up the will to live.
"I know I'm dying," he rasped through missing teeth. "I'm not doing well. Don't try to talk about this to my sister Liz. She will know it sooner or later."
Staley, suffering from fever and nausea, told Rubio that his need for heroin was all-consuming, even though the effects of the drug were no longer enjoyable. He added that smack had completely ravaged his system and left him empty and filled with regrets.
"This f---ing drug use is like the insulin a diabetic needs to survive," he said. "I'm not using drugs to get high like many people think. I know I made a big mistake when I started using this sh--. It's a very difficult thing to explain. My liver is not functioning and I'm throwing up all the time and sh---ing my pants. The pain is more than you can handle. It's the worst pain in the world. Dope sick hurts the entire body."
The most chilling passage of the interview reads like a suicide note.
"I know I'm near death," he said. "I did crack and heroin for years. I never wanted to end my life this way. I know I have no chance. It's too late. I never wanted [the public's] thumbs' up about this f---ing drug use. Don't try to contact any AIC (Alice in Chains) members. They are not my friends."
In the rest of the interview, Staley talked about his relationship with his family. He stressed that he's always been close to his mother Nancy McCallum, sister Liz and stepsister Jamie, but that when he was eight years old his father walked out on the family and Staley's life faded to black.
"My world became a nightmare," he said. "There were just shadows around me. I got [a] call saying that my dad had died, [but] my family always knew he was around doing all kind of drugs. Since that call I always was wondering, 'Where is my dad?' I felt so sad for him and I missed him. He dropped out of my life for 15 years."
Staley insisted he always knew he had the talent and creativity to be rock star, and thought that if he became a celebrity his dad would return. So he started writing songs in his teens and jamming with other musicians. At the same time, he did a bit of research to find out where his father was living and what kind of a man he was.
"When I was 16, I tried to find him without saying a word to my family," revealed Staley. "I did it for a long f---in' time, and what I found over the years was not good, so I changed my mind about wanting to see my dad again."
At that point, Staley focused all his energy on music, reveling in it as a cathartic outlet.
"I was about 20, and music became my only obsession to stay alive," he said. "I had the chance to throw out all this anger by the music in order to help others. It was therapeutic and worked [for] me for a while until my dad saw my picture printed on a magazine."
Just as Alice in Chains started to take off, the man Staley expended so much energy and anguish thinking about suddenly wanted to become a part of the rocker's life. The then 21-year-old singer was wary, but he still hoped seeing his dad again would help fill the hole in his heart.
"He said he'd been clean of drugs for six years," Staley related. "So, why in the hell didn't he come back before? I was very cautious at first. Then the relationship changed. My father started using drugs again. We did drugs together and I found myself in a miserable situation. He started visiting me all day to get high and do drugs with me. He came up to me just to get some sh--, and that's all. I was trying to kick this habit out of my life and here comes this man asking for money to buy some smack."
Being used by his father was one of the forces that contributed to Staley's downward slide.
"He finally kicked heroin use, and I'm still fighting," he said bitterly. "I invested a lot of money on treatments. I know I did my best or what I thought would be right. I changed my number. I don't wanna see people anymore and it's nobody's business but mine."
The remainder of "Layne Staley: Angry Chair" is composed of interviews with the singer's mom and sister that outline Staley's childhood, interests, personality, love life and career. The 146-page book also contains the author's take on the European Renaissance and the history of heroin.
Rubio wrote much of the text in first person and empathized with Staley's family by comparing her struggle with bulimia to the ravages of addiction. She features quotes and song lyrics by musician John Brandon, who penned the book "Unchained ... The Story of Mike Starr," but did not interview any of Staley's bandmates, friends, business associates or artists that toured with Alice in Chains.
"Layne Staley: Angry Chair" features 50 pages of photos of Staley's sketches, diary entries, childhood pictures, art work and his eulogy by his friend and Screaming Trees drummer Barrett Martin.
For those who don't know who layne is - he was the singer for popular grunge band Alice in Chains and battled chronic heroin dependence from almost 15 years till he passed away in May 2002.
Almost a year after the April 2002 death of Alice in Chains singer Layne Staley, the final interview with the troubled musician has surfaced in the recently released book "Layne Staley: Angry Chair — A Look Inside the Heart and Soul of an Incredible Musician" by Argentinean writer and music fan Adriana Rubio.
The conversation took place less than three months before Staley died from an overdose of heroin and cocaine ("Layne Staley Died From Mix Of Heroin, Cocaine, Report Says"), and revealed a broken 34-year-old who had given up the will to live.
"I know I'm dying," he rasped through missing teeth. "I'm not doing well. Don't try to talk about this to my sister Liz. She will know it sooner or later."
Staley, suffering from fever and nausea, told Rubio that his need for heroin was all-consuming, even though the effects of the drug were no longer enjoyable. He added that smack had completely ravaged his system and left him empty and filled with regrets.
"This f---ing drug use is like the insulin a diabetic needs to survive," he said. "I'm not using drugs to get high like many people think. I know I made a big mistake when I started using this sh--. It's a very difficult thing to explain. My liver is not functioning and I'm throwing up all the time and sh---ing my pants. The pain is more than you can handle. It's the worst pain in the world. Dope sick hurts the entire body."
The most chilling passage of the interview reads like a suicide note.
"I know I'm near death," he said. "I did crack and heroin for years. I never wanted to end my life this way. I know I have no chance. It's too late. I never wanted [the public's] thumbs' up about this f---ing drug use. Don't try to contact any AIC (Alice in Chains) members. They are not my friends."
In the rest of the interview, Staley talked about his relationship with his family. He stressed that he's always been close to his mother Nancy McCallum, sister Liz and stepsister Jamie, but that when he was eight years old his father walked out on the family and Staley's life faded to black.
"My world became a nightmare," he said. "There were just shadows around me. I got [a] call saying that my dad had died, [but] my family always knew he was around doing all kind of drugs. Since that call I always was wondering, 'Where is my dad?' I felt so sad for him and I missed him. He dropped out of my life for 15 years."
Staley insisted he always knew he had the talent and creativity to be rock star, and thought that if he became a celebrity his dad would return. So he started writing songs in his teens and jamming with other musicians. At the same time, he did a bit of research to find out where his father was living and what kind of a man he was.
"When I was 16, I tried to find him without saying a word to my family," revealed Staley. "I did it for a long f---in' time, and what I found over the years was not good, so I changed my mind about wanting to see my dad again."
At that point, Staley focused all his energy on music, reveling in it as a cathartic outlet.
"I was about 20, and music became my only obsession to stay alive," he said. "I had the chance to throw out all this anger by the music in order to help others. It was therapeutic and worked [for] me for a while until my dad saw my picture printed on a magazine."
Just as Alice in Chains started to take off, the man Staley expended so much energy and anguish thinking about suddenly wanted to become a part of the rocker's life. The then 21-year-old singer was wary, but he still hoped seeing his dad again would help fill the hole in his heart.
"He said he'd been clean of drugs for six years," Staley related. "So, why in the hell didn't he come back before? I was very cautious at first. Then the relationship changed. My father started using drugs again. We did drugs together and I found myself in a miserable situation. He started visiting me all day to get high and do drugs with me. He came up to me just to get some sh--, and that's all. I was trying to kick this habit out of my life and here comes this man asking for money to buy some smack."
Being used by his father was one of the forces that contributed to Staley's downward slide.
"He finally kicked heroin use, and I'm still fighting," he said bitterly. "I invested a lot of money on treatments. I know I did my best or what I thought would be right. I changed my number. I don't wanna see people anymore and it's nobody's business but mine."
The remainder of "Layne Staley: Angry Chair" is composed of interviews with the singer's mom and sister that outline Staley's childhood, interests, personality, love life and career. The 146-page book also contains the author's take on the European Renaissance and the history of heroin.
Rubio wrote much of the text in first person and empathized with Staley's family by comparing her struggle with bulimia to the ravages of addiction. She features quotes and song lyrics by musician John Brandon, who penned the book "Unchained ... The Story of Mike Starr," but did not interview any of Staley's bandmates, friends, business associates or artists that toured with Alice in Chains.
"Layne Staley: Angry Chair" features 50 pages of photos of Staley's sketches, diary entries, childhood pictures, art work and his eulogy by his friend and Screaming Trees drummer Barrett Martin.
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Location: Midland, NC
Posts: 1,266
Great post, great article! I loved Alice in Chains. They were very popular when my husband and I started dating and to hear one of there songs takes us down memory lane.
Reading this just reaffirms how lucky I am to be alive after years of taking opiates and using/smoking cocaine which is essentially 'speedballing'. I so relate to the statement he made about not using to get high, but just to stay well.
Before entering rehab, I was taking about 30, 10mg hydro or oxycodones per day plus smoking an 8 ball of coke. My liver was enlarged and was causing me a lot of pain. When they tested my liver enzymes in rehab, they were through the roof!
I'm so sorry Layne lost his battle.
Another good read... "Heroin Diaries by Nikki Sixx"
God Bless the Addict,
Penny
Reading this just reaffirms how lucky I am to be alive after years of taking opiates and using/smoking cocaine which is essentially 'speedballing'. I so relate to the statement he made about not using to get high, but just to stay well.
Before entering rehab, I was taking about 30, 10mg hydro or oxycodones per day plus smoking an 8 ball of coke. My liver was enlarged and was causing me a lot of pain. When they tested my liver enzymes in rehab, they were through the roof!
I'm so sorry Layne lost his battle.
Another good read... "Heroin Diaries by Nikki Sixx"
God Bless the Addict,
Penny
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CA Native
Posts: 2,509
I remember the day after Layne died I was going to a protest of the inevitable Iraq Destruction/Occupation in the streets of SF, and I created myself a T-Shirt with all kinds of anti-war/bush messages on it, but I saved space for a big RIP LAYNE across my back...
So I'll say it again ... RIP Layne.
You are missed, man.
So I'll say it again ... RIP Layne.
You are missed, man.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
I saw Alice in Chains back in the early nineties when they were an opening act for Van Halen. I can't say I enjoyed the music, so I when I read the first line of ******'s post, I didn't make the connection. I did, however, head to wikipedia for the scoop. I found this line particularly telling:
I find it incredibly sad that one of the common elements in those who die from the disease is that they have isolated themselves so severely that when death comes, it's often alone. I have several friends who went that way. I spent the last six months in a room, leaving rarely, and expecting fully that my life would end there.
"Sam Stone was alone / When he popped his last balloon / Climbing walls while sitting in a chair / Well, he played his last request / While the room smelled just like death / With an overdose hovering in the air" (John Prine, Sam Stone)
I know that smell, and the story of Layne illustrates how few of us who do know the smell come back to tell about it.
Rest in Peace, man.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
The King County Coroner's Office estimated Staley to have died on April 5, 2002, exactly 8 years after fellow grunge musician Kurt Cobain also died (Cobain was found three days later, on April 8). Staley's body was not discovered until two weeks later.
"Sam Stone was alone / When he popped his last balloon / Climbing walls while sitting in a chair / Well, he played his last request / While the room smelled just like death / With an overdose hovering in the air" (John Prine, Sam Stone)
I know that smell, and the story of Layne illustrates how few of us who do know the smell come back to tell about it.
Rest in Peace, man.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
The truth shall set you free
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: United States
Posts: 5,267
Sugah, I know that smell to well.
Another glimpse into where addiction CAN take you.
Lets not forget greeneyes3902 and acristicat or Miraclen2003 who was a big part of my recovery when I first got here in 2004. For those of you who don’t know these beloved member here on Sober Recovery. Read there stories on top under the Sticky.
Ivan
Another glimpse into where addiction CAN take you.
Lets not forget greeneyes3902 and acristicat or Miraclen2003 who was a big part of my recovery when I first got here in 2004. For those of you who don’t know these beloved member here on Sober Recovery. Read there stories on top under the Sticky.
Ivan
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by Sugah 
"Sam Stone was alone / When he popped his last balloon / Climbing walls while sitting in a chair / Well, he played his last request / While the room smelled just like death / With an overdose hovering in the air" (John Prine, Sam Stone)
It still troubles me to think of all those days Layne was dead before they discovered his body, and the level of decomposition. Isolation and addiction. Tragic.
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